DaddyJew
@daddyjew.bsky.social
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The Diary of a Wimpy Bitch Ass President
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i know what you did not do last summer. you did not clean out the garage like i asked.
December 6, 2025 at 4:07 PM
i know what you did not do last summer. you did not clean out the garage like i asked.
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I hate men but I love dick. It’s like craving water from a poisoned well.
December 6, 2025 at 5:25 PM
I hate men but I love dick. It’s like craving water from a poisoned well.
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Being an adult is so hard. I’m supposed to sit on Santa’s lap and ask for a large breasted goth woman? Doesn’t feel right.
December 7, 2025 at 8:31 AM
Being an adult is so hard. I’m supposed to sit on Santa’s lap and ask for a large breasted goth woman? Doesn’t feel right.
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“I’m out on a day pass and have a curfew,” I flirted.
December 6, 2025 at 10:21 PM
“I’m out on a day pass and have a curfew,” I flirted.
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i could draw a sideways eight forever
December 7, 2025 at 3:49 PM
i could draw a sideways eight forever
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at the bank withdrawing money off the secret menu
December 7, 2025 at 5:59 AM
at the bank withdrawing money off the secret menu
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Get in loser, we're losers. This is the loser bus
December 6, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Get in loser, we're losers. This is the loser bus
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Don't watch me break down a cardboard box unless you want to fall in love with me
December 7, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Don't watch me break down a cardboard box unless you want to fall in love with me
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Sometimes I’ll listen to opera while watching The Three Stooges on mute for the full effect
December 6, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Sometimes I’ll listen to opera while watching The Three Stooges on mute for the full effect
eating weed gummies around the house like im taking molly in the club
December 7, 2025 at 12:51 PM
eating weed gummies around the house like im taking molly in the club
nearly broke my back tryna put them horses in the stable
December 7, 2025 at 6:12 AM
nearly broke my back tryna put them horses in the stable
Sorry to cause a commotion. I meant to cause a motherfuckin riot
December 7, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Sorry to cause a commotion. I meant to cause a motherfuckin riot
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i just want to know what songs you're made of
December 6, 2025 at 10:08 PM
i just want to know what songs you're made of
once upon a time i gave a shit, but it was a while ago, and it was in a diaper, and my mom threw it out
December 6, 2025 at 10:39 PM
once upon a time i gave a shit, but it was a while ago, and it was in a diaper, and my mom threw it out
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what if instead of stepping out of my comfort zone I step into an even comfier zone. perhaps take a nap in a large fluffy dinner roll.
December 3, 2025 at 11:13 PM
what if instead of stepping out of my comfort zone I step into an even comfier zone. perhaps take a nap in a large fluffy dinner roll.
they should make a leaf blower strong enough to blow away all the ugly stuff in your neighbors yard
December 6, 2025 at 6:44 PM
they should make a leaf blower strong enough to blow away all the ugly stuff in your neighbors yard
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day 2468 of hitting the pizza button on the microwave and still no pizza
December 6, 2025 at 5:21 PM
day 2468 of hitting the pizza button on the microwave and still no pizza
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Aah France. I love France. The Eiffel Tower, the Riviera, the vineyards, the fields of baguettes, the cigarette trees.
December 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Aah France. I love France. The Eiffel Tower, the Riviera, the vineyards, the fields of baguettes, the cigarette trees.
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"It's a very respected peace prize."
December 5, 2025 at 6:45 PM
"It's a very respected peace prize."
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has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
December 5, 2025 at 9:38 PM
has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane
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Now here’s a little ditty I like to call
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
December 3, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Now here’s a little ditty I like to call
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA !
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i retold your joke but worse, please respond
December 6, 2025 at 4:13 PM
i retold your joke but worse, please respond
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I do like you. I just don't trust you. Nothing personal.
December 6, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I do like you. I just don't trust you. Nothing personal.
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*pretty girl approaches
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude
November 25, 2024 at 4:49 PM
*pretty girl approaches
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude
Brain: stay calm bro, you can do this
Her: hi
Me: I like jelly beans
Brain: what in the actual fuck dude