FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
@sofarrsogud.bsky.social
Some of my posts are crafted like a sculpture from a block of wood. Others are pumped out like farts. 🇮🇪
Some nonsense https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hd45ud24roeoli4qe7ot24e3/feed/aaaf7lua7l5cm
Some nonsense https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hd45ud24roeoli4qe7ot24e3/feed/aaaf7lua7l5cm
Pinned
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
@sofarrsogud.bsky.social
· Jun 23
DATE: So what do you do?
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
Called two gym bros 'swolemates' today so I'm posting this from inside a locker.
February 4, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Called two gym bros 'swolemates' today so I'm posting this from inside a locker.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
if i was thrown into a volcano, i’d simply drink all the lava
February 2, 2026 at 4:57 PM
if i was thrown into a volcano, i’d simply drink all the lava
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
humans gave up claws in exchange for fine motor control
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
February 4, 2026 at 7:12 PM
humans gave up claws in exchange for fine motor control
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Entering my Michael Sheen phase of personal grooming.
February 4, 2026 at 7:31 PM
Entering my Michael Sheen phase of personal grooming.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
*two space aliens zooming around in their spaceship as one of them points to the earth*
that’s where guacamole comes from.
that’s where guacamole comes from.
February 4, 2026 at 3:34 PM
*two space aliens zooming around in their spaceship as one of them points to the earth*
that’s where guacamole comes from.
that’s where guacamole comes from.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
If they ever make a movie about my life, I hope they cast Michael Cera. He would be great at capturing my animal magnetism and raw sexual energy.
February 4, 2026 at 2:05 PM
If they ever make a movie about my life, I hope they cast Michael Cera. He would be great at capturing my animal magnetism and raw sexual energy.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
What is orange if not spicy beige?
February 4, 2026 at 4:41 AM
What is orange if not spicy beige?
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
I am single-handedly leading an effort to rename Hedgehogs as Shrubberypigs.
February 4, 2026 at 11:19 AM
I am single-handedly leading an effort to rename Hedgehogs as Shrubberypigs.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 AM
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Dads be like:
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
June 15, 2025 at 12:28 PM
Dads be like:
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.
January 19, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
If you didn't make her so wet she had to completely change clothes, did you even have a water balloon fight?
January 31, 2026 at 1:48 AM
If you didn't make her so wet she had to completely change clothes, did you even have a water balloon fight?
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
bragging to my kid that i can use the word “yeet” without being cringe. her face disagreed.
February 4, 2026 at 11:33 AM
bragging to my kid that i can use the word “yeet” without being cringe. her face disagreed.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
I bought furniture to play musical chairs. I got it for a song.
February 4, 2026 at 3:58 AM
I bought furniture to play musical chairs. I got it for a song.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
[Couples counselling]
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
February 4, 2026 at 12:56 PM
[Couples counselling]
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Sometimes I need a beige meal to take the edge off
February 3, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Sometimes I need a beige meal to take the edge off
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
*opens app for the first time all winter*
*starts scrolling*
*closes app again for six more weeks*
*starts scrolling*
*closes app again for six more weeks*
February 3, 2026 at 1:40 AM
*opens app for the first time all winter*
*starts scrolling*
*closes app again for six more weeks*
*starts scrolling*
*closes app again for six more weeks*
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Knees are the nipples of the legs
February 3, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Knees are the nipples of the legs
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Paying my chiropractor a little extra so they'll burp me before my adjustment
February 3, 2026 at 3:35 PM
Paying my chiropractor a little extra so they'll burp me before my adjustment
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
fuck i mixed up pavlov with schrödinger and now every time i ring a bell a cat might die
February 2, 2026 at 5:05 PM
fuck i mixed up pavlov with schrödinger and now every time i ring a bell a cat might die
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
help me early retirement you're my only hope
February 3, 2026 at 8:19 PM
help me early retirement you're my only hope
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
In high school, Joe Strummer was voted Clash clown.
February 3, 2026 at 8:52 PM
In high school, Joe Strummer was voted Clash clown.
ZOOKEEPER: So our last snake is our yellow Burmese python
ME: *way too loud* A bananaconda
ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
ME: *way too loud* A bananaconda
ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
February 3, 2026 at 7:12 PM
ZOOKEEPER: So our last snake is our yellow Burmese python
ME: *way too loud* A bananaconda
ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
ME: *way too loud* A bananaconda
ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
one of the reasons i can’t stand my neighbors is bc they named they french bulldog louis but call their son pooter
February 3, 2026 at 6:20 PM
one of the reasons i can’t stand my neighbors is bc they named they french bulldog louis but call their son pooter
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
You’re gonna hate this but I was actually testing you when I talked about mayonnaise.
February 3, 2026 at 12:26 AM
You’re gonna hate this but I was actually testing you when I talked about mayonnaise.