DaddyJew
@daddyjew.bsky.social
Pinned
The Diary of a Wimpy Bitch Ass President
nearly broke my back tryna put them horses in the stable
December 7, 2025 at 6:12 AM
nearly broke my back tryna put them horses in the stable
Sorry to cause a commotion. I meant to cause a motherfuckin riot
December 7, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Sorry to cause a commotion. I meant to cause a motherfuckin riot
Reposted by DaddyJew
i just want to know what songs you're made of
December 6, 2025 at 10:08 PM
i just want to know what songs you're made of
once upon a time i gave a shit, but it was a while ago, and it was in a diaper, and my mom threw it out
December 6, 2025 at 10:39 PM
once upon a time i gave a shit, but it was a while ago, and it was in a diaper, and my mom threw it out
Reposted by DaddyJew
what if instead of stepping out of my comfort zone I step into an even comfier zone. perhaps take a nap in a large fluffy dinner roll.
December 3, 2025 at 11:13 PM
what if instead of stepping out of my comfort zone I step into an even comfier zone. perhaps take a nap in a large fluffy dinner roll.
they should make a leaf blower strong enough to blow away all the ugly stuff in your neighbors yard
December 6, 2025 at 6:44 PM
they should make a leaf blower strong enough to blow away all the ugly stuff in your neighbors yard
Reposted by DaddyJew
day 2468 of hitting the pizza button on the microwave and still no pizza
December 6, 2025 at 5:21 PM
day 2468 of hitting the pizza button on the microwave and still no pizza
Reposted by DaddyJew
Aah France. I love France. The Eiffel Tower, the Riviera, the vineyards, the fields of baguettes, the cigarette trees.
December 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Aah France. I love France. The Eiffel Tower, the Riviera, the vineyards, the fields of baguettes, the cigarette trees.
Reposted by DaddyJew
"It's a very respected peace prize."
December 5, 2025 at 6:45 PM
"It's a very respected peace prize."
Reposted by DaddyJew
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
December 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
Reposted by DaddyJew
Now here’s a little ditty I like to call
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
December 3, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Now here’s a little ditty I like to call
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
Reposted by DaddyJew
i retold your joke but worse, please respond
December 6, 2025 at 4:13 PM
i retold your joke but worse, please respond
Reposted by DaddyJew
I do like you. I just don't trust you. Nothing personal.
December 6, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I do like you. I just don't trust you. Nothing personal.
Reposted by DaddyJew
*pretty girl approaches
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude
November 25, 2024 at 4:49 PM
*pretty girl approaches
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude
Reposted by DaddyJew
Starbucks: what will it be?
Me: *whispering* vanilla bean frappuccino
*white girls begin emerging from the sewers* one of us, one of us, one of us
Me: *whispering* vanilla bean frappuccino
*white girls begin emerging from the sewers* one of us, one of us, one of us
July 24, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Starbucks: what will it be?
Me: *whispering* vanilla bean frappuccino
*white girls begin emerging from the sewers* one of us, one of us, one of us
Me: *whispering* vanilla bean frappuccino
*white girls begin emerging from the sewers* one of us, one of us, one of us
Reposted by DaddyJew
Mirror mirror on the wall why did I walk into this room?
December 2, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Mirror mirror on the wall why did I walk into this room?
Reposted by DaddyJew
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
December 6, 2025 at 6:05 AM
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
Reposted by DaddyJew
Panic! In the Parking Garage
December 5, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Panic! In the Parking Garage
Reposted by DaddyJew
Trump's mental decline mirrors the mental decline of the people who vote for him.
December 6, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Trump's mental decline mirrors the mental decline of the people who vote for him.
Reposted by DaddyJew
This is my squirrel. There aren't many like it so this one IS MINE!
December 6, 2025 at 12:43 PM
This is my squirrel. There aren't many like it so this one IS MINE!
Reposted by DaddyJew
the hills are alive with the sound of fuck this shit
April 16, 2025 at 10:59 AM
the hills are alive with the sound of fuck this shit
Reposted by DaddyJew
Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be sarcastic…
December 5, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be sarcastic…
Reposted by DaddyJew
bluesky profiles should tell you whether or not someone is going to ask to see your feet immediately after you follow them
December 6, 2025 at 3:32 PM
bluesky profiles should tell you whether or not someone is going to ask to see your feet immediately after you follow them
Reposted by DaddyJew
It is with a full heart and belly that I gladly accept this prestigious Dunkin Donut Peace Prize and hash brown
im honored to accept this Wawa Peace Prize
December 6, 2025 at 3:57 PM
It is with a full heart and belly that I gladly accept this prestigious Dunkin Donut Peace Prize and hash brown