Van Weasel
@vanweezer.bsky.social
Terminally online. Photography posted is mine, if not I'll attribute it.
Pronouns: any/all
Pronouns: any/all
Pinned
I wrote this in April 2020.
I’m Fine
There are no innocuous questions anymore. “How are you today?” a cashier asked me. “I’m fine,” I said out loud to myself. Before the virus this interaction was the polite way to respond without saying anything. People with depression, trauma, or stress could
I’m Fine
There are no innocuous questions anymore. “How are you today?” a cashier asked me. “I’m fine,” I said out loud to myself. Before the virus this interaction was the polite way to respond without saying anything. People with depression, trauma, or stress could
It really feels like I'm posting into the void more than normal lately. So many old voices are gone now
December 4, 2025 at 1:38 PM
It really feels like I'm posting into the void more than normal lately. So many old voices are gone now
This is praxis
War crimes are gross. That's why I call them Gwar crimes
December 4, 2025 at 1:34 PM
This is praxis
War crimes are gross. That's why I call them Gwar crimes
December 4, 2025 at 12:58 PM
War crimes are gross. That's why I call them Gwar crimes
Reposted by Van Weasel
Reposted by Van Weasel
Someone finally tied it all together.
December 4, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Someone finally tied it all together.
Reposted by Van Weasel
my Slack wrapped says that I only sent 12 messages that gave HR cause for concern this year
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
December 4, 2025 at 12:20 PM
my Slack wrapped says that I only sent 12 messages that gave HR cause for concern this year
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
all 12 said “I am going to kill myself on this Zoom meeting”
Reposted by Van Weasel
Twas the day before Christmas and all through the house, I was fartin and shidden like I was a mouse
December 24, 2024 at 12:43 PM
Twas the day before Christmas and all through the house, I was fartin and shidden like I was a mouse
Sometimes I don't think, as a site, we're even manifesting the one thing to happen anymore and that's sad
December 4, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Sometimes I don't think, as a site, we're even manifesting the one thing to happen anymore and that's sad
Reposted by Van Weasel
When you use the app in night mode you should only get notifications when you're asleep
December 4, 2025 at 4:50 AM
When you use the app in night mode you should only get notifications when you're asleep
When you use the app in night mode you should only get notifications when you're asleep
December 4, 2025 at 4:50 AM
When you use the app in night mode you should only get notifications when you're asleep
Reposted by Van Weasel
jim henson, whispering as he shoves his arm up kermit’s mupussy: you little slut
December 4, 2025 at 3:45 AM
jim henson, whispering as he shoves his arm up kermit’s mupussy: you little slut
Reposted by Van Weasel
It's time to get into the spirit of Christmas!
If I must be burdened by the knowledge of this abomination's existence, then so must you.
If I must be burdened by the knowledge of this abomination's existence, then so must you.
December 19, 2023 at 11:06 PM
It's time to get into the spirit of Christmas!
If I must be burdened by the knowledge of this abomination's existence, then so must you.
If I must be burdened by the knowledge of this abomination's existence, then so must you.
Reposted by Van Weasel
I can't wait until it's Grinch Fleshlight season again
April 30, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I can't wait until it's Grinch Fleshlight season again
Reposted by Van Weasel
The first guy to cook with parsley was bullied as a child for eating the fish food at the dentist
December 2, 2025 at 11:57 PM
The first guy to cook with parsley was bullied as a child for eating the fish food at the dentist
Reposted by Van Weasel
I hope the mad man who kills me in a chatgpt induced psychotic break at least made it about some really goofy prompt
December 3, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I hope the mad man who kills me in a chatgpt induced psychotic break at least made it about some really goofy prompt
Reposted by Van Weasel
🚨 BREAKING🚨 retailers report that discretionary spending is way down. They remind shoppers that giving me attention and affection is on sale and exempt from tariffs
December 3, 2025 at 10:41 PM
🚨 BREAKING🚨 retailers report that discretionary spending is way down. They remind shoppers that giving me attention and affection is on sale and exempt from tariffs
Reposted by Van Weasel
Homestar/TMBG collabo shirt. TMBGshop. It’s dot com!
December 4, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Homestar/TMBG collabo shirt. TMBGshop. It’s dot com!
Reposted by Van Weasel
Postcard from my collection, no date.
December 4, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Postcard from my collection, no date.
Reposted by Van Weasel
how is this real
December 4, 2025 at 1:58 AM
how is this real
I had to look up Hinckley's birthday to be sure @theonion.com wasn't too based...
December 4, 2025 at 1:50 AM
I had to look up Hinckley's birthday to be sure @theonion.com wasn't too based...
Reposted by Van Weasel
Reposted by Van Weasel
Reposted by Van Weasel
My brother said some pretty heinous things about The Prestige while I was home, and I’m still a little wounded about it.
Ok, I have to ask. What's a movie that if someone doesn't like you'll hate them?
December 4, 2025 at 1:00 AM
My brother said some pretty heinous things about The Prestige while I was home, and I’m still a little wounded about it.
Reposted by Van Weasel
I don’t know about “hate,” but if you don’t appreciate Gremlins 2, I have serious questions about our ability to be friends.
Ok, I have to ask. What's a movie that if someone doesn't like you'll hate them?
December 4, 2025 at 12:59 AM
I don’t know about “hate,” but if you don’t appreciate Gremlins 2, I have serious questions about our ability to be friends.
Reposted by Van Weasel
If you dont like moonlight, i am suspicious of you.
Ok, I have to ask. What's a movie that if someone doesn't like you'll hate them?
December 4, 2025 at 12:47 AM
If you dont like moonlight, i am suspicious of you.