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Lori

@cornjerker78.bsky.social

3.1K followers 380 following 490 posts

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dkxvo6rduhmh5zsnkshhlwdy/feed/aaag2lsx5folw

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Lori @cornjerker78.bsky.social · Dec 21

Godzilla *tiptoeing after each skyscraper*
I hate it when I get traffic jam between my toes.

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 9m

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3d

personally, i’m just glad there’s so many apps to spread my nonsense

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2d

*crawls into bed late at night and whispers those 8 special words "you’re on my side of the fucking bed"

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3h

i shouldn’t be allowed access to Temu without passing a breathalyzer

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

Dave & Buster’s, where a drunk can be a kid

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 12d

I’m stupid, arguing with me is completely pointless.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 10d

I love that happiness is so elusive, but you can find disappointment absolutely anywhere.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 7d

Is there a non-sexy way to eat celery?

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 6d

A bro sitting in his orange jeep wearing an orange hat and orange sunglasses and an orange shirt and the license plate says CRUSH.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 5d

Just ate a piece of fruit as though staying alive is worth while.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3d

*moments after finishing an entire Costco sheet cake

I am feeling very, very sexual.

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3d

pet my chest hair and tell me i’m pretty

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 29d

Don’t worry, I’m not in the mood for my bullshit either.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 28d

In space, no one can hear the reply guy scream.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 28d

“Do you want me to give you lots of attention or leave you alone?”

Me: Yes.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 27d

Typical of Apple to release another iPhone and completely ignore my demands for a wrist-mounted taser.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 25d

If you listen carefully, you can hear hindsight laughing at you.

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

My teenager is once again demanding that I make soup. I didn’t know that 15 year olds needed so many soups

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

All my years of ninja training finally paid off when I was able to open a pull top can without alerting my cats

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 19h

My cat just glared at me for not having enough lap, so now I need to figure out how to grow two more legs

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AnnaMolly will delete @anna-molly.bsky.social · 2d

I could be so fun guys. I don’t know. I blame you really…

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AnnaMolly will delete @anna-molly.bsky.social · 16h

I have a full time job, it’s called depression

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m-m-m-mike☺︎!👻 @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · 2d

"Tall, dark and handsome" best I can do is dark I'm so sorry

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m-m-m-mike☺︎!👻 @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · 2d

Don't ask me "What do you mean?" I don't know what I mean

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m-m-m-mike☺︎!👻 @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · 2d

Quitting pumpkin spice but can't fight the craving?

Get your fix with the new pumpkin patch!

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