Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

The Amytyville Horror

@msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social

18K followers 520 following 13K posts

melancholic. bad poet. obscene, perverse, awkward little weirdo. she/her skeets: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaademkmaiuwk bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:qpaecp6vknbnc77svofj4dvg/feed/aaaed4kso7mnw

bsky.app

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · Jul 10

“hey little girl is your daddy home?” bruce springsteen asks me

i don’t answer because that’s a fucken weird thing to say to a 41yo woman eating corn on the cob over the sink

29 110 760

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 3d

I tried living the dream but it turned out I was just having the hallucination.

1 62 220

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 21d

Feeling mighty deciduous today

3 25 68

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 6d

My next business venture is a new line of cuck chairs for hotel rooms around the world. Cucks deserve our very best

4 11 52

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

braindro @raindro.bsky.social · 9d

cattle implies the existence of dogtle

1 13 41

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 2d

You know what it is, the mind yearning to commune with the night and knowing not to say day things like talking to ambience solves nothing let's fuck up afternoons

1 36 63

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

Finally just going to do the account I've always wanted, recipes for dodos where you lick various spices and sauces off of them in a slow chasing style. I suppose it could work with current escargots

2 19 41

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 8h

if it doesn’t rain when you’re sad
that means mother nature doesn’t like you

6 30 88

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 5h

i had to give up microwave burritos the sexual tension was overwhelming

1 16 66

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 5h

Thinking today of the Headless Horseman, who must be so frustrated by people dwelling on what he lacks at the expense of all the many things he has.

2 12 55

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 5h

maybe we just start thinking of it more as a Trolley OPPORTUNITY

3 20 66

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 2d

The E in Chuck E. Cheese stands for Eldritch

9 16 81

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

The Ass is the father of the legs @internethippo.bsky.social · 7h

Christ

C. Buckthorn @cbuckthorn.bsky.social · 13h

This is amazing. I laughed out loud www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

As 32-year-old Rich points out, though, "it's not like using ChatGPT guarantees success".
When he met someone in a bar one Friday night and swapped social media handles, he asked AI what his next move should be.
ChatGPT discerned that sending an initial message on Monday midmorning would set the right pace. "Then it gave me some options for what the message could be," says Rich.
"Keep it light, warm, and low-stakes so it reads as genuine interest without urgency," the bot advised. "Something like: Hey Sarah, still laughing about [tiny shared moment/reference if you've got one] - good to meet you!" Rich went back and forth with ChatGPT until he felt they'd hit upon exactly the right message ("Hey Sarah, it was lovely to meet you") but sadly she never replied, he says. "It's been two weeks now."

41 130 1.7K

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 6h

muting people irl with a hammer

6 32 120

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 1d

(calls in sick)

My throat hurts, I choked on a bag of dicks

1 20 90

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

“The cat is such a perfect symbol of beauty and superiority that it seems scarcely possible for any true aesthete and civilised cynic to do other than worship it.”

- H.P. Lovecraft

A hand holding a dripping wet, bulging-eyed, flat-faced cat looking sadly at the camera.

80 240 1.9K

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 2d

BREAKING: living under the current administration is now classified as a chronic health condition. additionally, healthcare for that chronic condition is not allowed under the current administration

3 28 150

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 21h

you can whisper kris kross to yourself as a pep talk during a presentation no one will care is a lesson I learned this week

2 24 68

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 18h

it remains fucking bullshit that neither of these guns are fired by the final act of the cherry orchard

cropped photo of a passage from chekhov's the cherry orchard:

the clearest of days. The sun is about to set. SHARLOTTA, ASHA, and DUNYASHA are sitting on the bench. YEPIKHODOV stands nearby playing the guitar.
They are all lost in thought. [highlighted sentence:] SHARLOTTA, who is wearing an old peaked cap, bas taken a shotgun off her shoulder and is adjusting the buckle on the strap.

cropped photo of a passage from chekhov's the cherry orchard:

YEPIKHODOV. I am a man of culture—I read the most sundry books—but I still can't quite decide what direction to take, what I really want to do-live on or shoot myself, so to speak. But to be on the safe side, [highlighted:] I always carry a revolver with me. See?... (He takes out a revolver.)

12 40

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

karyl @paintedsky.ca · 8h

the abyss said I have nice eyes ☺️

1 8 27

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 16h

Me: you know they used to kill horses for glue

Friend: seriously?

[flashback to 1953]

Farmer: [racks shotgun]

Horse: [holding tube of elmer's] no I need this for my crafts

19 110

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

BAJA BLAST BLAINE @shrekromancer.gay · 15h

therapist: so, tell me a bit about what brings you here

me:

heading on the Wikipedia page about the Plagues of Egypt, titled "list of the disasters"

3 44 130

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 17h

words
———
a butt

1 2

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 18h

butt buns ✨

1 2

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 2d

today we think of classical music as stuffy but in the 18th century if a symphony caused a noblewoman any degree of sexual arousal the piece was declared decadent and immoral and her husband would invade the composer's home country. thus was mozart responsible for more dead habsburgs than syphilis.

17 75

Reposted by The Amytyville Horror

Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 1d

me: kierkegaard said the most painful state of being is remembering a future you'll never have

unaging sea witch holding me captive in her stony crag amidst the surging tide: you gonna finish that seagull?

1 24 140