Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show.
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
Pinned
Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
· Nov 20
I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
There's a "Restore All" button on the paper shredder, right?
August 7, 2025 at 12:30 PM
There's a "Restore All" button on the paper shredder, right?
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
November 20, 2024 at 2:39 PM
I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
Suppressing Enemy Fire, Charlie Brown
November 27, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Suppressing Enemy Fire, Charlie Brown
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
The guy who invented the word ‘gobble’ should be allowed to invent more things
November 27, 2025 at 1:44 PM
The guy who invented the word ‘gobble’ should be allowed to invent more things
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
so horrible when a skircle has sexual predators around someone’s avi that you enjoy following
unfollow or ignore.. hmm 🤔
unfollow or ignore.. hmm 🤔
November 24, 2025 at 1:35 AM
so horrible when a skircle has sexual predators around someone’s avi that you enjoy following
unfollow or ignore.. hmm 🤔
unfollow or ignore.. hmm 🤔
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
I need multiple chances to make a good first impression
November 25, 2025 at 10:34 AM
I need multiple chances to make a good first impression
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
the turkeys are comfortable grazing in my yard once they heard we’re doing Asian fusion this year
November 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
the turkeys are comfortable grazing in my yard once they heard we’re doing Asian fusion this year
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Turkey is great, but not rehearsing a conversation that already happened is Michelin star level.
November 26, 2025 at 9:48 AM
Turkey is great, but not rehearsing a conversation that already happened is Michelin star level.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Youth pastor (after sitting down on a chair turned backwards): I know you kids like these modern pop songs by Sabrina but you know who else was a Carpenter?
November 27, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Youth pastor (after sitting down on a chair turned backwards): I know you kids like these modern pop songs by Sabrina but you know who else was a Carpenter?
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
The Philadelphia 76ers lead the NBA in "whoa that dude is still playing?!?"
November 26, 2025 at 1:52 AM
The Philadelphia 76ers lead the NBA in "whoa that dude is still playing?!?"
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
gtfo if your cranberry sauce isn’t shaped like a can like nature intended
November 26, 2025 at 1:57 PM
gtfo if your cranberry sauce isn’t shaped like a can like nature intended
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
2024: people embarrassed by what's on their Spotify wrapped
2025: people embarrassed to admit they still use Spotify
2025: people embarrassed to admit they still use Spotify
November 26, 2025 at 11:00 PM
2024: people embarrassed by what's on their Spotify wrapped
2025: people embarrassed to admit they still use Spotify
2025: people embarrassed to admit they still use Spotify
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Boundaries are for dumbasses - according to my cats.
November 19, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Boundaries are for dumbasses - according to my cats.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Mixed signals except it's just my cat finding me to say hello but biting me instead
November 21, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Mixed signals except it's just my cat finding me to say hello but biting me instead
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
time to go plant the turkey
November 27, 2025 at 12:20 AM
time to go plant the turkey
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Lot of people on here who are *scratching uncomfortably* not people
November 23, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Lot of people on here who are *scratching uncomfortably* not people
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Tech bros really can't understand why we're hostile to technology that a) is frequently confidently wrong and b) threatens to ruin our already terrible lives
November 24, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Tech bros really can't understand why we're hostile to technology that a) is frequently confidently wrong and b) threatens to ruin our already terrible lives
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
*dabs a little beer behind my ears before I go out*
November 25, 2025 at 11:56 PM
*dabs a little beer behind my ears before I go out*
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
ME: It's like The Goonies meets E.T. meets The X Files.
FRIEND: You talking about Stranger Things?
ME: [hiding my screenplay, The Goonet Files, behind my back] Totally. Yeah.
FRIEND: You talking about Stranger Things?
ME: [hiding my screenplay, The Goonet Files, behind my back] Totally. Yeah.
November 26, 2025 at 9:24 PM
ME: It's like The Goonies meets E.T. meets The X Files.
FRIEND: You talking about Stranger Things?
ME: [hiding my screenplay, The Goonet Files, behind my back] Totally. Yeah.
FRIEND: You talking about Stranger Things?
ME: [hiding my screenplay, The Goonet Files, behind my back] Totally. Yeah.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
*Foo Fighters song comes on the car radio*
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
November 24, 2025 at 11:36 PM
*Foo Fighters song comes on the car radio*
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
My plus one for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is vodka.
November 27, 2025 at 12:08 AM
My plus one for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is vodka.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
No the turkey neck in my profile pic isn't seasonal
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 AM
No the turkey neck in my profile pic isn't seasonal
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
I hope you pooped on company time today
November 25, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I hope you pooped on company time today
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
be accountable? what am i, a math expert?
November 27, 2025 at 4:55 AM
be accountable? what am i, a math expert?
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
*putting on Santa costume & heading out to the bar*
Me: KRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE
Me: KRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE
November 24, 2025 at 7:01 PM
*putting on Santa costume & heading out to the bar*
Me: KRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE
Me: KRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE