dave the turkey crab
@crabbydaddy.bsky.social
CrabbyDaCrab from Twitter
IT’S A JOKE PEOPLE. FFS 🙄
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
IT’S A JOKE PEOPLE. FFS 🙄
mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️🌈
Pinned
When dancing with the right person, you don’t need music.
carrying peanuts in my pocket in case i find myself in a room with an elephant
November 30, 2025 at 12:38 AM
carrying peanuts in my pocket in case i find myself in a room with an elephant
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I might have just used a toy to get my cat to scratch a spot on my leg I can’t reach in this position
November 29, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I might have just used a toy to get my cat to scratch a spot on my leg I can’t reach in this position
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I often feel like I’m falling forward when I refocus my eyes from far to near. Do I need bifocals? Am I dying? Tune in next week to find out
November 29, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I often feel like I’m falling forward when I refocus my eyes from far to near. Do I need bifocals? Am I dying? Tune in next week to find out
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Goods is too modest. They should be called baked greats.
November 29, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Goods is too modest. They should be called baked greats.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
hot tubs are like boats
i don't want to own one
just have friends that do
i don't want to own one
just have friends that do
November 29, 2025 at 11:25 PM
hot tubs are like boats
i don't want to own one
just have friends that do
i don't want to own one
just have friends that do
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
MF'ers finding love on Bluesky.
November 29, 2025 at 8:07 PM
MF'ers finding love on Bluesky.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
WHO ARE YOU CALLING ILLITERIT?
November 29, 2025 at 10:41 PM
WHO ARE YOU CALLING ILLITERIT?
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
"ChatGPT thinks I made a great point" is the "my mom says I'm handsome" of our time
November 29, 2025 at 9:31 PM
"ChatGPT thinks I made a great point" is the "my mom says I'm handsome" of our time
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
There’s only one piece of breaking news
that we all want to hear and celebrate.
that we all want to hear and celebrate.
November 29, 2025 at 9:32 PM
There’s only one piece of breaking news
that we all want to hear and celebrate.
that we all want to hear and celebrate.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I’m wanna get drunk and play pinball.
November 29, 2025 at 11:39 PM
I’m wanna get drunk and play pinball.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
It's been a long few days.
November 29, 2025 at 10:30 PM
It's been a long few days.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
The doctor took two tubes of blood from me and is refusing to put it back
November 29, 2025 at 11:02 PM
The doctor took two tubes of blood from me and is refusing to put it back
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
Dance like everyone wishes they weren’t watching
November 29, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Dance like everyone wishes they weren’t watching
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I drink boxed wine because it's not available by the suitcase.
November 29, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I drink boxed wine because it's not available by the suitcase.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
My home cooked meals are not a victimless crime.
November 29, 2025 at 11:52 PM
My home cooked meals are not a victimless crime.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
I should become a sommelier for gravy
November 29, 2025 at 2:00 PM
I should become a sommelier for gravy
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
falling for you like a snowflake
hanging onto you like an icicle
hanging onto you like an icicle
November 29, 2025 at 6:54 PM
falling for you like a snowflake
hanging onto you like an icicle
hanging onto you like an icicle
i still haven't found what I'm looking for either
November 29, 2025 at 11:37 PM
i still haven't found what I'm looking for either
her: you're losing your touch
me: i guess i only have four senses left then
me: i guess i only have four senses left then
November 29, 2025 at 11:15 PM
her: you're losing your touch
me: i guess i only have four senses left then
me: i guess i only have four senses left then
Rocking a PRS at the brewery.
November 29, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Rocking a PRS at the brewery.
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
you all should just give me the password to your account so I can post good for you
November 29, 2025 at 5:56 PM
you all should just give me the password to your account so I can post good for you
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
If you ever overhear someone say “what the fuck” immediately followed by “geez Louise”, congratulations - you found me
November 26, 2025 at 12:44 AM
If you ever overhear someone say “what the fuck” immediately followed by “geez Louise”, congratulations - you found me
out of the three guys she could have chosen i came in fifth
November 29, 2025 at 7:53 PM
out of the three guys she could have chosen i came in fifth
Reposted by dave the turkey crab
The only thing higher than grocery prices right now is me
November 29, 2025 at 5:09 PM
The only thing higher than grocery prices right now is me