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@kattsdogma.bsky.social

18K followers 480 following 6K posts

it me, kd: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bgwoouqx463ponaj5f4wy5y2/feed/aaab3vh6gtzlc

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · Nov 13

*2 seconds after taking my meds* oh shit did i take my meds 🤔

93 380 1.7K

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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 4d

Can’t right now I’m writing the AP US History textbook chapter on how democracy was saved by dancing inflatables

3 60 300

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 12h

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

18 53 230

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · Jun 1

Yes, by all means, autocorrect. Let’s describe me as a “long distance ruiner.”

3 81 320

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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 1d

I've really got to stop buying these generic brands. Somehow, this Hamburger Enabler just doesn't taste quite the same.

5 18 50

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Norm @ogskydog.com · 3d

no one should get a nobel prize until weird al gets one

13 36

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 2d

🎶Whoa, Black Betty🎶

9 300 1.3K

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 11h

No, I'm not a martial arts expert. You're Kung Fusing me with someone else.

2 21 63

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boofus 🎃 @te-kanawa.bsky.social · 4d

naked and afraid

but it's just me going pee in the middle of the night

4 29 120

kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 8h

narrator: they did not crash.

kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 8h

me, during turbulence on a flight: omg i think we’re gonna crash aaaarrrrggghhh !!

also me: i’ll have the goldfish crackers. and the plantains. thanks

2 16 49

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 2d

There’s really no punk rock way to make a solar system out of birthday cake.

12 38 110

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 1d

One great thing about having a chest wound is you can walk around with a real "what are ya gonna do to me, stab me in the chest?" attitude. I'm just here to remind you that one can have two chest wounds, so you may wanna say,"What are you gonna do to me, stab me in the chest TWICE?"

11 57 270

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 17h

Yes I dangled a modifier, but I did it for you.

5 53 140

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 2d

if you're in line to declare your crush on me stay in line

8 38 160

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 16h

I just felt a small, but genuine thrill when noticing we’d finally finished the awful lemon-scented hand soap in the kitchen, and it had been replaced with my favorite cherry blossom soap. It would seem that I have a favorite hand soap. Such is the rock and roll lifestyle I lead.