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Juiceticles

@juiceticles.bsky.social

4.7K followers 860 following 1.4K posts

Carpenter by day, shadow puppet prodigy by night bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabbu3r6cxpi

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · Mar 3

Had that nightmare again where I'm climbing Mt. Everest terrified because I forgot my phone charger

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 44m

In a love triangle between dehydration and clenching my jaw.

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Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 2d

My husband bought a giant Costco size bag of sugary candy for Halloween instead the chocolatey bag...
Why does he hate me so much?!

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 4d

Who Am I Kidding: a memoir

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 7h

I’m like if Spirit Halloween stores were a person

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 22h

Everything tastes better with a dollop of Daisy

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 2h

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 23h

WILL BATTEN DOWN YOUR HATCHES FOR SOUP

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braindro @raindro.bsky.social · 9d

cattle implies the existence of dogtle

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 16h

Welcome to Shitposters Anonymous, my name is Jess and I enjoy romantic walks to the fridge, playing Diablo with my tits out, eating beef jerky, and telling people about my butthole online

I first realized I was a shitposter in 2010 and my attempts at stopping have been unsuccessful thus far

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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 6h

Feels like my brain almost fits in my skull today, refreshing.

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Wonder Kitten @wonderkitten.bsky.social · 4h

Big ol truck riding my ass on the way home from church like he knows my kink

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WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 4h

Sorry I’m late, I was busy prepping my beaver for Thanksgiving.

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 4h

I know the croc charms make you want to get into these sweatpant jeans

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 4h

i had to give up microwave burritos the sexual tension was overwhelming

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Hermshu @hermshu.bsky.social · 5h

My thumbs aren’t strong enough to post in two places.

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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 18h

“I shaved for you,” is a great icebreaker on a first date.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 7h

my brain’s antivirus wont allow me to download what you’re saying

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 8h

if it doesn’t rain when you’re sad
that means mother nature doesn’t like you

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 8h

Yes I dangled a modifier, but I did it for you.

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 4d

Pun like everything is intended.

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 7h

Not to brag, but I've never considered if something was against my better judgment

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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 1d

If sitting at your kitchen table slightly drunk, watching the sunset, and listening to those old songs that meant something is wrong, then I don't want to be right

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 8h

Autocorrect automatically adds imaginary when I type "friend."

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Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 16h

Teabagging the toilet water just to feel something

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 11h

Lowered expectations is the hot new trend.

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