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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford
@lockwilford.com
6.9K followers 2.6K following 8.1K posts
If you are looking for the other Lock Wilford you didn't find him. My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky My art: lockwilford.com
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · May 30
[Sex Shop]

Me: *holding 37 dildos*

Shopkeeper: may I help you?

Me: where are the fitting rooms?
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Reposted by Lock Wilford
ceej.online
ceej @ceej.online · 5h
penis de milo
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 7h
BTW tonight's chili mac with ziti substituted for macaroni was delicious
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 7h
You ever have a snotty booger that hangs on so tightly that once it's free of your nostril you feel badly eating it
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 7h
It definitely was
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 7h
How the fuck do I manage to open twenty apps in a matter of minutes
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 7h
I make mine dance with me and I can see her hating me a little bit more each time
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 7h
Also, Sunday and Tuesday are my off days
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 7h
That's right it's Many Martinis Monday
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 8h
Number four
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 8h
I try to drink at least two each day
1
Reposted by Lock Wilford
jakevig.bsky.social
Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 9h
A neighborhood kid just asked me how I celebrate "Ingenious People Day."
8 11 180
Reposted by Lock Wilford
riotgrlerin.bsky.social
RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 9h
arthritis is just early onset rigor mortis.
11 47 210
Reposted by Lock Wilford
frenchys-goldau.bsky.social
Frenchy's ghost prospecting and leader of ANTIFA @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 9h
*gets cum in previously unknown places*
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 9h
Just cancelled one of those three martinis
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 9h
I'm making chili mac and a fourth martini as we speak
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Reposted by Lock Wilford
lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 8d
Remember when you could bribe the cable guy to add the HBO inline decoder
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 4d
we settled on this shit app after the last shit app, I'll be damned if I move to another shit app
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Reposted by Lock Wilford
lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 4d
Anyone else feel like a witch each night before bed as you gather all the pills and salves for another night of ritual
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 2d
At six martinis I'll post hung bottom hog
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Reposted by Lock Wilford
lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 1d
Protesting is exercising one's first amendment, keeping the government closed because one isn't getting their way is terrorism
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 9h
Today's diet:

One double espresso
One banana
One yeast roll
Three lemon drop martinis
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 10h
I love this for me
1 5
Reposted by Lock Wilford
nappydolemite.bsky.social
Nappy DOOMlemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 10h
Also, fuck no
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Reposted by Lock Wilford
lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · Nov 24
If you say "Donald Trump" three times in a mirror an oligarch gets his way
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lockwilford.com
Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 10h
In France, Trump is called a Racist Royale
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