Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Jimmer Cork-Bottle

@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social

14K followers 2K following 2.2K posts

From the twelve-winded sky. Profile pic 1972. Discord: jimmerthatisall My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2satfah44msc3khoojnhrvuj/feed/aaab3adsokgse

bsky.app

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 5m

🙂xxx

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 1d

Last night I dreamt I met God but he teased me about wetting the bed

3 17 45

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · Jun 1

Yes, by all means, autocorrect. Let’s describe me as a “long distance ruiner.”

3 76 300

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 10h

Yes I dangled a modifier, but I did it for you.

4 46 120

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 21h

Inside the house, the potential serial killer, box open on the table, tries to distract himself from the voices incessantly clamoring in his head. He knows that he’s just one last tiny push away from madness.

Outside in the driveway, a cat stares at his stolen treasure, laughing quietly to himself.

A single puzzle piece sits on the ground.

2 31 210

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · Dec 4

Me: *excited as bird flies up to me* Aw a bird friend, hey little bird!

Bird: Sorry, I thought you were someone else.

1 24 110

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · Apr 22

Wolf: Well doc, give it to me straight.

Wolf doctor: I'm sorry to tell you *lights up x-ray* but there are two bros inside you and they are lifting.

1 60 200

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 1d

Sorry your boyfriend thinks foreplay is a football pregame show.

23 91

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Oct 12

This day in history. 40. The ghost of the Virgin Mary supposedly appeared in Spain while she was still alive in Jerusalem get it together Catholics.

2 36 79

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 1d

“Someone you don’t know did something you don’t care about.” -social media notifications

3 38 130

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 1d

Has anyone checked on Costco? They haven't emailed me for nearly 40 minutes

4 21 100

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 2d

Them: Can you help me?

Me: I don’t work here.

Them: Oh, sorry. *leaves*

My boss: You need to stop doing that.

1 51 230

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d

“I’m in a sorry state.”

"I thought you called them provinces.“

1 45 130

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

“The cat is such a perfect symbol of beauty and superiority that it seems scarcely possible for any true aesthete and civilised cynic to do other than worship it.”

- H.P. Lovecraft

A hand holding a dripping wet, bulging-eyed, flat-faced cat looking sadly at the camera.

80 250 2K

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

[best read with a French accent]

“I am so very sorry sir, without a reservation, there is simply nothing I can do for you.”

2 photos of a fluffy black-and-white cat with a pencil-thin mustache. They appear to he looking up and speaking in the first, scowling in the second.

16 88 470

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 1d

Sorry has no tools.
Sorry has no duct tape.
Sorry doesn’t fix anything.

28 78

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

This is absolutely the last time I call an escort service and say “I’m not picky.”

Photo taken through a doorway into a room with two beds, one of which is occupied by a standing sheep.

29 56 400

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2d

i’m sure it’s fine

Two strips of wide clear plastic tape hold down the internal surround of an airplane window.

29 42 370

Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Oct 11

This day in history. 1961. Comedian Chico Marx died. His will was ruled invalid due to a missing provision, but he had kept insisting "You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause."