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@gupton68.bsky.social
Your Humble Narrator
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
Pinned
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@gupton68.bsky.social
· Dec 11
What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
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I buy so much booze these days I’m beginning to wonder if I need an intervention. I’d hate to become a shopaholic.
December 7, 2025 at 3:14 PM
I buy so much booze these days I’m beginning to wonder if I need an intervention. I’d hate to become a shopaholic.
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I hate myself when I inadvertently insult someone with a sarcastic comment, it’s just so much more rewarding when it’s done intentionally.
September 5, 2025 at 12:45 PM
I hate myself when I inadvertently insult someone with a sarcastic comment, it’s just so much more rewarding when it’s done intentionally.
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Laughter is the best weapon in the fight against a world filled with hate and tragedy, fear and loathing, despair and duck billed platypuses.
December 21, 2024 at 1:25 PM
Laughter is the best weapon in the fight against a world filled with hate and tragedy, fear and loathing, despair and duck billed platypuses.
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[Galilee AD17, around dinner time]
Mary: you are not going out until your room’s tidy
Jesus: aw mom, dad said I can be messy
Joseph: nice try son, I said you may well be the Messiah but you can still clean your room
Jesus: I hate you, you’re not even my real dad!
Mary: you are not going out until your room’s tidy
Jesus: aw mom, dad said I can be messy
Joseph: nice try son, I said you may well be the Messiah but you can still clean your room
Jesus: I hate you, you’re not even my real dad!
January 5, 2025 at 2:24 PM
[Galilee AD17, around dinner time]
Mary: you are not going out until your room’s tidy
Jesus: aw mom, dad said I can be messy
Joseph: nice try son, I said you may well be the Messiah but you can still clean your room
Jesus: I hate you, you’re not even my real dad!
Mary: you are not going out until your room’s tidy
Jesus: aw mom, dad said I can be messy
Joseph: nice try son, I said you may well be the Messiah but you can still clean your room
Jesus: I hate you, you’re not even my real dad!
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I don’t wanna be rocked like a hurricane today. I wanna be swaddled and rocked like a baby.
December 6, 2025 at 10:48 PM
I don’t wanna be rocked like a hurricane today. I wanna be swaddled and rocked like a baby.
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I’m really more comfortable ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ of my comfort zone
so I’ll just stay right here thx
so I’ll just stay right here thx
December 6, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I’m really more comfortable ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ of my comfort zone
so I’ll just stay right here thx
so I’ll just stay right here thx
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ME: I spent a summer in Paris studying French.
HER: Oh, cool, how did it go?
ME: No bueno...
HER: Oh, cool, how did it go?
ME: No bueno...
January 10, 2025 at 11:34 PM
ME: I spent a summer in Paris studying French.
HER: Oh, cool, how did it go?
ME: No bueno...
HER: Oh, cool, how did it go?
ME: No bueno...
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“I brined the turkey in my tears” is a fun little icebreaker if you’re hosting Thanksgiving
November 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
“I brined the turkey in my tears” is a fun little icebreaker if you’re hosting Thanksgiving
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You don't have to be a vampire to hate on sunlight, you could just be so many drops of open-minded your kinks are dilated
December 7, 2025 at 6:00 PM
You don't have to be a vampire to hate on sunlight, you could just be so many drops of open-minded your kinks are dilated
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omg i just aced the NYTimes flashback history quiz omg !!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
December 7, 2025 at 3:54 PM
omg i just aced the NYTimes flashback history quiz omg !!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
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The satanic farmers almanac is calling for ALL HAIL.
December 7, 2025 at 7:15 PM
The satanic farmers almanac is calling for ALL HAIL.
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you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not the wandering spirit of a girl who was murdered several centuries ago who inhabited my body to use as a vessel for vengeance against the descendants of her killers
December 7, 2025 at 12:56 AM
you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not the wandering spirit of a girl who was murdered several centuries ago who inhabited my body to use as a vessel for vengeance against the descendants of her killers
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Bought an at-home blood pressure machine just to feel a little hug.
April 24, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Bought an at-home blood pressure machine just to feel a little hug.
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Just washed down my bran flakes with a cupcake in case anyone doubts my atheism
November 17, 2024 at 2:33 PM
Just washed down my bran flakes with a cupcake in case anyone doubts my atheism
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it’s like the movie mannequin but it’s me trapped in a tj maxx having fallen in love with a bunch of travel mugs that come to life
December 3, 2025 at 4:03 PM
it’s like the movie mannequin but it’s me trapped in a tj maxx having fallen in love with a bunch of travel mugs that come to life
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I don’t hold grudges, I just remember everything forever like a spiteful little historian.
December 7, 2025 at 7:40 PM
I don’t hold grudges, I just remember everything forever like a spiteful little historian.
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Come get your scoop of our new Christmas flavour. It's vanilla
December 7, 2025 at 9:26 AM
Come get your scoop of our new Christmas flavour. It's vanilla
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When someone says something was done in poor taste, I lick it to decide for myself.
December 7, 2025 at 5:17 PM
When someone says something was done in poor taste, I lick it to decide for myself.
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Status: Off my rocker.
December 7, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Status: Off my rocker.
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My reposts are kicking so much ass right now.
December 5, 2025 at 9:31 PM
My reposts are kicking so much ass right now.
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You're the conductor of your reality. You.
[baked moment in time]
[baked moment in time]
December 7, 2025 at 7:29 PM
You're the conductor of your reality. You.
[baked moment in time]
[baked moment in time]
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People who run - but like why though?
December 7, 2025 at 2:38 PM
People who run - but like why though?
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Dedicating my life to fact checking the dictionary.
December 7, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Dedicating my life to fact checking the dictionary.
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keep me posted*
*please repost all my dumb jokes
*please repost all my dumb jokes
December 7, 2025 at 4:25 PM
keep me posted*
*please repost all my dumb jokes
*please repost all my dumb jokes
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Any suggestions for my personalized license plate? I was thinking LKMY JNK
November 30, 2025 at 6:08 AM
Any suggestions for my personalized license plate? I was thinking LKMY JNK