bacon popsicle 🍆🫨
@gupton68.bsky.social
how did I get here?
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
Pinned
bacon popsicle 🍆🫨
@gupton68.bsky.social
· Dec 11
What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
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If God really were a woman surely she'd have made dicks vibrate?
December 4, 2025 at 2:21 PM
If God really were a woman surely she'd have made dicks vibrate?
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gonna be famous when I finish writing this song about dancing all night
December 5, 2025 at 3:53 AM
gonna be famous when I finish writing this song about dancing all night
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The day I found out that a scissor lift and a cherry picker are not sex moves was a sad day for me
December 3, 2025 at 11:12 PM
The day I found out that a scissor lift and a cherry picker are not sex moves was a sad day for me
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Maybe like philosopher’s ideas my shitposts are too esoteric for this…place
*wipes pizza grease off chin*
*wipes pizza grease off chin*
December 3, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Maybe like philosopher’s ideas my shitposts are too esoteric for this…place
*wipes pizza grease off chin*
*wipes pizza grease off chin*
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What do folks who put ™️ after their handles want from us
(lays in a bog chewing rusty amulets)
(lays in a bog chewing rusty amulets)
December 3, 2025 at 4:17 AM
What do folks who put ™️ after their handles want from us
(lays in a bog chewing rusty amulets)
(lays in a bog chewing rusty amulets)
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See? Everybody's music taste is cringe.
December 4, 2025 at 3:24 PM
See? Everybody's music taste is cringe.
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my back is fine if I don’t sit down for more than five minutes
December 4, 2025 at 11:35 PM
my back is fine if I don’t sit down for more than five minutes
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I’m not dead, but I’m not quite alive…
November 30, 2025 at 12:11 AM
I’m not dead, but I’m not quite alive…
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Whoomp! There it went. I’m not going after it. I’m too lazy.
December 5, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Whoomp! There it went. I’m not going after it. I’m too lazy.
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*after my 7th suicidal episode of the year
Maybe it’s time to get some help?
Maybe it’s time to get some help?
December 5, 2025 at 12:47 AM
*after my 7th suicidal episode of the year
Maybe it’s time to get some help?
Maybe it’s time to get some help?
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if god wanted me to fly god would have given me the good drugs
December 4, 2025 at 10:34 PM
if god wanted me to fly god would have given me the good drugs
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One day they’ll tell your story, and my only wish is that they won’t be able to finish it without also telling mine.
March 12, 2025 at 5:50 AM
One day they’ll tell your story, and my only wish is that they won’t be able to finish it without also telling mine.
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It’s impossible to be liked by everyone. It’s also impossible to be disliked by everyone. What is possible is not giving a shit. It’s all about achievable goals.
December 19, 2024 at 4:15 PM
It’s impossible to be liked by everyone. It’s also impossible to be disliked by everyone. What is possible is not giving a shit. It’s all about achievable goals.
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I get some people who probably think I'm a novelty account but I'm not. I'm actually just a bogan
December 4, 2025 at 10:03 AM
I get some people who probably think I'm a novelty account but I'm not. I'm actually just a bogan
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The Diary of a Wimpy Bitch Ass President
November 29, 2025 at 6:33 AM
The Diary of a Wimpy Bitch Ass President
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We found Linus with his head in the microwave, Charlie Brown
December 3, 2025 at 12:22 PM
We found Linus with his head in the microwave, Charlie Brown
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If I ever get eaten by a bear, just know that I was trying to pet that bitch and died happy.
December 2, 2025 at 10:41 PM
If I ever get eaten by a bear, just know that I was trying to pet that bitch and died happy.
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We threw handfuls of lice at the bride and groom because we thought that's what they wanted.
December 3, 2025 at 8:44 PM
We threw handfuls of lice at the bride and groom because we thought that's what they wanted.
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My attempt to be rebellious was ruined. I used that thing that had a do not use sign on it, but nothing happened.
December 4, 2025 at 5:02 PM
My attempt to be rebellious was ruined. I used that thing that had a do not use sign on it, but nothing happened.
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Being spun around on a playground merry go round would fix me.
December 5, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Being spun around on a playground merry go round would fix me.
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just imagine me in your replies all the time bc i would be if not for this ridiculous anxiety of mine
December 5, 2025 at 3:06 AM
just imagine me in your replies all the time bc i would be if not for this ridiculous anxiety of mine
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recording myself doing the running man so i can threaten to post it on tiktok the next time my kid sneaks on tiktok
December 5, 2025 at 1:35 AM
recording myself doing the running man so i can threaten to post it on tiktok the next time my kid sneaks on tiktok
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Her: Where did you learn about sex?
Me: I’m self-taught.
Her: You don’t say.
Me: I’m self-taught.
Her: You don’t say.
December 4, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Her: Where did you learn about sex?
Me: I’m self-taught.
Her: You don’t say.
Me: I’m self-taught.
Her: You don’t say.
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Anyone know how soon I should start roasting the Christmas turkey so I can be sure it will be fully dry enough for the big day?
December 19, 2024 at 1:36 PM
Anyone know how soon I should start roasting the Christmas turkey so I can be sure it will be fully dry enough for the big day?