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gupton68.bsky.social
bacon popsicle 🕰️
@gupton68.bsky.social
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What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
Life shouldn’t be measured by the passing of time, rather the good times spent in brothels and bars.
December 9, 2025 at 1:59 PM
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I like to welcome the holiday season
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
December 9, 2025 at 12:46 PM
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Sorry I keep missing the mark for coolness or relevance.
December 9, 2025 at 2:09 AM
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head & shoulders,
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
December 9, 2025 at 12:36 AM
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ME: Can you show me how to make jelly?

WIFE: K. Why?

ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
December 8, 2025 at 10:44 PM
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Therapist: You know I said that now you can easily tackle dealing with toxic people and not now you can easily tackle toxic people, right? Repeat what I said, please.

Me: You think I can and should tackle people now. Great! See you next week!
December 8, 2025 at 10:46 PM
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Getting kinda late in the shopping season might have to test how serious she is about only wanting me for Christmas
December 9, 2025 at 10:35 AM
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do the people who listen to counting crows realize they don't have to?
December 5, 2025 at 1:55 AM
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Watch a yule log with commercials and chill?
December 8, 2025 at 10:16 PM
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Drawing your weapon is not a great way to win a war.
December 9, 2025 at 12:21 PM
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I bring my phone with me to every room in my house because eventually I'm going to have to make that call . . . "I've fallen and I can't get up"
December 9, 2025 at 1:32 PM
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Y'ever wake up feelin' all dessicated?
November 30, 2025 at 3:49 PM
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How far do we have to go back for golden age thinking?
December 9, 2025 at 9:19 AM
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like the mysteries of Quantum Entanglements and the Taos Hum
I sometimes ponder why there are accounts that NEVER Re-Skeet others but then again I think.. Oh Oh Oh Pink
August 16, 2025 at 9:07 PM
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Unclench your buttocks

Is that anything?

*sighs*

Didn't think so

*missing our Unclench jaw friend *
November 27, 2024 at 3:57 PM
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Hmm think I found the problem and it's not me.
Look.
It says right here in the table of content
that you're missing your humorous bone
October 1, 2023 at 3:05 PM
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There's a lot going on right now. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

- me, to my consciousness
March 2, 2025 at 10:31 PM
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I can hear loud music from a nearby stadium and it's a beautiful choir of voices. Not sure what is going on but I love it.
November 8, 2024 at 11:57 PM
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the same people who wont pick up an oar are the ones complaining the loudest about the boat going in circles
August 11, 2025 at 10:35 PM
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intercourse is when you bring food into the bedroom
December 9, 2025 at 6:18 AM
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How many pull ups will you have to do to fly commercial?
December 9, 2025 at 2:12 AM
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"PUT THE FUCKING CASH IN THE FUCKING BAG OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF!"

And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
November 1, 2025 at 2:40 PM
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Her: How can you joke at a time like this?

Me: What? You mean, daytime?

(𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙤𝙧 𝘼𝙨 𝘼 𝘾𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢, 𝙐𝙎𝘼™️)
November 8, 2024 at 11:20 AM
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This day in history. 2003. In Melbourne Australia burglars made off with two four-inch Rembrandt etchings or as the homeowner called them, "me best beer coasters."
December 9, 2023 at 10:49 AM
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One minute you think you have it all and then you risk everything on one last high-stakes game of Go Fish and suddenly all you have left are the memories and a sippy cup full of Gatorade and broken dreams.
December 8, 2025 at 2:30 PM