Lock Wilford
@lockwilford.com
If you are looking for the other Lock Wilford you didn't find him.
My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky
My art: lockwilford.com
My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky
My art: lockwilford.com
Pinned
Lock Wilford
@lockwilford.com
· May 30
[Sex Shop]
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
Reposted by Lock Wilford
I like to go to zen gardens and shout at things.
November 27, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I like to go to zen gardens and shout at things.
The turkey has just exited the oven, it's almost time to eat!
November 27, 2025 at 8:29 PM
The turkey has just exited the oven, it's almost time to eat!
Remember to not discuss their ai mistress at Thanksgiving dinner
November 27, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Remember to not discuss their ai mistress at Thanksgiving dinner
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Jesus: This cranberry sauce represents my dead gelatinous body after the crucifixion.
Judas: Did that come out of a can?
Jesus: It was aluminum not silver Judas!
Judas: Did that come out of a can?
Jesus: It was aluminum not silver Judas!
November 25, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Jesus: This cranberry sauce represents my dead gelatinous body after the crucifixion.
Judas: Did that come out of a can?
Jesus: It was aluminum not silver Judas!
Judas: Did that come out of a can?
Jesus: It was aluminum not silver Judas!
Happy Thanksgiving y'all
November 27, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Happy Thanksgiving y'all
Reposted by Lock Wilford
[Thanksgiving]
Listen Grandma, we believe in originalism here so your vote doesn't count. Grandpa you have her vote, whipped topping or not?
Listen Grandma, we believe in originalism here so your vote doesn't count. Grandpa you have her vote, whipped topping or not?
November 23, 2025 at 10:39 PM
[Thanksgiving]
Listen Grandma, we believe in originalism here so your vote doesn't count. Grandpa you have her vote, whipped topping or not?
Listen Grandma, we believe in originalism here so your vote doesn't count. Grandpa you have her vote, whipped topping or not?
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Thanksgiving Tip:
To thicken your turkey gravy add a tablespoon of cum
To thicken your turkey gravy add a tablespoon of cum
November 25, 2024 at 7:32 PM
Thanksgiving Tip:
To thicken your turkey gravy add a tablespoon of cum
To thicken your turkey gravy add a tablespoon of cum
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Thanksgiving is the only day when there isn't any indecision about what's for dinner.
November 28, 2024 at 12:56 PM
Thanksgiving is the only day when there isn't any indecision about what's for dinner.
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Don't forget the true meaning of these holidays:
Christmas - Jesus' birth
Easter - Jesus' resurrection
Thanksgiving - Jesus' Death
Christmas - Jesus' birth
Easter - Jesus' resurrection
Thanksgiving - Jesus' Death
December 25, 2024 at 3:37 AM
Don't forget the true meaning of these holidays:
Christmas - Jesus' birth
Easter - Jesus' resurrection
Thanksgiving - Jesus' Death
Christmas - Jesus' birth
Easter - Jesus' resurrection
Thanksgiving - Jesus' Death
Reposted by Lock Wilford
[The Last Thanksgiving]
Jesus: *passing out the stuffing* This is my body. *passing the gravy* This is my blood. *picks up the cranberry sauce*
Judas: And what's that?
Jesus: Betrayal Judas, it's betrayal!
Jesus: *passing out the stuffing* This is my body. *passing the gravy* This is my blood. *picks up the cranberry sauce*
Judas: And what's that?
Jesus: Betrayal Judas, it's betrayal!
November 25, 2024 at 3:58 AM
[The Last Thanksgiving]
Jesus: *passing out the stuffing* This is my body. *passing the gravy* This is my blood. *picks up the cranberry sauce*
Judas: And what's that?
Jesus: Betrayal Judas, it's betrayal!
Jesus: *passing out the stuffing* This is my body. *passing the gravy* This is my blood. *picks up the cranberry sauce*
Judas: And what's that?
Jesus: Betrayal Judas, it's betrayal!
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Gonna make my family watch Schindler's List instead of football on Thanksgiving and when they're crying at the end I'm going to call them all antifa
November 23, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Gonna make my family watch Schindler's List instead of football on Thanksgiving and when they're crying at the end I'm going to call them all antifa
Reposted by Lock Wilford
*giving the family food poisoning on Thanksgiving* ...AND THAT'S JUST A FRACTION OF WHAT THE EUROPEANS DID TO THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLES!
November 23, 2025 at 10:34 PM
*giving the family food poisoning on Thanksgiving* ...AND THAT'S JUST A FRACTION OF WHAT THE EUROPEANS DID TO THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLES!
I'm filling this travel mug with lemon drop martini and there's nothing you can do to stop me
November 27, 2025 at 2:16 PM
I'm filling this travel mug with lemon drop martini and there's nothing you can do to stop me
Now we're ready for today
November 27, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Now we're ready for today
Back to the grind stone
November 27, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Back to the grind stone
Reposted by Lock Wilford
alright guys hear me out.. dumplings, ok now stay with me.. they’re full of ground turkey, stuffing, cranberry, diced celery and carrots, ok? but here’s the best part… the dipping sauce? gravy.
November 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
alright guys hear me out.. dumplings, ok now stay with me.. they’re full of ground turkey, stuffing, cranberry, diced celery and carrots, ok? but here’s the best part… the dipping sauce? gravy.
Just open the door for me
November 27, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Just open the door for me
I should be getting drunk right now
November 27, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I should be getting drunk right now
The never ending mystery of didn't I just grind a bud
November 27, 2025 at 2:56 AM
The never ending mystery of didn't I just grind a bud
I'm the only sibling showing up at Mom's tomorrow, I'm going to make them all regret it
November 27, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I'm the only sibling showing up at Mom's tomorrow, I'm going to make them all regret it
Publix had a liquor ad in today's paper that's going to cost me a fortune
November 27, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Publix had a liquor ad in today's paper that's going to cost me a fortune
Reposted by Lock Wilford
will people know blood smells like pennies once they're discontinued
November 27, 2025 at 1:59 AM
will people know blood smells like pennies once they're discontinued
Et comme ça, je te dis *ADIEU*
November 27, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Et comme ça, je te dis *ADIEU*
No other holiday makes me ponder disease quite like Thanksgiving
November 27, 2025 at 2:11 AM
No other holiday makes me ponder disease quite like Thanksgiving