bacon popsicle 🕰️
@gupton68.bsky.social
better the devil you know
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
Pinned
bacon popsicle 🕰️
@gupton68.bsky.social
· Dec 11
What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
Life shouldn’t be measured by the passing of time, rather the good times spent in brothels and bars.
December 9, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Life shouldn’t be measured by the passing of time, rather the good times spent in brothels and bars.
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I like to welcome the holiday season
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
December 9, 2025 at 12:46 PM
I like to welcome the holiday season
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
by turning off the voicemail function on my phone
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Sorry I keep missing the mark for coolness or relevance.
December 9, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Sorry I keep missing the mark for coolness or relevance.
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
head & shoulders,
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
December 9, 2025 at 12:36 AM
head & shoulders,
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
ME: Can you show me how to make jelly?
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
December 8, 2025 at 10:44 PM
ME: Can you show me how to make jelly?
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Therapist: You know I said that now you can easily tackle dealing with toxic people and not now you can easily tackle toxic people, right? Repeat what I said, please.
Me: You think I can and should tackle people now. Great! See you next week!
Me: You think I can and should tackle people now. Great! See you next week!
December 8, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Therapist: You know I said that now you can easily tackle dealing with toxic people and not now you can easily tackle toxic people, right? Repeat what I said, please.
Me: You think I can and should tackle people now. Great! See you next week!
Me: You think I can and should tackle people now. Great! See you next week!
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Getting kinda late in the shopping season might have to test how serious she is about only wanting me for Christmas
December 9, 2025 at 10:35 AM
Getting kinda late in the shopping season might have to test how serious she is about only wanting me for Christmas
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do the people who listen to counting crows realize they don't have to?
December 5, 2025 at 1:55 AM
do the people who listen to counting crows realize they don't have to?
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Watch a yule log with commercials and chill?
December 8, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Watch a yule log with commercials and chill?
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Drawing your weapon is not a great way to win a war.
December 9, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Drawing your weapon is not a great way to win a war.
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
I bring my phone with me to every room in my house because eventually I'm going to have to make that call . . . "I've fallen and I can't get up"
December 9, 2025 at 1:32 PM
I bring my phone with me to every room in my house because eventually I'm going to have to make that call . . . "I've fallen and I can't get up"
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Y'ever wake up feelin' all dessicated?
November 30, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Y'ever wake up feelin' all dessicated?
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How far do we have to go back for golden age thinking?
December 9, 2025 at 9:19 AM
How far do we have to go back for golden age thinking?
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like the mysteries of Quantum Entanglements and the Taos Hum
I sometimes ponder why there are accounts that NEVER Re-Skeet others but then again I think.. Oh Oh Oh Pink
I sometimes ponder why there are accounts that NEVER Re-Skeet others but then again I think.. Oh Oh Oh Pink
August 16, 2025 at 9:07 PM
like the mysteries of Quantum Entanglements and the Taos Hum
I sometimes ponder why there are accounts that NEVER Re-Skeet others but then again I think.. Oh Oh Oh Pink
I sometimes ponder why there are accounts that NEVER Re-Skeet others but then again I think.. Oh Oh Oh Pink
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Unclench your buttocks
Is that anything?
*sighs*
Didn't think so
*missing our Unclench jaw friend *
Is that anything?
*sighs*
Didn't think so
*missing our Unclench jaw friend *
November 27, 2024 at 3:57 PM
Unclench your buttocks
Is that anything?
*sighs*
Didn't think so
*missing our Unclench jaw friend *
Is that anything?
*sighs*
Didn't think so
*missing our Unclench jaw friend *
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Hmm think I found the problem and it's not me.
Look.
It says right here in the table of content
that you're missing your humorous bone
Look.
It says right here in the table of content
that you're missing your humorous bone
October 1, 2023 at 3:05 PM
Hmm think I found the problem and it's not me.
Look.
It says right here in the table of content
that you're missing your humorous bone
Look.
It says right here in the table of content
that you're missing your humorous bone
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
There's a lot going on right now. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
- me, to my consciousness
- me, to my consciousness
March 2, 2025 at 10:31 PM
There's a lot going on right now. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
- me, to my consciousness
- me, to my consciousness
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
I can hear loud music from a nearby stadium and it's a beautiful choir of voices. Not sure what is going on but I love it.
November 8, 2024 at 11:57 PM
I can hear loud music from a nearby stadium and it's a beautiful choir of voices. Not sure what is going on but I love it.
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
the same people who wont pick up an oar are the ones complaining the loudest about the boat going in circles
August 11, 2025 at 10:35 PM
the same people who wont pick up an oar are the ones complaining the loudest about the boat going in circles
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
intercourse is when you bring food into the bedroom
December 9, 2025 at 6:18 AM
intercourse is when you bring food into the bedroom
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How many pull ups will you have to do to fly commercial?
December 9, 2025 at 2:12 AM
How many pull ups will you have to do to fly commercial?
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"PUT THE FUCKING CASH IN THE FUCKING BAG OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF!"
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
November 1, 2025 at 2:40 PM
"PUT THE FUCKING CASH IN THE FUCKING BAG OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF!"
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
And that was the last time I ever played Monopoly with the kids.
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
Her: How can you joke at a time like this?
Me: What? You mean, daytime?
(𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙤𝙧 𝘼𝙨 𝘼 𝘾𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢, 𝙐𝙎𝘼™️)
Me: What? You mean, daytime?
(𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙤𝙧 𝘼𝙨 𝘼 𝘾𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢, 𝙐𝙎𝘼™️)
November 8, 2024 at 11:20 AM
Her: How can you joke at a time like this?
Me: What? You mean, daytime?
(𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙤𝙧 𝘼𝙨 𝘼 𝘾𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢, 𝙐𝙎𝘼™️)
Me: What? You mean, daytime?
(𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙤𝙧 𝘼𝙨 𝘼 𝘾𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢, 𝙐𝙎𝘼™️)
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This day in history. 2003. In Melbourne Australia burglars made off with two four-inch Rembrandt etchings or as the homeowner called them, "me best beer coasters."
December 9, 2023 at 10:49 AM
This day in history. 2003. In Melbourne Australia burglars made off with two four-inch Rembrandt etchings or as the homeowner called them, "me best beer coasters."
Reposted by bacon popsicle 🕰️
One minute you think you have it all and then you risk everything on one last high-stakes game of Go Fish and suddenly all you have left are the memories and a sippy cup full of Gatorade and broken dreams.
December 8, 2025 at 2:30 PM
One minute you think you have it all and then you risk everything on one last high-stakes game of Go Fish and suddenly all you have left are the memories and a sippy cup full of Gatorade and broken dreams.