Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show.
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
Pinned
Fomo Simpson
@haliphacks.bsky.social
· Nov 20
I'm in my "why do I continue to live here" era (every November to April).
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
In the words of Pink Floyd, we don’t need no education. But also in the words of Pink Floyd, money.
November 8, 2025 at 12:39 AM
In the words of Pink Floyd, we don’t need no education. But also in the words of Pink Floyd, money.
Claude's heart was never in the art game because he was all about that Monet.
November 14, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Claude's heart was never in the art game because he was all about that Monet.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Extreme Alvin and the Chipmunks voice: 🎵 Christmas, Christmastime is near
Time for drugs and time for beer 🎶
Time for drugs and time for beer 🎶
November 12, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Extreme Alvin and the Chipmunks voice: 🎵 Christmas, Christmastime is near
Time for drugs and time for beer 🎶
Time for drugs and time for beer 🎶
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
You're at shut but I need you at the fuck up with this unwitty, basic ass low hanging fruit shit.
November 11, 2025 at 10:41 PM
You're at shut but I need you at the fuck up with this unwitty, basic ass low hanging fruit shit.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
absurd is short for absolute turd
November 10, 2025 at 5:33 AM
absurd is short for absolute turd
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Not sure if it’s amazing, terrifying or just plain sad that “Office Space” is still incredibly relevant 26 years later.
November 11, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Not sure if it’s amazing, terrifying or just plain sad that “Office Space” is still incredibly relevant 26 years later.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
It’s sort of weird because I’m a huge human, nobody really wants to screw around with me. Like if someone starts up, I show up and they leave. And that’s great from my perspective. I don’t want to fight ever. It’s like great if the fight is won before it’s fought. Some Sun Tzu capital.
November 10, 2025 at 12:59 AM
It’s sort of weird because I’m a huge human, nobody really wants to screw around with me. Like if someone starts up, I show up and they leave. And that’s great from my perspective. I don’t want to fight ever. It’s like great if the fight is won before it’s fought. Some Sun Tzu capital.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Boss: I’m sorry but we’re gonna have to let you go
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
November 6, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Boss: I’m sorry but we’re gonna have to let you go
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
Rand McNally: *storming out* THIS IS RIDICULOUS I PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Pretty glad to see Mamdani is implementing Shakeyourump Law because honestly all I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom
November 7, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Pretty glad to see Mamdani is implementing Shakeyourump Law because honestly all I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
The 80s were a time when Al Bundy, an idiot shoe salesman, could afford a 3 bedroom home in Chicago.
November 7, 2025 at 9:59 PM
The 80s were a time when Al Bundy, an idiot shoe salesman, could afford a 3 bedroom home in Chicago.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
One part of the economy is improving
November 7, 2025 at 2:21 AM
One part of the economy is improving
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
When Trump is out of office, I hope they use his ballroom to host drag shows.
November 8, 2025 at 11:11 PM
When Trump is out of office, I hope they use his ballroom to host drag shows.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
This administration is like Rocky 5, once everything is done, we'll pretend like it never happened
October 21, 2025 at 2:48 PM
This administration is like Rocky 5, once everything is done, we'll pretend like it never happened
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Is the sandwich that attacked you in the courtroom here today?
November 4, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Is the sandwich that attacked you in the courtroom here today?
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
"I'll always make time for you, girl."
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
November 6, 2025 at 1:30 PM
"I'll always make time for you, girl."
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
- Me to you but also to a plate of nachos
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Twitter is a place where an account with 300 followers can have a post from 2016 with 75K likes that says "spicy iz tha only way i kno."
November 5, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Twitter is a place where an account with 300 followers can have a post from 2016 with 75K likes that says "spicy iz tha only way i kno."
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Honestly I’m still sore from the monster mash.
November 10, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Honestly I’m still sore from the monster mash.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
What the heck is a beaver moon? I thought those were two different things. I’m terrible with female anatomy, tho.
November 4, 2025 at 10:59 PM
What the heck is a beaver moon? I thought those were two different things. I’m terrible with female anatomy, tho.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
November 10, 2025 at 9:10 PM
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
That feeling when you finish your last meeting at 12:51pm on Friday and most things on your to do list can wait for Monday.
November 7, 2025 at 5:53 PM
That feeling when you finish your last meeting at 12:51pm on Friday and most things on your to do list can wait for Monday.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
I swear to god there must be a neurotransmitter that provides feelings of pleasure from doing or saying the stupidest shit. When they discover it, it must be named derpamine
November 10, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I swear to god there must be a neurotransmitter that provides feelings of pleasure from doing or saying the stupidest shit. When they discover it, it must be named derpamine
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
Swallowing a dumbbell to add weight to all my arguments.
October 30, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Swallowing a dumbbell to add weight to all my arguments.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
We sneer at people with cars up on cinderblocks in their yards when we should appreciate their tireless work.
November 5, 2025 at 8:09 PM
We sneer at people with cars up on cinderblocks in their yards when we should appreciate their tireless work.
Reposted by Fomo Simpson
I would prefer cheese tray over flowers, every damn time
November 7, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I would prefer cheese tray over flowers, every damn time