Viktor Winetrout
@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Contributor: @theonion.com
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social
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When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again. Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Dead leaves on the ground make picking up dog poop a more challenging pattern-recognition task, helping keep my mind sharp as I age. It’s like doing nature sudoku. Thank you to everyone involved
November 26, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Dead leaves on the ground make picking up dog poop a more challenging pattern-recognition task, helping keep my mind sharp as I age. It’s like doing nature sudoku. Thank you to everyone involved
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
You won't commission an Etsy witch cause "it's silly", but you'll decorate a dead tree inside your house with lights and ornamental animals? Okay. Guess you hate women in the workforce.
December 1, 2025 at 7:11 AM
You won't commission an Etsy witch cause "it's silly", but you'll decorate a dead tree inside your house with lights and ornamental animals? Okay. Guess you hate women in the workforce.
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
October 28, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Cookie Monster quietly unwrapping a package of cookies during his murder trial
December 7, 2024 at 9:18 PM
Cookie Monster quietly unwrapping a package of cookies during his murder trial
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
December 5, 2025 at 4:43 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff
December 1, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
December 4, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
There is a fifth wave of ska, beyond that which is known to rude boys
December 2, 2025 at 8:24 PM
There is a fifth wave of ska, beyond that which is known to rude boys
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Bluesky Wrapped and it's how many times your own joke was explained to you
December 4, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Bluesky Wrapped and it's how many times your own joke was explained to you
We all got that one homie who unleashes a swarm of evils upon the world
December 4, 2025 at 3:12 PM
We all got that one homie who unleashes a swarm of evils upon the world
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
does anyone else notice the giant lady doesnt cut up your hot dogs anymore!?
Because you're an adult you fucking muppet. You gotta pay the magic forward.
December 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
does anyone else notice the giant lady doesnt cut up your hot dogs anymore!?
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Skeletons shouldn't play each other as instruments
October 11, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Skeletons shouldn't play each other as instruments
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
It takes a big man to admit that he’s wrong. It takes a small man to squeeze through the dog door
December 2, 2025 at 4:15 PM
It takes a big man to admit that he’s wrong. It takes a small man to squeeze through the dog door
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
[making small talk with the sex robot afterward] can you juggle
December 4, 2025 at 6:42 AM
[making small talk with the sex robot afterward] can you juggle
I dated a girl in college who claimed to be a witch but it turned out she was just really into Kate Bush
December 4, 2025 at 5:44 AM
I dated a girl in college who claimed to be a witch but it turned out she was just really into Kate Bush
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
For just 50 cents a day you can throw a roll of pennies at Keith in accounting
November 21, 2024 at 12:55 AM
For just 50 cents a day you can throw a roll of pennies at Keith in accounting
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
We are phasing out the terms “extant” and “extinct” from our exhibits and will now refer to species as either “Darwinners" or “Darlosers.”
November 15, 2025 at 4:42 PM
We are phasing out the terms “extant” and “extinct” from our exhibits and will now refer to species as either “Darwinners" or “Darlosers.”
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
"Imagine you stole all of the intellectual property in the world. And you're using it to help people write middling emails and make revenge porn about women, and also children. And you're powering this plagiarism and non-consensual porn machine by eating up what's left of humanity's carbon budget."
How to explain AI to your family this holiday season | CNN Business
Politics, football and movies are among the many topics that tend to come up around Thanksgiving. In 2025, a new question may arise at the table: Why the heck is everyone talking about AI, and what sh...
www.cnn.com
November 27, 2025 at 4:04 AM
"Imagine you stole all of the intellectual property in the world. And you're using it to help people write middling emails and make revenge porn about women, and also children. And you're powering this plagiarism and non-consensual porn machine by eating up what's left of humanity's carbon budget."
Telling a child that Santa isn't real is one of the hardest things about being a party clown
December 4, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Telling a child that Santa isn't real is one of the hardest things about being a party clown
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
December 4, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
If you get robbed in our parking garage don’t blame us. You should have left with less money
December 2, 2025 at 5:12 PM
If you get robbed in our parking garage don’t blame us. You should have left with less money
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Deez Nuts
January 24, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Deez Nuts
Grant me the serenity to accept the enemies I cannot defeat, the strength to defeat the ones I can, and the wisdom to stop taking Jenga so seriously
December 3, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Grant me the serenity to accept the enemies I cannot defeat, the strength to defeat the ones I can, and the wisdom to stop taking Jenga so seriously
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Classic win win
May 13, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Classic win win
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
I’ve just finished reading the Bible. I even did all the voices
June 12, 2025 at 9:51 AM
I’ve just finished reading the Bible. I even did all the voices