Van Weasel
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vanweezer.bsky.social
Van Weasel
@vanweezer.bsky.social
5.1K followers 820 following 36K posts
Terminally online. Photography posted is mine, if not I'll attribute it.

Pronouns: any/all
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vanweezer.bsky.social
Literally one of my earliest memories is watching Robocop and the scene of Murphy getting killed
December 8, 2025 at 2:09 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
I have this saved on my phone for a reason lol
A meme picturing a car driving on the highway. It's at an exit lane. The green sign overhead indicates that going straight is for "protecting my mental state" and exciting is labeled "learning cursed Internet lore about freaks telling on themselves" the car in the image is a blue four door sedan that is in the middle of a sick burn out skid it's doing in order to make the exit at the last moment. It's labeled "me"
December 7, 2025 at 2:01 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Ok, NW 📽️
Movie poster for the film Everything everywhere all at once (2022). The cast are centered and striking Kung Fu poses in front of a red fiery Smokey background
December 6, 2025 at 12:16 AM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Portrait of Mao Zedong with the caption LMAO
December 5, 2025 at 11:31 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Cupo of gsrlic costs extra
Food order receipt that shows a gyro wrap meal with falafel and fries and a cupo of gsrlic
December 5, 2025 at 11:04 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Emoji mashup of the exhausted, tired eyes, face and the hard sigh face
December 5, 2025 at 2:57 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
And the answer is no...
From an internet article about the safety of feeding cats minnows, "Live and Raw Minnows: Cat owners should avoid giving their cats live or raw minnows because minnows contain an enzyme known as thiaminase. This enzyme deactivates thiamine, an important B-vitamin in your cat’s body. Prolonged thiamine deficiency has detrimental effects for your cat’s health."
December 4, 2025 at 3:32 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
I got caught trying to take the same picture
Tin tin, a white short hair cat with a couple black spots and black tail sits on a pillow. He's sitting on his but with his hind legs splayed out while he was bending over to lick his crotch. He looked up at me right as I took the picture and has an annoyed expression
December 4, 2025 at 2:17 AM
vanweezer.bsky.social
I had to look up Hinckley's birthday to be sure @theonion.com wasn't too based...
Paper copy of the Onion newspaper. The horoscope section. The one the post is about is Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) "despite previously recorded failed attempts, don't give up your dreams of impressing Jodie Foster" Below that Cancer is also readable. It says, "To the Victor go the spoils; beating up your mailman entitles you to everyone's mail"
December 4, 2025 at 1:50 AM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Ok, I have to ask. What's a movie that if someone doesn't like you'll hate them?
John Waters review of the movie Eddington, "My favorite movie of the year is a disagreeable but highly entertaining tale is exhausting as today's politics with characters nobody could possibly root for. And it's so terrifyingly funny and confusingly chaste and kinky that you'll feel coo-coo crazy and oh-so-cultural after watching. If you don't like this film, I hate you." The last line is highlighted for emphasis
December 3, 2025 at 9:55 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
I don't think that's right 🤔
Calculator app results: 24362.2936576889661 24363 and 338/1151 remaining
December 3, 2025 at 12:39 AM
vanweezer.bsky.social
No monkeys, only flying cat
December 2, 2025 at 12:45 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Screenshot of a skeet from user @geraldinepiche.bsky.social : These cunts be replying like shutting up costs money.
December 2, 2025 at 12:08 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
2025 was the year I became King of the reply guys
2025 Bluesky recap stats from some new deal going around. It shows I had 35,641 posts (978% above average) and 28,014 replies (1,151% above average). The two other stats shown are stand alone posts (do the math) and threads which was only 361% above average (647)
December 1, 2025 at 10:56 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
I can bring you some of my extra...
Some patio chairs covered in about a foot of snow
November 30, 2025 at 3:14 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Think I'll stay in bed a little longer
November 29, 2025 at 1:44 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
The reason: made a lightbox for less than $20 (light clamps not included). Then I taught my daughter to use it. She took this photo
A small wooden music box. The outside is dark brown with a light brown repeating pattern engraved into it. The lid of the box flips up and shows a still image from the film My Neighbor Totoro (1988). It shows the girls and Totoro sitting on a tree branch over a river. They are fishing from the branch. Inside the box you can see the music mechanism along with the hand crank. The photo is highly detailed and close up. There's a white fabric holding the box up on a white background. There are nearly no shadows cast because of the lighting setup
November 29, 2025 at 2:57 AM
vanweezer.bsky.social
I think this is my next big thrift store find
Changing room selfie. I've got a light brown knit sweater that has various patterns knit into bands above the chest. The neck is kind of like a loose semi turtle neck style? I don't know what it is called or how else to describe it.
November 28, 2025 at 9:26 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Posting hole:
A close up photo of the mouth of a large sticker fish stuck to a glass wall at the Shed Aquarium. You can see a bunch of little brush-like structures and a black hole down into its gullet.
November 28, 2025 at 1:11 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
You'll never believe these chips I just found in the pantry
Me holding a small jar of French's crispy fried onions
November 28, 2025 at 1:00 AM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Tired of always having turkey as a main course this thanksgiving? Try spicing things up...
A small table with thanksgiving food served on it. A pie, some cranberry sauce, and in the center a large roasted turkey sitting on a roasting tray. There are crab legs poking out from underneath like a monster from The Thing (1982). The cavity has its own stuffing: octopus tentacles
November 27, 2025 at 5:55 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Why does he sleep like this?
Tuxedo Max, a portly tuxedo colored short hair cat laying on top of some knit blankets on a couch. He's curled up and twisted around such that his body looks like a crescent moon with his belly up. Head upside down. Legs straight out
November 27, 2025 at 5:35 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
My kitchen towel has advice
A kitchen towel that features a red, horned, devil sitting on a large wedge of cheese at a rural crossroads. He's holding a plate with more cheese on it. Text reads: "hey, have you tried cheese?"
November 27, 2025 at 5:08 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Congrats Beegan!
Emoji mashup showing a bee surrounded by pink hearts
November 26, 2025 at 10:20 PM
vanweezer.bsky.social
Kermit the frog riding a tiny electric scooter to the left of the frame. The caption, "line was too long"
November 26, 2025 at 7:44 PM