🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
@vanweezer.bsky.social
Terminally online. Photography posted is mine, if not I'll attribute it.
Pronouns: any/all
Pronouns: any/all
Pinned
I wrote this in April 2020.
I’m Fine
There are no innocuous questions anymore. “How are you today?” a cashier asked me. “I’m fine,” I said out loud to myself. Before the virus this interaction was the polite way to respond without saying anything. People with depression, trauma, or stress could
I’m Fine
There are no innocuous questions anymore. “How are you today?” a cashier asked me. “I’m fine,” I said out loud to myself. Before the virus this interaction was the polite way to respond without saying anything. People with depression, trauma, or stress could
Trying to rewrite we didn't start the fire to today's news and struggling to figure out where to put, "woke fonts"
December 10, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Trying to rewrite we didn't start the fire to today's news and struggling to figure out where to put, "woke fonts"
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
At work just now:
Coworker: so all dogs go to heaven right?
Me: no.
Coworker: what do you mean no?
Me: some dogs are cops
Boss: (under breath) oh my god
Coworker: so all dogs go to heaven right?
Me: no.
Coworker: what do you mean no?
Me: some dogs are cops
Boss: (under breath) oh my god
October 31, 2023 at 9:01 PM
At work just now:
Coworker: so all dogs go to heaven right?
Me: no.
Coworker: what do you mean no?
Me: some dogs are cops
Boss: (under breath) oh my god
Coworker: so all dogs go to heaven right?
Me: no.
Coworker: what do you mean no?
Me: some dogs are cops
Boss: (under breath) oh my god
Movies I need to see:
No country for old men
Killers of the flower moon
One battle after another
No country for old men
Killers of the flower moon
One battle after another
December 10, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Movies I need to see:
No country for old men
Killers of the flower moon
One battle after another
No country for old men
Killers of the flower moon
One battle after another
Kill the elf on the shelf in your head
December 10, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Kill the elf on the shelf in your head
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Welp, looks like we're teaching the LinkedIn grindset people what The Onion is the hard way.
December 10, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Welp, looks like we're teaching the LinkedIn grindset people what The Onion is the hard way.
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
forgot jordan peterson's name
December 10, 2025 at 3:51 PM
forgot jordan peterson's name
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
December 1, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
congratulations! you have been awarded one (1) post deletion gift voucher. simply attach this image with alt text ("gift voucher for one post deletion") under the post you'd like to delete. terms and conditions apply.
December 10, 2025 at 2:42 PM
congratulations! you have been awarded one (1) post deletion gift voucher. simply attach this image with alt text ("gift voucher for one post deletion") under the post you'd like to delete. terms and conditions apply.
In the process of correcting my mental perception of myself to allow for compliments to not be rejected outright
December 10, 2025 at 2:51 PM
In the process of correcting my mental perception of myself to allow for compliments to not be rejected outright
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Realized I never said "unquote" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare
May 18, 2023 at 3:18 PM
Realized I never said "unquote" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
i used chatgpt to raise my baby and in their first year they tried to kill me eleven times
December 9, 2025 at 4:40 PM
i used chatgpt to raise my baby and in their first year they tried to kill me eleven times
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Touching grass isn't enough. I want to pet pelican
November 15, 2024 at 3:51 PM
Touching grass isn't enough. I want to pet pelican
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Guys we aren't off to a good start my schedule got fucked up and my managers are on my ass
December 10, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Guys we aren't off to a good start my schedule got fucked up and my managers are on my ass
Someone got fired for not logging his drive time and then he stole the truck lol
December 10, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Someone got fired for not logging his drive time and then he stole the truck lol
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
the year is 2025. sam altman is asking chatgpt why his 25 day old child won't talk to him
the year is 2050. sam altman is asking chatgpt why his 25 year old child won't talk to him
the year is 2075. on his deathbed, sam altman is asking the chatgpt implant in his head why hi-
the year is 2050. sam altman is asking chatgpt why his 25 year old child won't talk to him
the year is 2075. on his deathbed, sam altman is asking the chatgpt implant in his head why hi-
December 9, 2025 at 7:48 PM
the year is 2025. sam altman is asking chatgpt why his 25 day old child won't talk to him
the year is 2050. sam altman is asking chatgpt why his 25 year old child won't talk to him
the year is 2075. on his deathbed, sam altman is asking the chatgpt implant in his head why hi-
the year is 2050. sam altman is asking chatgpt why his 25 year old child won't talk to him
the year is 2075. on his deathbed, sam altman is asking the chatgpt implant in his head why hi-
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Actual photo of me thinking that the food couldn't possibly be *that* spicy.
December 10, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Actual photo of me thinking that the food couldn't possibly be *that* spicy.
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
That insane AI video of Terminator Charlie Kirk and Hitler Alex Jones fly to Valhalla where they are greeted by Hulk Hogan, Yakub, White Kash Patel, and Kronenbergesque JD Vance as pope
how do u even compete with this level of propaganda. and why tf do these vril guys love tatu so much
December 10, 2025 at 2:12 AM
That insane AI video of Terminator Charlie Kirk and Hitler Alex Jones fly to Valhalla where they are greeted by Hulk Hogan, Yakub, White Kash Patel, and Kronenbergesque JD Vance as pope
Unlike you, I get my news from a reliable source
December 10, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Unlike you, I get my news from a reliable source
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
Do all you intrepid skeeters know that John Wayne was killed by an atomic bomb?
July 9, 2023 at 10:44 PM
Do all you intrepid skeeters know that John Wayne was killed by an atomic bomb?
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
This Christmas, I gave you my fart...
December 9, 2025 at 12:20 PM
This Christmas, I gave you my fart...
Reposted by 🎙️👄Van Wassailing 👄🎙️
