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DaddyJew

@daddyjew.bsky.social

11K followers 650 following 4K posts

Bangers https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaal2ybjpxkkq Mash https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaal2qxgwlhfc Fresh Tots https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaajknw6kxutk

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2d

Coworker: is this AI? *shows me a video of MLK issuing the Stone Cold Stunner to The Undertaker before flicking him off*

Me: no, that happened

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Tiki Moon🌙 @tikimoon.bsky.social · 2h

It’s just a misdemeanor, Charlie Brown.

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

Put the Gun Down Charlie Brown

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 9d

she was the Cheech to my Chong

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · Mar 19

It’s ok, that’s just my artisanal breakfast blunt officer

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🎃⸘uʍoɹᗺ ɐpᴉᗭ‽👻 @didabrown.bsky.social · 19h

a man says just when i thought i was out in a kitchen

Alt: just when i thought i was out they pull me back in

media.tenor.com

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 22h

all of my friends are strangers on the internet

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 10d

no more current events, please

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 23h

*watching son play Minecraft*

Me: why does that grave say Daddy?

Son: that's a different Daddy, you don't know him

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 23h

the first hour of the day and the last hour of the day i am at my dumbest

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 1d

They should've known shitposters are social butterflies.

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 2d

Hey guys please stop calling my girlfriend a “hallucination”

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 23h

just when i think Bluesky place is dead, y’all come back to life

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 1d

Alexa, did they ever find out what was eating that Gilbert Grape fella

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 1d

*crawls into bed late at night and whispers those 8 special words "you’re on my side of the fucking bed"

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 1d

One great thing about having a chest wound is you can walk around with a real "what are ya gonna do to me, stab me in the chest?" attitude. I'm just here to remind you that one can have two chest wounds, so you may wanna say,"What are you gonna do to me, stab me in the chest TWICE?"

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 3d

Rob! Rob, it’s Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Zombie!

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 1d

the worst part of people moving to mastodon is that now i have to post to both platforms and do math to know if it was a banger

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Kat Alderson 🎉 @klaybourne.bsky.social · 2d

me, when someone brings anything political into replies or quotes on a non-political posts

a man with a ring on his finger is clapping

Alt: The late, great James Gandolfini in his role as Tony Soprano, giving the chin flick gesture (a definitive fuck off gesture in New Jersey).

media.tenor.com

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · Feb 25

6: can i have ice cream?

Me: is your room clean?

6: if I clean it can I have ice cream?

Me: sure

6: *looks at room* thats ok, I dont need ice cream