FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
@sofarrsogud.bsky.social
Some of my posts are crafted like a sculpture from a block of wood. Others are pumped out like farts. 🇮🇪
Some nonsense https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hd45ud24roeoli4qe7ot24e3/feed/aaaf7lua7l5cm
Some nonsense https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hd45ud24roeoli4qe7ot24e3/feed/aaaf7lua7l5cm
Pinned
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
@sofarrsogud.bsky.social
· Jun 23
DATE: So what do you do?
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
ME: Why did they call it a clip-on ponytail and not a phoneytail lol
WIFE: Omg why would anyone want that?
ME: *tucking my phoneytail down the back of my shirt* no idea Sharon
WIFE: Omg why would anyone want that?
ME: *tucking my phoneytail down the back of my shirt* no idea Sharon
February 5, 2026 at 10:07 PM
ME: Why did they call it a clip-on ponytail and not a phoneytail lol
WIFE: Omg why would anyone want that?
ME: *tucking my phoneytail down the back of my shirt* no idea Sharon
WIFE: Omg why would anyone want that?
ME: *tucking my phoneytail down the back of my shirt* no idea Sharon
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
i may not make much money but on the bright side i can respond “that’s above my pay grade” to pretty much anything
February 5, 2026 at 9:19 PM
i may not make much money but on the bright side i can respond “that’s above my pay grade” to pretty much anything
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Windswept on sand for a look that says I will always be there because I have been here always, or perfectly raked perimeter around a campsite for a look that says I'll be with you until the hose runs out
February 5, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Windswept on sand for a look that says I will always be there because I have been here always, or perfectly raked perimeter around a campsite for a look that says I'll be with you until the hose runs out
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Any friend who borrows money and doesn't pay it back is debt to me.
February 5, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Any friend who borrows money and doesn't pay it back is debt to me.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
help me cheese and mushroom toastie you're my only hope
February 3, 2026 at 8:18 PM
help me cheese and mushroom toastie you're my only hope
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
If I knew anything about water coolers do you really think I'd be hanging around the bird bath asking how to splash for myself when they talk dirty about me at work
February 5, 2026 at 4:59 PM
If I knew anything about water coolers do you really think I'd be hanging around the bird bath asking how to splash for myself when they talk dirty about me at work
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Hanging out as liquid inside a spray can until some graffiti wizard feels inspired to spray me into being another matter entirely
February 4, 2026 at 11:52 PM
Hanging out as liquid inside a spray can until some graffiti wizard feels inspired to spray me into being another matter entirely
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Place your bets for tomorrow's weiner dog races. Oscar's Therapist pays 10:1. God bless.
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Place your bets for tomorrow's weiner dog races. Oscar's Therapist pays 10:1. God bless.
February 5, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Place your bets for tomorrow's weiner dog races. Oscar's Therapist pays 10:1. God bless.
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Place your bets for tomorrow's weiner dog races. Oscar's Therapist pays 10:1. God bless.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
I still hit the blue write a post button. I just can't bring myself to use the whats up?
February 5, 2026 at 2:29 AM
I still hit the blue write a post button. I just can't bring myself to use the whats up?
Called two gym bros 'swolemates' today so I'm posting this from inside a locker.
February 4, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Called two gym bros 'swolemates' today so I'm posting this from inside a locker.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
if i was thrown into a volcano, i’d simply drink all the lava
February 2, 2026 at 4:57 PM
if i was thrown into a volcano, i’d simply drink all the lava
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
humans gave up claws in exchange for fine motor control
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
February 4, 2026 at 7:12 PM
humans gave up claws in exchange for fine motor control
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
which they immediately used to invent acrylic nails
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Entering my Michael Sheen phase of personal grooming.
February 4, 2026 at 7:31 PM
Entering my Michael Sheen phase of personal grooming.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
*two space aliens zooming around in their spaceship as one of them points to the earth*
that’s where guacamole comes from.
that’s where guacamole comes from.
February 4, 2026 at 3:34 PM
*two space aliens zooming around in their spaceship as one of them points to the earth*
that’s where guacamole comes from.
that’s where guacamole comes from.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
If they ever make a movie about my life, I hope they cast Michael Cera. He would be great at capturing my animal magnetism and raw sexual energy.
February 4, 2026 at 2:05 PM
If they ever make a movie about my life, I hope they cast Michael Cera. He would be great at capturing my animal magnetism and raw sexual energy.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
What is orange if not spicy beige?
February 4, 2026 at 4:41 AM
What is orange if not spicy beige?
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
I am single-handedly leading an effort to rename Hedgehogs as Shrubberypigs.
February 4, 2026 at 11:19 AM
I am single-handedly leading an effort to rename Hedgehogs as Shrubberypigs.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 AM
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Dads be like:
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
June 15, 2025 at 12:28 PM
Dads be like:
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.
January 19, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Stop mansplaining The Silence of the Lambs to me, I dont need a Hannibal lecture.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
If you didn't make her so wet she had to completely change clothes, did you even have a water balloon fight?
January 31, 2026 at 1:48 AM
If you didn't make her so wet she had to completely change clothes, did you even have a water balloon fight?
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
bragging to my kid that i can use the word “yeet” without being cringe. her face disagreed.
February 4, 2026 at 11:33 AM
bragging to my kid that i can use the word “yeet” without being cringe. her face disagreed.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
I bought furniture to play musical chairs. I got it for a song.
February 4, 2026 at 3:58 AM
I bought furniture to play musical chairs. I got it for a song.
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
[Couples counselling]
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
February 4, 2026 at 12:56 PM
[Couples counselling]
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
Sometimes I need a beige meal to take the edge off
February 3, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Sometimes I need a beige meal to take the edge off