Lizzy
@stonedeva.bsky.social
crocs enthusiast, cat lady
my posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ijujbu5ofcdsm7sjabbd3eyj/feed/aaab2wtyqravy
my posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ijujbu5ofcdsm7sjabbd3eyj/feed/aaab2wtyqravy
Pinned
Lizzy
@stonedeva.bsky.social
· Dec 9
How the Grinch stole your catalytic converter then hawked it for meth in order to start an assisted living facility not covered by Medicare
Reposted by Lizzy
clean the blades on your ceiling fan, slob
December 7, 2025 at 3:55 AM
clean the blades on your ceiling fan, slob
Reposted by Lizzy
i can’t stop picturing a scenario where stevie nicks watches the scene where gandalf jumps onto an eagle and she gets soooo fucking jelly
December 7, 2025 at 12:47 AM
i can’t stop picturing a scenario where stevie nicks watches the scene where gandalf jumps onto an eagle and she gets soooo fucking jelly
Reposted by Lizzy
Ruin a song by changing the lyrics.
"Got a black magic marker.."
"Got a black magic marker.."
Ruin a song by changing the lyrics.
"...wish you were there..."
"...wish you were there..."
Ruin a song by changing the lyrics.
I wanna hold your gland🎵
I wanna hold your gland🎵
December 6, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Ruin a song by changing the lyrics.
"Got a black magic marker.."
"Got a black magic marker.."
Reposted by Lizzy
All I want for Christmas is a manwich and maybe eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
December 6, 2025 at 3:52 PM
All I want for Christmas is a manwich and maybe eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Reposted by Lizzy
Hey, I'm just trying to make the Internet a better place one shitpost at a time.
December 6, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Hey, I'm just trying to make the Internet a better place one shitpost at a time.
Reposted by Lizzy
Me to baby: say MA-MA
Baby: *dolphin noises*
Baby: *dolphin noises*
November 21, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Me to baby: say MA-MA
Baby: *dolphin noises*
Baby: *dolphin noises*
Reposted by Lizzy
Tire stores are the new coffee shops. Free WiFi, free coffee. Bank loans for tires. One stop.
December 6, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Tire stores are the new coffee shops. Free WiFi, free coffee. Bank loans for tires. One stop.
Reposted by Lizzy
Who wants to kiss under the cameltoe instead?
December 2, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Who wants to kiss under the cameltoe instead?
Reposted by Lizzy
working for the man but the man is a woman and the woman is a cat
December 5, 2025 at 11:04 PM
working for the man but the man is a woman and the woman is a cat
Reposted by Lizzy
Face down, ass up, that's the way I lay in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs after tripping over a fucking cat.
December 3, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Face down, ass up, that's the way I lay in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs after tripping over a fucking cat.
Reposted by Lizzy
Am I the only one who doesn't give one fuck about Kings Hawaiian rolls?
December 6, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Am I the only one who doesn't give one fuck about Kings Hawaiian rolls?
Reposted by Lizzy
I'm an enigma, wrapped in a tortilla, dipped in nacho cheese
December 4, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I'm an enigma, wrapped in a tortilla, dipped in nacho cheese
Reposted by Lizzy
Found a faded five dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans so yes I'm guilty of money laundering.
December 6, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Found a faded five dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans so yes I'm guilty of money laundering.
Reposted by Lizzy
Even the most trivial, juvenile decisions are made to divide us.
🚨The Trump administration has dropped MLK Day and Juneteenth from free national-park days and added June 14, the president’s birthday, according to Interior Department listings.
open.substack.com/pub/theintel...
open.substack.com/pub/theintel...
Black History Holidays Cut From Free National Park Days as Black WWII Memorial Panels Are Removed Overseas
The Trump administration has dropped MLK Day and Juneteenth from free national-park days and added June 14, the president’s birthday, according to Interior Department listings.
open.substack.com
December 6, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Even the most trivial, juvenile decisions are made to divide us.
Magnifying mirrors are the best. How else would I know my chin mole actually has 3 hairs growing out of it now
December 6, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Magnifying mirrors are the best. How else would I know my chin mole actually has 3 hairs growing out of it now
Reposted by Lizzy
something to the effect of having to put it together… in order to make an Ikea joke
December 6, 2025 at 1:35 AM
something to the effect of having to put it together… in order to make an Ikea joke
Reposted by Lizzy
🎵 and on the 5th day of Christmas, she threw his body in the river and took off with the golden rings 🎵
December 6, 2025 at 1:13 AM
🎵 and on the 5th day of Christmas, she threw his body in the river and took off with the golden rings 🎵
Reposted by Lizzy
We are all residents of the land of forgotten toys.
December 4, 2025 at 12:51 PM
We are all residents of the land of forgotten toys.
Reposted by Lizzy
Bears are so fucking smart to hibernate for the winter.
December 5, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Bears are so fucking smart to hibernate for the winter.
Reposted by Lizzy
your honor when you said I may approach the bench I assumed I would get uppies to get there
December 5, 2025 at 10:24 PM
your honor when you said I may approach the bench I assumed I would get uppies to get there
Reposted by Lizzy
Bluesky profiles should let you list an emergency contact
December 5, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Bluesky profiles should let you list an emergency contact
Reposted by Lizzy
staring forlornly out of a window, wondering when my serotonin will return from the war, but knowing in my heart that I will never see it again
December 5, 2025 at 3:28 PM
staring forlornly out of a window, wondering when my serotonin will return from the war, but knowing in my heart that I will never see it again
Reposted by Lizzy
What if we kissed at the combination Car Wash / Sushi Bar
December 5, 2025 at 3:07 PM
What if we kissed at the combination Car Wash / Sushi Bar
Reposted by Lizzy
as an act of good faith, i will now vanish into the howling abyss
December 5, 2025 at 9:42 PM
as an act of good faith, i will now vanish into the howling abyss
PSA: no one likes sloppy gift wrapping... do better
December 5, 2025 at 11:25 PM
PSA: no one likes sloppy gift wrapping... do better