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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🧀
@gupton68.bsky.social
16K followers 1.4K following 2K posts
I’ve soiled my armour the man, the myth, the bellend my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🧀 @gupton68.bsky.social · Mar 18
How long after a tonsillectomy is it safe to give a blowjob?

~ asking for my wife (tonsils removed, August 2013)
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🧀 @gupton68.bsky.social · Jul 1
I just discovered that if you spend too long shaking it off in a public toilet it can get you into all sorts of trouble. Apparently you should only really be doing it to your own penis.
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🧀 @gupton68.bsky.social · May 18
My favouritest overs ranked:

10. feeling over the moon
9. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
8. The White Cliffs of Dover
7. do-overs
6. it’s over for you bitches
5. Bridge Over Troubled Water
4. Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture
3. The Overlook Hotel
2. 4 leaf clovers
1. Marty’s hoverboard
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jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Oct 14
This day in history. 1926. Winnie-the-Pooh was published. You see, the 1920s was a simpler time when children's authors didn't need a sense of humour.
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the-bearminator.bsky.social
The Bearminator @the-bearminator.bsky.social · 6h
If only every day really was like Sunday though.
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🧀 @gupton68.bsky.social · 23h
Someone at the supermarket asked if I knew where the cheese aisle was and it was just pure instinct to give them wrong directions so there was more cheese left for me.
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postlurker2025.bsky.social
Post-it @postlurker2025.bsky.social · 4d
My new favorite expletive is “Holy cheese!!”

Thank you for your attention on this matter
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frenchys-goldau.bsky.social
Frenchy's ghost prospecting and leader of ANTIFA @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 4d
I'm so old that my knees hurt even when I'm sleeping

- a memoir
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dadback.bsky.social
I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 15h
*inventing red velvet cake* ok, I love chocolate, but also when my poop looks like I just got fucked by the Kool-aid man, time to get bakin'
1 4 13
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elgecko.bsky.social
Tony @elgecko.bsky.social · 18h
Breakfast of champion: anti-depressants and an energy drink.
5 14
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kellalena.bsky.social
Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 11h
The art of listening without thinking about what you’re going to say next.
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kellalena.bsky.social
Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 14h
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am the stabbiest.
5 53 200
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jollyrobber.bsky.social
🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 14h
If her penchant for experimenting in the bedroom and the kitchen are comparable, you'd be wise to hold on to that one.
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cosmicclau.bsky.social
Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 1d
look i may well shake out half a tub of grated parmesan onto my plate of pasta but i always do so through the little holes and not the giant spoon hole because i'm a lady with manners dammit
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🧀 @gupton68.bsky.social · 6h
😂😂
Reposted by bloody bacon popsicle 🧀
kissabix.bsky.social
A Big Ail @kissabix.bsky.social · 18h
Making skin on mash because even I can't stand to be around my farts
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kattsdogma.bsky.social
kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · Mar 17
is it dusting, it’s dusting isn’t it
Your house is dusty? Try this
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🧀 @gupton68.bsky.social · 6h
😂😂
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gregthemiller.bsky.social
Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 1d
Rage Against the Muh Peen
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trickykat.bsky.social
trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 16h
if you mean do I like stroking your cat over and over, yes I suppose you can consider me petty
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gregthemiller.bsky.social
Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 11h
my cat is furious with me, but she has a good reason. it’s raining outside
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johnlyon.bsky.social
John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 12h
My bank's website is one letter off from a gross German porn site and it's annoying because I keep accidentally visiting my bank's website.
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stabke.bsky.social
stabke @stabke.bsky.social · 15h
Sure my dad may have put out a cigarette on my arm but Biggy Smalls put 24 carrots in his babygirl’s ear
2 10 24
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unfitz.bsky.social
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 16h
“I couldn’t agree more” is the ninja of insults.
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uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 16h
shhhhh… it was a really long drive
A small white compact vehicle rests on its side on a mattress at the curb on a suburban street,
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jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Mar 10
If your extended metaphor lasts more than four clauses see your doctor of philosophy.
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