Paul F. Tompkins
@pftompkins.bsky.social
TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies
paulftompkins.com/live
paulftompkins.com/live
A few years ago I got to play a show at Cal Academy right by Claude’s enclosure and would like to retroactively consider it a performance FOR Claude
RIP Pale King
RIP Pale King
Claude the Albino Alligator Passes Away at Age 30
Beloved Academy icon will be dearly missed.
www.calacademy.org
December 2, 2025 at 11:36 PM
A few years ago I got to play a show at Cal Academy right by Claude’s enclosure and would like to retroactively consider it a performance FOR Claude
RIP Pale King
RIP Pale King
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Do these two interests intersect for you: humor podcasts and SOUTHERN CHARM on Bravo? Because me and @pftompkins.bsky.social got you COVERED! Latest podcast drop is here: open.substack.com/pub/weekendw...
December 2, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Do these two interests intersect for you: humor podcasts and SOUTHERN CHARM on Bravo? Because me and @pftompkins.bsky.social got you COVERED! Latest podcast drop is here: open.substack.com/pub/weekendw...
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Interesting how as the racial demographics of who died of ODs shifted to white people it went from "Darwin awards" and "Just say no" to "We need to murder every single person even approaching the united states that we suspect of having drugs".
Megyn Kelly on alleged war crimes: "I really do kind of not only wanna see them killed in the water, whether they're on the boat or in the water, but I'd really like to see them suffer. I would like Trump and Hegseth to make it last a long time so they lose a limb and bleed out."
December 2, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Interesting how as the racial demographics of who died of ODs shifted to white people it went from "Darwin awards" and "Just say no" to "We need to murder every single person even approaching the united states that we suspect of having drugs".
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
we did it!
Mark Cuban Says ‘It Became Pointless’ To Post On Bluesky Due To The Hate He Gets There
Mark Cuban Says 'It Became Pointless' To Post On Bluesky Due To The Hate He Gets There
Mark Cuban, the billionaire entrepreneur and longtime "Shark Tank" star, says he’s done posting on Bluesky for now, and the reason is simple: it’s not worth
offthefrontpage.com
December 2, 2025 at 8:07 PM
we did it!
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Adding alt text to this because this is fucking amazing and everyone deserves to read it.
December 2, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Adding alt text to this because this is fucking amazing and everyone deserves to read it.
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
HBOMax has started showing a 'remastered' 4K Mad Men and they’ve messed things up so during Roger’s oyster vomit scene you can now see the crew men with the vomit hose on the right
December 2, 2025 at 11:28 AM
HBOMax has started showing a 'remastered' 4K Mad Men and they’ve messed things up so during Roger’s oyster vomit scene you can now see the crew men with the vomit hose on the right
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
james cameron every couple of years for some reason:
December 2, 2025 at 7:05 AM
james cameron every couple of years for some reason:
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Yesterday Trump hung it on Hegseth and today he’s putting on some Admiral. And that’s why fascism is also funny.
December 2, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Yesterday Trump hung it on Hegseth and today he’s putting on some Admiral. And that’s why fascism is also funny.
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
every youtube comment on Oasis' Don't Look Back in Anger is like 'this was the favorite song of everyone in my family, and they're all dead and I played it at their funerals'
August 1, 2024 at 10:38 PM
every youtube comment on Oasis' Don't Look Back in Anger is like 'this was the favorite song of everyone in my family, and they're all dead and I played it at their funerals'
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
wife got a timer for all of our christmas lights so obviously thinking of this
December 2, 2025 at 1:29 AM
wife got a timer for all of our christmas lights so obviously thinking of this
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
is there like a summary of this lizza shit i can read instead of having to slog through it. like one written by a funny person maybe
December 1, 2025 at 9:41 PM
is there like a summary of this lizza shit i can read instead of having to slog through it. like one written by a funny person maybe
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
I'm finally fulfilling my dream of wasting my life posting every hand captured line of dialogue in silence of the lambs
December 1, 2025 at 5:38 AM
I'm finally fulfilling my dream of wasting my life posting every hand captured line of dialogue in silence of the lambs
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
I hope Thornton Wilder heard this one in Hell! @cbbworld.bsky.social
November 30, 2025 at 11:45 PM
I hope Thornton Wilder heard this one in Hell! @cbbworld.bsky.social
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
the fact that nick fuentes isn’t here but ms rachel is illustrates perfectly that groups like this don’t actually care about antisemitism at all
December 1, 2025 at 3:32 AM
the fact that nick fuentes isn’t here but ms rachel is illustrates perfectly that groups like this don’t actually care about antisemitism at all
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
It's not a foolproof plan but every political debate from now on should be a Normal Guy competition. Ask them to describe grocery shopping in detail. Talk about what it's like to have a friend
November 19, 2025 at 2:13 AM
It's not a foolproof plan but every political debate from now on should be a Normal Guy competition. Ask them to describe grocery shopping in detail. Talk about what it's like to have a friend
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
November 30, 2025 at 12:36 AM
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
If someone hits him with sugar next they’ll have cookies by the end of the week
France’s far-right leader hit by egg, days after flour attack
French far-right leader hit on the head with an egg
Jordan Bardella, leader of France’s far-right National Rally party, was hit on the head with an egg Saturday, just days after another incident in which a protester threw flour at him.
www.ctvnews.ca
November 30, 2025 at 12:40 AM
If someone hits him with sugar next they’ll have cookies by the end of the week
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
With his new comedy show and debut novel, is it time to let Louis C.K. force women to watch him masturbate again?
When a cancelled performer reënters the culture, we expect them to offer us a great work, channelling their newfound clarity into the finest art they’ve ever made. With his new comedy show and début novel, has Louis C.K. met the bar?
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
Louis C.K.’s Next Chapter
In a new standup special, and a début novel, the comedian navigates murky, post-#MeToo terrain: not quite exiled, not quite welcomed back.
www.newyorker.com
November 29, 2025 at 11:05 PM
With his new comedy show and debut novel, is it time to let Louis C.K. force women to watch him masturbate again?
I touched Jay Leno’s Tonight Show money
November 29, 2025 at 11:06 PM
I touched Jay Leno’s Tonight Show money
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
November 29, 2025 at 8:51 PM
"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
Coming home for the holidays means your mom wants to stream some period drama no one has ever heard of titled some shit like “The Pealing Bells of Melloncollie” and you better believe she’s gonna let you know Olivia Colman is in it
November 29, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Coming home for the holidays means your mom wants to stream some period drama no one has ever heard of titled some shit like “The Pealing Bells of Melloncollie” and you better believe she’s gonna let you know Olivia Colman is in it
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
hey does anyone want some shithead asshole's car for free? they never bothered getting plates and then crashed it into something, got a parking violation, and then moved it to my house, come get it
November 29, 2025 at 4:04 PM
hey does anyone want some shithead asshole's car for free? they never bothered getting plates and then crashed it into something, got a parking violation, and then moved it to my house, come get it
Reposted by Paul F. Tompkins
every day logging on is a race to get a dumb joke off before you read the most terrifying news you’ve ever heard
November 29, 2025 at 4:39 PM
every day logging on is a race to get a dumb joke off before you read the most terrifying news you’ve ever heard