Lock Wilford
@lockwilford.com
If you are looking for the other Lock Wilford you didn't find him.
My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky
My art: lockwilford.com
My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky
My art: lockwilford.com
Pinned
Lock Wilford
@lockwilford.com
· May 30
[Sex Shop]
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
It was nearly a twelve hour day at work, I'm exhausted
November 14, 2025 at 11:36 PM
It was nearly a twelve hour day at work, I'm exhausted
Reposted by Lock Wilford
i’m like a magician in the sense that my magic trick is posting so bad that it doesn’t even seem real.
November 14, 2025 at 12:08 AM
i’m like a magician in the sense that my magic trick is posting so bad that it doesn’t even seem real.
Reposted by Lock Wilford
these are not even the files lol
November 13, 2025 at 11:40 PM
these are not even the files lol
Reposted by Lock Wilford
You all deserve this medal
November 13, 2025 at 11:40 PM
You all deserve this medal
I was told to basically make myself scarce from noon to two o'clock, so a coworker and I took a two hour lunch on the company's dime
November 13, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I was told to basically make myself scarce from noon to two o'clock, so a coworker and I took a two hour lunch on the company's dime
Reposted by Lock Wilford
captain the smegma, its too thick
the phasers arent having an effect
the phasers arent having an effect
November 13, 2025 at 12:11 AM
captain the smegma, its too thick
the phasers arent having an effect
the phasers arent having an effect
Reposted by Lock Wilford
My experience tells me, you get the size dick you deserve.
November 12, 2025 at 11:07 PM
My experience tells me, you get the size dick you deserve.
Karoline Leavitt comes from a long line of sphincters
November 12, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Karoline Leavitt comes from a long line of sphincters
Reposted by Lock Wilford
I find people who throw around big words here superfluous, aggressively obfuscating, and entirely deleterious to cogent discourse.
November 12, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I find people who throw around big words here superfluous, aggressively obfuscating, and entirely deleterious to cogent discourse.
Reposted by Lock Wilford
do you think snuffleupagus uses his trunk to jork it?
November 12, 2025 at 10:20 PM
do you think snuffleupagus uses his trunk to jork it?
Reposted by Lock Wilford
I put the POS in shitposter
November 12, 2025 at 10:27 PM
I put the POS in shitposter
Reposted by Lock Wilford
for me to follow you back you have to defeat my seven evil ex mutuals
November 12, 2025 at 10:22 PM
for me to follow you back you have to defeat my seven evil ex mutuals
Midnight says I am not going anywhere
November 12, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Midnight says I am not going anywhere
The birds are noisy this morning
November 12, 2025 at 11:58 AM
The birds are noisy this morning
If my skeet offended you it was probably the interference from tonight's auroras borealis
November 12, 2025 at 12:28 AM
If my skeet offended you it was probably the interference from tonight's auroras borealis
Reposted by Lock Wilford
i hope the doctor fixes me tomorrow
November 12, 2025 at 12:06 AM
i hope the doctor fixes me tomorrow
Reposted by Lock Wilford
You’re at Daft
I need you at Punk
I need you at Punk
You’re at Dire
I need you at Straights
I need you at Straights
You’re at Captain.
I need you at Tennille.
I need you at Tennille.
November 12, 2025 at 12:13 AM
You’re at Daft
I need you at Punk
I need you at Punk
Reposted by Lock Wilford
When the post doesn’t get a like the fifth time posting it
May 13, 2025 at 4:09 PM
When the post doesn’t get a like the fifth time posting it
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Ope, could you let me repost right past you there.
November 11, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Ope, could you let me repost right past you there.
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Jesus: This turkey makes you sleepy, it represents my three days of being dead.
Judas: And what's that inside?
Jesus: Get stuffed Judas!
Judas: And what's that inside?
Jesus: Get stuffed Judas!
November 25, 2024 at 4:02 AM
Jesus: This turkey makes you sleepy, it represents my three days of being dead.
Judas: And what's that inside?
Jesus: Get stuffed Judas!
Judas: And what's that inside?
Jesus: Get stuffed Judas!
It's Hallowthanksmas!
Next year I will be celebrating just one holiday that I am calling Hallowthanksmas. We will dress up in costumes, eat turkey and gravy, and exchange gifts all in one day.
November 11, 2025 at 11:14 PM
It's Hallowthanksmas!