Julie Lavender Menace
@2tickytacky.bsky.social
🔵Banger skeet writer
🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County
🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time.
I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️⚧️. she/her
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County
🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time.
I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️⚧️. she/her
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
Pinned
Now, a message from Rev. Dr. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Due to the extreme cold, Wicked Wild Water Polo has been canceled. God bless.
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Due to the extreme cold, Wicked Wild Water Polo has been canceled. God bless.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Another way to save time at work is to not do a good job.
December 10, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Another way to save time at work is to not do a good job.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
The heart would put a tracker on all of its worries if it could but has enough trust in worrying technology, it's organic. Follow behind a worry at a cleansed distance in worry oil, don't be wired like peppermint
December 10, 2025 at 5:48 AM
The heart would put a tracker on all of its worries if it could but has enough trust in worrying technology, it's organic. Follow behind a worry at a cleansed distance in worry oil, don't be wired like peppermint
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
A custom advent calendar that serves up a daily dose of cringe, recalling moments like accidentally saying “love you” instead of “goodbye” to your boss.
December 10, 2025 at 6:33 AM
A custom advent calendar that serves up a daily dose of cringe, recalling moments like accidentally saying “love you” instead of “goodbye” to your boss.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
every fart is an act of faith
December 7, 2025 at 2:11 AM
every fart is an act of faith
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I guess it's canon that Shrek has a rectangular prolapsed anus
December 7, 2025 at 11:37 AM
I guess it's canon that Shrek has a rectangular prolapsed anus
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Only the best for me: Carlo Rossi Sangria and Slim Jims
December 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Only the best for me: Carlo Rossi Sangria and Slim Jims
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Sometimes i like to pretend I'm Pinky from Pinky and The Brain to help forget my worries
December 6, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Sometimes i like to pretend I'm Pinky from Pinky and The Brain to help forget my worries
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Yelling at the car in front of me
Get thee hence, motherfucker!
Get thee hence, motherfucker!
December 9, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Yelling at the car in front of me
Get thee hence, motherfucker!
Get thee hence, motherfucker!
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I’ve never related to anything as much as Ruth on Ozark saying “I don’t know shit about fuck”.
August 6, 2025 at 2:49 PM
I’ve never related to anything as much as Ruth on Ozark saying “I don’t know shit about fuck”.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Once a sourdough starter is introduced to your habitat it feels like anything you touch or breathe will grow inside you. A duck pond starter is the only reason I'm still myself
December 9, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Once a sourdough starter is introduced to your habitat it feels like anything you touch or breathe will grow inside you. A duck pond starter is the only reason I'm still myself
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
According to my fitness app, I sat for 15 miles on my couch today.
December 9, 2025 at 6:51 PM
According to my fitness app, I sat for 15 miles on my couch today.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
wearing Christmas balls at the end of my braided pigtails to draw the right kind of weirdos into my orbit
December 9, 2025 at 8:03 PM
wearing Christmas balls at the end of my braided pigtails to draw the right kind of weirdos into my orbit
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
MICHELLIN CEO: So what should we call our mascot?
GARY: I'm thinking 'The Michellin Man'.
CEO: I love it
ME: *crumpling my note the says 'Tire-on Man* Fuck you, Gary.
GARY: I'm thinking 'The Michellin Man'.
CEO: I love it
ME: *crumpling my note the says 'Tire-on Man* Fuck you, Gary.
December 9, 2025 at 8:35 PM
MICHELLIN CEO: So what should we call our mascot?
GARY: I'm thinking 'The Michellin Man'.
CEO: I love it
ME: *crumpling my note the says 'Tire-on Man* Fuck you, Gary.
GARY: I'm thinking 'The Michellin Man'.
CEO: I love it
ME: *crumpling my note the says 'Tire-on Man* Fuck you, Gary.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
An escape room but it's trying to change a duvet cover when you're high
December 9, 2025 at 8:58 PM
An escape room but it's trying to change a duvet cover when you're high
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Quick stop for a KFC Big Box Meal on the way to pick up my Ozempic
December 9, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Quick stop for a KFC Big Box Meal on the way to pick up my Ozempic
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
2025 TOP FIVE BOOK GENRES WRAPPED IN CELLULOSE
1. BODY HORROR ONE
2. GAY WIZARD PORN
3. FINE YOUNG CANNIBALISM
4. BODY HORROR TWO
5. HISTORICAL AGRARIAN CLOWN FICTION
1. BODY HORROR ONE
2. GAY WIZARD PORN
3. FINE YOUNG CANNIBALISM
4. BODY HORROR TWO
5. HISTORICAL AGRARIAN CLOWN FICTION
December 9, 2025 at 9:28 PM
2025 TOP FIVE BOOK GENRES WRAPPED IN CELLULOSE
1. BODY HORROR ONE
2. GAY WIZARD PORN
3. FINE YOUNG CANNIBALISM
4. BODY HORROR TWO
5. HISTORICAL AGRARIAN CLOWN FICTION
1. BODY HORROR ONE
2. GAY WIZARD PORN
3. FINE YOUNG CANNIBALISM
4. BODY HORROR TWO
5. HISTORICAL AGRARIAN CLOWN FICTION
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
All I want for Christmas is y̶o̶u̶ 4.706.553 €.
December 9, 2025 at 10:43 PM
All I want for Christmas is y̶o̶u̶ 4.706.553 €.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
We gave Pam a wide berth, fearing orthodontic headgear was contagious.
December 10, 2025 at 12:26 AM
We gave Pam a wide berth, fearing orthodontic headgear was contagious.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Horses are not known for their literacy.
December 10, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Horses are not known for their literacy.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
it’s disturbing to find a shoe on the road especially when there’s still a foot in it
December 10, 2025 at 12:50 AM
it’s disturbing to find a shoe on the road especially when there’s still a foot in it
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
make sure you drink that up, the elves have spent all year working their tiny fingers to the bone nogging the eggs for us so we can have a little wrong milk for the holidays
December 10, 2025 at 1:50 AM
make sure you drink that up, the elves have spent all year working their tiny fingers to the bone nogging the eggs for us so we can have a little wrong milk for the holidays
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
The world loves to ask, “Can you recognize when your child is being bullied?”
But the harder, more uncomfortable question is, “Can you recognize when your child is the bully?”
But the harder, more uncomfortable question is, “Can you recognize when your child is the bully?”
December 10, 2025 at 2:13 AM
The world loves to ask, “Can you recognize when your child is being bullied?”
But the harder, more uncomfortable question is, “Can you recognize when your child is the bully?”
But the harder, more uncomfortable question is, “Can you recognize when your child is the bully?”
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
My superpower is making everything harder than it has to be
December 10, 2025 at 2:16 AM
My superpower is making everything harder than it has to be
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Don't forget to set out some skeets of questionable quality for morning Bluesky to enjoy. I put mine out already.
December 10, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Don't forget to set out some skeets of questionable quality for morning Bluesky to enjoy. I put mine out already.