Viktor Winetrout
@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Contributor: @theonion.com
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Pinned
When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again. Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
This Friday November 15th, come see me at the Groundlings! I know, short notice, but this is gonna be a great show with a gang of awesome improvisers from the Groundlings school!
Directed by Harmony McElligott
Hilarity will abound!
groundlings.com/shows/spn
Directed by Harmony McElligott
Hilarity will abound!
groundlings.com/shows/spn
November 12, 2025 at 2:26 AM
This Friday November 15th, come see me at the Groundlings! I know, short notice, but this is gonna be a great show with a gang of awesome improvisers from the Groundlings school!
Directed by Harmony McElligott
Hilarity will abound!
groundlings.com/shows/spn
Directed by Harmony McElligott
Hilarity will abound!
groundlings.com/shows/spn
Got arrested for punching a mime and the judge sentenced me to six months of community theater
November 11, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Got arrested for punching a mime and the judge sentenced me to six months of community theater
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 9, 2025 at 3:10 PM
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
my wife and i saw you from across the bar and were wondering if you always chew your food like that
August 8, 2024 at 8:20 PM
my wife and i saw you from across the bar and were wondering if you always chew your food like that
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Oooo I’m Death. I'm a mean skeleton with a fancy sword. Fuck off, bone boy
November 11, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Oooo I’m Death. I'm a mean skeleton with a fancy sword. Fuck off, bone boy
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
November 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
November 9, 2025 at 5:44 AM
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Huge thanks to everyone who has donated wood to our woodchuck enclosure. We have reached an undetermined percentage of our goal.
November 4, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Huge thanks to everyone who has donated wood to our woodchuck enclosure. We have reached an undetermined percentage of our goal.
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
The soup of the day is heartbreak.
October 29, 2025 at 3:08 AM
The soup of the day is heartbreak.
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
[walking into the orgy wearing my Mr. Potato Head costume] It’s fuck time
December 22, 2024 at 3:26 AM
[walking into the orgy wearing my Mr. Potato Head costume] It’s fuck time
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag
November 8, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
November 9, 2025 at 5:44 AM
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
I love that the Boston cop slide never got fixed and now people just willingly go down it in tribute. It’s basically a national landmark at this point
November 8, 2025 at 6:15 AM
I love that the Boston cop slide never got fixed and now people just willingly go down it in tribute. It’s basically a national landmark at this point
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
*outside during a terrible lightning storm, holding a giant turkey leg up to sky and screaming for God to cook it (if he dares)*
January 13, 2025 at 5:48 PM
*outside during a terrible lightning storm, holding a giant turkey leg up to sky and screaming for God to cook it (if he dares)*
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Everyone on this plane is mad about my therapy scorpion
January 3, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Everyone on this plane is mad about my therapy scorpion
Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
November 8, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Der Sechsjährige ist gerade auf mich nicht gut zu sprechen und aus Groll baut er mir jetzt "Blödmaschinen" aus Lego, die ganz besonders nutzlos und hässlich sind.
November 8, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Der Sechsjährige ist gerade auf mich nicht gut zu sprechen und aus Groll baut er mir jetzt "Blödmaschinen" aus Lego, die ganz besonders nutzlos und hässlich sind.
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
I’m not a huge fan of pokémon or anything but yeah I would eat a pikachu
November 7, 2025 at 12:18 PM
I’m not a huge fan of pokémon or anything but yeah I would eat a pikachu
We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t start a squirt gun fight with the secret service??
November 8, 2025 at 5:37 AM
We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t start a squirt gun fight with the secret service??
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
I never wash my jeans in case I need to make soup.
October 2, 2024 at 6:16 PM
I never wash my jeans in case I need to make soup.
Just put the potato costume on and let me squirt ketchup on you. Don’t make this weird
November 8, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Just put the potato costume on and let me squirt ketchup on you. Don’t make this weird
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit
September 26, 2025 at 12:40 PM
[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit