Dreamer
@elgatoesmio.bsky.social
wondering through the woods
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy
Pinned
Dreamer
@elgatoesmio.bsky.social
· Feb 10
when I’m on my deathbed I hope all the cats of my life come visit me like angels
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me: dating is hard
me on a date: what if rice krispies are allergic to milk that’s why they sound like that
me on a date: what if rice krispies are allergic to milk that’s why they sound like that
November 24, 2025 at 2:19 AM
me: dating is hard
me on a date: what if rice krispies are allergic to milk that’s why they sound like that
me on a date: what if rice krispies are allergic to milk that’s why they sound like that
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Went to an art museum to feel cultured. Left feeling judged by a painting of fruit.
November 23, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Went to an art museum to feel cultured. Left feeling judged by a painting of fruit.
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*my phone alarm goes off*
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
November 21, 2025 at 9:27 AM
*my phone alarm goes off*
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
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We're out of milk so I'm putting cool whip on my cereal
November 24, 2025 at 11:38 AM
We're out of milk so I'm putting cool whip on my cereal
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"I'm an ideas man" he said while rolling the fattest joint the world has ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 7:15 PM
"I'm an ideas man" he said while rolling the fattest joint the world has ever seen
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Sometimes I think about Dom DeLuise and everything's okay again for a little while
November 21, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Sometimes I think about Dom DeLuise and everything's okay again for a little while
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When you find yourself in bear country always carry a steak to throw at any hungry grizzlies that cross your path so they know how delicious you will be.
November 24, 2025 at 2:01 PM
When you find yourself in bear country always carry a steak to throw at any hungry grizzlies that cross your path so they know how delicious you will be.
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having a wood chipper would be fun
November 23, 2025 at 3:32 PM
having a wood chipper would be fun
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There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
November 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
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When calligraphers get mad they send strongly lettered words
November 24, 2025 at 5:31 AM
When calligraphers get mad they send strongly lettered words
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“Great, now I have to pee.”
November 24, 2025 at 6:07 PM
“Great, now I have to pee.”
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I prefer my insanity virtual, thanks.
November 25, 2025 at 12:13 AM
I prefer my insanity virtual, thanks.
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sometimes I put a little weed butter on my brekkie sammich and wake up just in time for dinner.
November 23, 2025 at 6:13 PM
sometimes I put a little weed butter on my brekkie sammich and wake up just in time for dinner.
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Never get involved in a land war in Asia, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Never get involved in a land war in Asia, Charlie Brown.
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I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
November 24, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
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My daughter (10) got her tonsils out today. When she woke up after surgery, she held up her stuffy, locked eyes with it and whispered, "What did you witness!?"
November 25, 2025 at 12:49 AM
My daughter (10) got her tonsils out today. When she woke up after surgery, she held up her stuffy, locked eyes with it and whispered, "What did you witness!?"
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Nikola Tesla sues from the grave: "Get my name off that damned car!".
November 24, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Nikola Tesla sues from the grave: "Get my name off that damned car!".
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Getting my debris read today, I know it sounds kooky but it's less invasive than having my wreckage scoured and more accurate than mayday mayday in a box
November 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Getting my debris read today, I know it sounds kooky but it's less invasive than having my wreckage scoured and more accurate than mayday mayday in a box
Reposted by Dreamer
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR LINEN PANTS.
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR LINEN PANTS.
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Some bees don't even appreciate their own knees cos body dysmorphia
November 22, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Some bees don't even appreciate their own knees cos body dysmorphia
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Why the FUCK am I awake? A memoir…
November 23, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Why the FUCK am I awake? A memoir…
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Just once could someone make wine from my tears
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Just once could someone make wine from my tears
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Some of you think you still have time; I thought the same when I was your age.
November 22, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Some of you think you still have time; I thought the same when I was your age.
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why does the most awkward person in every sitcom seem to be based on someone like me
November 22, 2025 at 1:38 PM
why does the most awkward person in every sitcom seem to be based on someone like me
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Man, I’m kind of sorry for being such a smartass today but let me promise you this one thing it will happen again
November 22, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Man, I’m kind of sorry for being such a smartass today but let me promise you this one thing it will happen again