There once was a limerick at sonnetcon? Wow even poetry news is anarchy

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

I’m sorry God, but I met some Franciscan monks this weekend & lemme just say—all smokin hot. Idk if it was the overgrown beards, the St. Francis-ness, or all that brown in the fall, but I fell hard

People say mucking foron like it's not how you harvest some extremely rare element from a swamp

Just made a lot of minestrone, a maxestrone in fact.

Thank you for pointing out the logical fallacy in my fart joke

So you're telling me a home grew this pumpkin soup?

children of the creamed corn

The picture I saw in the picture doesn't look like the picture I ordered. You bet I complained! They told me the picture I have is indeed the picture in the picture. Words were exchanged, most of them were the word "picture". Then they told me I'm seeing things. I said duh, that how seeing works.

I will convince a picky eater to try my puttanesca. Anything that basically translates to whore’s spaghetti should put some hair on their chest.

muting people irl with a hammer

Friend: are you almost ready for our hike?
Me: *waiting for my French onion soup to cool so I can fill my Camelback* 10 mins

bsky is the end of sm line for me. starting over again on another site is about appealing as harvesting my own organs with a shrimp fork.

Lying here til it gets light (timeline).

These Alien spin-offs need to stop.

there is no god when Diane Keaton dies before Woody Allen does

🎶 how deep is your state 🎶

Conspiricee Gees

The only reason to fill your face with fillers is to ensure you have mayonnaise for later.

One great thing about having a chest wound is you can walk around with a real "what are ya gonna do to me, stab me in the chest?" attitude. I'm just here to remind you that one can have two chest wounds, so you may wanna say,"What are you gonna do to me, stab me in the chest TWICE?"

Your chances of being Bret Easton Ellis are low but never less than zero

Sorry your boyfriend thinks foreplay is a football pregame show.

If there is a pore, yo I'll unclog it
Check out this weird, sketchy blackhead hook I bought on Shein while my DJ revolves it

We just keep letting Jared Leto happen for some reason.

Finally just going to do the account I've always wanted, recipes for dodos where you lick various spices and sauces off of them in a slow chasing style. I suppose it could work with current escargots