Paused Mortem 💀
@pausedmortem.bsky.social
Pinned
Paused Mortem 💀
@pausedmortem.bsky.social
· Jul 21
For a fucked up person, you'd think I'd thrive in a fucked up world.
Everybody's adulting and I'm here choosing the right font for my phone.
November 26, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Everybody's adulting and I'm here choosing the right font for my phone.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
They should invent an email that doesn't find me at all
November 25, 2025 at 5:45 PM
They should invent an email that doesn't find me at all
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
I have a feeling that this Wednesday has been gaslighted by Tuesday.
November 26, 2025 at 11:08 AM
I have a feeling that this Wednesday has been gaslighted by Tuesday.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
Your money and what you're gonna buy is the most boring topic ever. Stop it right now!
November 26, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Your money and what you're gonna buy is the most boring topic ever. Stop it right now!
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
why are they called eyelids when skindows was right there
November 22, 2025 at 11:59 PM
why are they called eyelids when skindows was right there
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
Can’t, I’m busy shocking the monkey
November 25, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Can’t, I’m busy shocking the monkey
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
My favorite childhood memory is having a strong bladder.
November 24, 2025 at 6:16 PM
My favorite childhood memory is having a strong bladder.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
View it as less a fire hazard and more of a fire opportunity
November 13, 2025 at 6:54 PM
View it as less a fire hazard and more of a fire opportunity
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
The sequel to The Breakfast Club is called The Early Bird Special Club.
November 9, 2025 at 8:43 AM
The sequel to The Breakfast Club is called The Early Bird Special Club.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
November 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
Gut me like one of your fishes.
November 24, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Gut me like one of your fishes.
Ruined my day by being alive.
November 23, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Ruined my day by being alive.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
You ever notice how "ok don't take this personally" is always followed up with something really freaking personal
November 22, 2025 at 7:22 PM
You ever notice how "ok don't take this personally" is always followed up with something really freaking personal
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
I’m aging like a fine swine
November 23, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I’m aging like a fine swine
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
Holy is just a technicality.
November 23, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Holy is just a technicality.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
Life is pain fr fr fr
November 23, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Life is pain fr fr fr
Unfortunately, this is real life.
November 23, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Unfortunately, this is real life.
Sometimes, the only way for things to change is for things to end.
November 23, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Sometimes, the only way for things to change is for things to end.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
Don't mean to be a stickler but "no words" are actually words
November 21, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Don't mean to be a stickler but "no words" are actually words
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
Live, love, launch yourself into traffic.
November 21, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Live, love, launch yourself into traffic.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
An eyelid, but for the butthole.
November 22, 2025 at 11:18 PM
An eyelid, but for the butthole.
Hi, it's me, the saltiest of all the cunts.
November 22, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Hi, it's me, the saltiest of all the cunts.
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
When one door closes…it’s hitting me on the ass on the way out
November 21, 2025 at 9:24 AM
When one door closes…it’s hitting me on the ass on the way out
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
This year I’ll be serving gravy with a mood stabilizer reduction
November 22, 2024 at 1:23 PM
This year I’ll be serving gravy with a mood stabilizer reduction
Reposted by Paused Mortem 💀
I would prefer cheese tray over flowers, every damn time
November 7, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I would prefer cheese tray over flowers, every damn time