Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

@captantagonist.bsky.social

5.8K followers 490 following 6.3K posts

This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. Or here: https://shorturl.at/HAomx Newest: https://shorturl.at/WSYWt

shorturl.at

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · Jan 19

I want to install a speaker system on my lighthouse so when it guides ships to shore it can start playing a siren song at the last minute.

9 57 240

Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 23h

WebMD: You have the flu or maybe cancer

Victorian WebMD: You have the flu or maybe dropsy, phthisis, jail fever, summer complaint, and intense malaise

6 2 22

Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

BAJA BLAST BLAINE @shrekromancer.gay · 1d

therapist: so, tell me a bit about what brings you here

me:

heading on the Wikipedia page about the Plagues of Egypt, titled "list of the disasters"

3 55 160

Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

My car needs to get ahold of itself- my engine isn’t the only thing around here that needs serviced, so it’s going to have to wait its turn

1 12 37

Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

Hell Ray-ser @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 1d

In kind of an awkward situation, please advise. Screaming guy is charging me with a knife, but I'm holding scissors so I can't run away, what shou

1 2 25

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

I'm so sorry the things I enjoy are hilarious to you

This is definitely a sincere statement and not sarcastic at all

1 4

Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 1d

i dont repost a single one of you
as much as you deserve im sorry
i really wish i knew how to read

3 4 39

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

Expection: Doesn't wear glasses, so can't see she isn't wearing clothing

Reality: Wears glasses, can see that.

As a person who wears glasses, I think you can see (haha) what I'm talking about here *adjusting glasses* madam.

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

Those are all letters

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

1 like = 1 like = 1 like = 1 like = 1 like = 1 like = 1 descent into a totally fictional dystopia that doesn't actually exist because that would be silly = 1 like ≈ 1 slow spiral into the abyss of reality = 1 enjoy your stay

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

I'm not anti-social

I just don't like you :)

1 2 7

Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 1d

there’s no way your anaconda can handle these buns of steel

3 11 30

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

Gatekeeping is like holding water in your hands. It doesn't stop the liquid from running through your fingers, and you look like a very wet ridiculous weirdo.

1 2

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

Join the Navy and one day you'll be able to fertilize an egg.

1 2

Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️

𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🪾🍂 @apexamigo.bsky.social · 1d

it seems like youve lost some
effervescence maybe you need
more bubbly stuff in your life

1 3 18

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight. Trying to fix this lighting.

4 14

☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 1d

Forget-me-nots are the perfect flower to give to someone with that brain thingy where they don't remember things good. I think it was called Amnesty International.