stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
Pinned
stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
· Jul 21
Listen. Life is short. Take the vacation. Eat the dessert. Dress like an elderly British woman to defy custody laws and see your kids. Get the guacamole yes I know it’s extra. Be extra.
At Best Buy insisting on paying full price because all fridays matter
November 28, 2025 at 1:09 PM
At Best Buy insisting on paying full price because all fridays matter
Reposted by stabke
I like to go to zen gardens and shout at things.
November 27, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I like to go to zen gardens and shout at things.
Reposted by stabke
here is a handy visual guide to tell when your turkey is done
November 27, 2025 at 6:00 PM
here is a handy visual guide to tell when your turkey is done
Reposted by stabke
If all your relatives are holding notepads with prepared speeches it’s not Thanksgiving dinner. It’s your intervention.
November 27, 2025 at 4:10 PM
If all your relatives are holding notepads with prepared speeches it’s not Thanksgiving dinner. It’s your intervention.
I quit smoking cold turkey but I relapse every thanksgiving
November 27, 2025 at 3:19 PM
I quit smoking cold turkey but I relapse every thanksgiving
Reposted by stabke
If you assume that I am just that stupid then everything I do suddenly makes so much more sense.
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
If you assume that I am just that stupid then everything I do suddenly makes so much more sense.
Reposted by stabke
“My name is Inigo Monturkey. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
November 27, 2025 at 1:41 PM
“My name is Inigo Monturkey. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Reposted by stabke
Possibly just me but I think I shouldn't have to Accept Cookies every single visit
November 27, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Possibly just me but I think I shouldn't have to Accept Cookies every single visit
Reposted by stabke
My plus one for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is vodka.
November 27, 2025 at 12:08 AM
My plus one for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is vodka.
Reposted by stabke
how else will i know if my kid's a witch?
November 26, 2025 at 7:28 PM
how else will i know if my kid's a witch?
Reposted by stabke
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
November 26, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
Reposted by stabke
Am I being too obvious if I show up for Thanksgiving dinner carrying empty Tupperware and a box of Ziploc bags?
November 25, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Am I being too obvious if I show up for Thanksgiving dinner carrying empty Tupperware and a box of Ziploc bags?
Reposted by stabke
make your kid’s birthday party a special one they’ll be talking about in therapy for years to come
November 25, 2025 at 5:05 PM
make your kid’s birthday party a special one they’ll be talking about in therapy for years to come
Reposted by stabke
“I AM A GOLDEN GOD!”
November 25, 2025 at 2:06 PM
“I AM A GOLDEN GOD!”
Reposted by stabke
If old movies taught me anything it’s how awesome it would be to have my own skeleton army.
November 25, 2025 at 1:38 PM
If old movies taught me anything it’s how awesome it would be to have my own skeleton army.
Reposted by stabke
*Foo Fighters song comes on the car radio*
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
November 24, 2025 at 11:36 PM
*Foo Fighters song comes on the car radio*
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Reposted by stabke
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
November 24, 2025 at 9:58 PM
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
Reposted by stabke
I can't find my ceremonial porcupine.
November 24, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I can't find my ceremonial porcupine.
Reposted by stabke
“Great, now I have to pee.”
November 24, 2025 at 6:07 PM
“Great, now I have to pee.”
Reposted by stabke
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
November 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
Reposted by stabke
Having just been through the desert carrying a guy with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain.
November 24, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Having just been through the desert carrying a guy with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain.
Hello and welcome to Assumptions Club. I think we all know why we’re here.
November 25, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Hello and welcome to Assumptions Club. I think we all know why we’re here.
Reposted by stabke
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
November 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
Reposted by stabke
my dad about to tell a funny story that isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks it is
November 23, 2025 at 10:44 PM
my dad about to tell a funny story that isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks it is
Reposted by stabke
[Emergency Room]
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist
November 23, 2025 at 3:02 PM
[Emergency Room]
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist