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Canadian Bacon

@tashaneedshelp.bsky.social

4.8K followers 1.1K following 1.5K posts

Just your friendly bitch with a bacon tattoo. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:smlooinqf3wzqi76fiugblgy/feed/aaagwxpjbtyuy

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · Nov 14

We’re all just a bunch of broken Doritos at the bottom of the bag.

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 1m

Thankful to be eating both pumpkin and apple pie for dinner tonight.

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human @bshuman.bsky.social · 12h

Life would be so much easier if it wasn’t so hard.

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Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 12h

Watching the sun come up like some kind of Stonehenge over here.

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Lil Miss Sinister Fairy Godbitch of the Burrow Mump 🧚‍♂️😈🌾 @fairygodmegan.bsky.social · 12h

She did what she needed to do:

Smoke more weed at the crack of dawn

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Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 1d

Being in a room full of people is called I'm never doing that again.

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Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · Feb 19

Terrifying if actually true: reality.

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AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · Mar 26

Him:
You have such beautiful eyes!

Me:
Thank you! I use them for crying

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 14h

Lowered expectations is the hot new trend.

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 22h

No, I’m not calm. I’ve just given up.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 24d

Boss: we’re gonna be doing random drug testing

Me: okay but I won’t try crack

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · Aug 3

1st base: kissing

2nd base: petting

base 10: math stuff

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☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 22h

Even a puddle can be deep if someone holds your face down in it until you drown.

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 3d

I could die from embarrassment if I hadn’t already died inside like twelve times already.

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 1d

I just finished unpacking my boxes, there’s no way I’m packing up and moving again!

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Bliss @blisskissed.bsky.social · 1d

Tonight I’m going to party like it’s…
never mind, it’s my bedtime.

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RXSarsparilla🎉 @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social · 2d

Now to figure out which pajamas I'll be wearing to work tomorrow.

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Phantom Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 1d

All of my shortcuts just lead to roadblocks

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

If I ever tell someone to “get my good side” in a pic, I’m probably talking about my butt

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 1d

Anything can be a puppet if you don’t care what happens to your hand

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Irrationally Calm @direbeard.bsky.social · Nov 23

Pretty rude to have anxiety unless you brought enough to share with everybody

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Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 1d

Feeling left out? Bathe in a tub filled with fermented apple juice to feel like a real in cider.

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 2d

Was gonna make dinner, but this wine isn’t gonna drink itself.

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 2d

I miss when clowns were going around terrorizing people, that seems like lighthearted fun now

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Jackie Bouvier @jackiebouvier.bsky.social · 9d

I keep buying clothes because they look great on the tall blonde model forgetting that I'm a short troll.

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 2d

That’s the worst of the worst! You deserve to go back to bed after such trauma.

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