Matty
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bestestname.bsky.social
Matty
@bestestname.bsky.social
9K followers 1.4K following 2K posts
Bluesky is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:n3kxj4fonot7lg67tmakj4dn/feed/aaacgs3xfjaw4
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bestestname.bsky.social
Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · Jun 11
Would be endlessly helpful if everyone got their name tattooed on their face
Reposted by Matty
uncleduke1969.bsky.social
I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
A person sits in a subway car, dressed as a Christmas tree.
December 7, 2025 at 2:46 PM
bestestname.bsky.social
My son is surprised our basketball arena was built in 1996 because, "it looks so modern"
December 5, 2025 at 10:30 PM
bestestname.bsky.social
I don't care what she says, if all you get her for Christmas is you, she's going to be pissed
December 5, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Reposted by Matty
funkelly.bsky.social
last christmas i gave you my heart, this christmas im a zombie
December 4, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Reposted by Matty
itsabbyyep.bsky.social
Step on a crack, the boys in town are back
December 4, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Reposted by Matty
benedictsred.bsky.social
I’m no longer religious, but any time I spill something I will stop to see if there’s a face in it
December 4, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Reposted by Matty
daddyjew.bsky.social
my stripper name is "for god's sake, put some clothes on”
December 4, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Reposted by Matty
im-all-id.me
Didn't need spotify telling me I'm an ancient boring piece of shit today
December 4, 2025 at 2:51 AM
bestestname.bsky.social
The world is full of weird air fresheners
December 4, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Reposted by Matty
jcsalterego.bsky.social
opening a fine cigar box to reveal mozzarella sticks
December 4, 2025 at 1:49 AM
bestestname.bsky.social
Do muggers even take venmo?
December 4, 2025 at 1:06 AM
bestestname.bsky.social
I don't think I care how Strange the Things are anymore
December 3, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Reposted by Matty
daddyjew.bsky.social
looking back, i didn’t find Waldo. Waldo found me
December 3, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Reposted by Matty
frovo.bsky.social
me explaining moby dick even though i only know the first sentence: ishmael is just his nickname his real name is moby dick
December 3, 2025 at 4:49 AM
bestestname.bsky.social
This beer tastes like this is the best taco ever
December 3, 2025 at 2:10 AM
bestestname.bsky.social
There should be a special, separate rating for movies where the dog dies
December 3, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Reposted by Matty
im-all-id.me
Oh to be a goose shitting everywhere honking at anything that comes near me
December 3, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Reposted by Matty
invisihole.bsky.social
HAS ANYONE CHECKED ON CARMEN SANDIEGO????
December 3, 2025 at 1:21 AM
bestestname.bsky.social
Someone at the gym said I had good form, and I think we are dating now
December 2, 2025 at 8:09 PM
bestestname.bsky.social
The day you realize you can just eat the seeds is the day your life begins
December 2, 2025 at 6:18 PM
bestestname.bsky.social
The secret to looking good is to just be 22
December 2, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Reposted by Matty
kellalena.bsky.social
Mirror mirror on the wall why did I walk into this room?
December 2, 2025 at 4:52 PM
bestestname.bsky.social
It's Mariah Carrey season out there. Check on your friends
December 1, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Reposted by Matty
daddyjew.bsky.social
you lost me at figgy but brought me right back with pudding
December 1, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Reposted by Matty
jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
December 1, 2025 at 6:49 PM