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lanyardigan

@lanyardigan.bsky.social

30K followers 1.2K following 15K posts

Jerry (the mouse) looking over his shoulder long-eyelashly (she/her) My posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2ji4cmweqk4lpn6fsyraot7i/feed/aaagst5qokuyq Best ones https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2ji4cmweqk4lpn6fsyraot7i/feed/aaab5stvmv2xy

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lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · Sep 14

My grandpa (b. 1932) rarely remembers his dreams. But night before last, he dreamed he was watching them complete the Transcontinental Railroad—bringing the tracks from east and west together with a final golden spike. I think we can all agree this is a pretty rockin’ grandpa dream

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Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 18h

see my hands clasped behind my back?
that means give me massive amounts of contemplative space

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john granule @bogbird.bsky.social · 1d

nothing is more important than this right now

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jon @senderblock23.bsky.social · Aug 7

The Karate Adult

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particle dogs @particledogs.bsky.social · 27d

may I speak with the primary poster in your household?

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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 8d

doing up to 7 simultaneous tarot readings at a blackjack table w/ a multi-deck dealer’s shoe

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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 2d

Well I guess I can just BURN MINE TO THE GROUND

Animated Antic @animatedantic.bsky.social · 3d

Guillermo del Toro and Netflix have announced plans to form a new stop motion studio that will be both a studio and a school to push the medium forward and will develop plans to make Del Toro's next stop motion project after Pinocchio. I'm very hyped to see what this leads to!

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lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · Dec 8

Oh hey, I didn’t see you there. I was just holding my cuff in a tiny way. Call this move The Pinchy

A catalog model man wearing red plaid pajamas in front of a Christmas scene. He is smiling and looking to the side, while holding the edge of one sleeve in an incredibly unnatural manner

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lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · 1d

SPKs are sick

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particle dogs @particledogs.bsky.social · 1d

whelp, this floor isn't going to lie on itself

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good hyuck, babe! @markpopham.bsky.social · 1d

eldest is starting a book

Chapter1 part1

It was a normal day for 15 year old Malla Pezi. After a long day of tests ,boxing, and homework, Malla looked out the window and she saw the Blood moon. "Oh no" said Malla under her breath. "Oh no no no no no no no no" Malla knew that her time as a human had come to an end.

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Minovsky @minovskyarticle.bsky.social · 1d

Overheard this same kid telling himself "There are people who aren't as fast as you. You have to be patient with them." Further evidence that he's a young hero in training.

Minovsky @minovskyarticle.bsky.social · May 21

There's a kid in my neighborhood who is always running. Yesterday I saw him stop, pull out a tiny bound notebook, open to the center and quickly scan the contents with a look of deep contemplation. He tapped the page with the back of his hand, said "Yes. Become stronger," and broke back into a run

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Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · Jan 6

I started wrapping my pills in ham slices. I got the idea from my parents dog. The guy cant speak a single word of english but he comes up with a play like ham slices. I will never cease marvelling at Nature

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lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · 1d

Getting my 12 ft. skeleton bone-lengthening surgery for Christmas

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midgie @midgie.bsky.social · 1d

when i was a kid i noticed that
pros and cons
rhymed with
frozen prawns
i waited to be able to make use of this in a way that would make it clear i was particularly impressive and amusing
i am still waiting

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E @ethanhunter.bsky.social · 1d

“Being told I’m wrong and bad means I’m right and smart” is the most Atlantic-brained thing ever.

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Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · Jun 5

You, 6ft tall, full head of hair: i cant get into these crevices im too big and they snag my hair.

Me, 5'6 and bald, emerging from a crevice: yeah I wouldn't know, man

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BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 25d

Goofy 3D face. Text: Are you being good?
• Giving of your time and powers.
• Downloading only pious implements.
• Lingering on charitable notions.
• Ingesting meatful ideas.
• Breathing uncanny particles.
• Telling the devil to scrub hell's tub.
(and mow hell’s lawn while he’s at it)

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thee Michael Whiteshoes @michaelwhiteshoes.bsky.social · 6d

since it's spooky season here's my favorite gravestone

a gray tombstone with an etching of a woman on an older portable phone. the tombstone reads:"Jesus Called And Kim Answered".

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DJ Boozy Brunch @griph.bsky.social · 1d

a good “this is what twitter was for” thread was when someone pretty definitively and with evidence traced the etymology of “triscuit” to “electricity biscuit” because harnessable electricity was pretty new at the time and they were like futuristic crackers

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 7d

it's okay to have fun during spooky month even if you're having a whole spooky life

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 4d

party themes are getting too niche these days

a text to D saying "do you want to come to the urology holiday party"

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Andy Beckerman @andybeckerman.bsky.social · 9d

Wow, both Louis CK *and* Woody Allen have books out! It really feels like we're living through a literary renaissance! Wait, sorry, I get my words mixed up sometimes. I meant to say, it's like we're living through a Hieronymus Bosch painting of unaccountable humdrum pervs!

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cranny boy @crannyboy.bsky.social · 1d

It's going bald Sunday. Everybody lose your hair

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Flannel: Dead and Loving it @flanneloccluded.bsky.social · 1d

Asking the exhausted spirit Halloween employees wear they keep their chaste Halloween costumes

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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · Dec 11

costco should have a contest where the winner gets to shop on horseback

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