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chalza.bsky.social
Charlie Alzamora
@chalza.bsky.social
3.7K followers 3.1K following 1K posts
People are always telling me to shut up.
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
batkaren.bsky.social
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 9h
“You look good,” she says.

“What, this old thing?” I ask, gesturing to my face.
2 10 44
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
clueheywood.bsky.social
Clue Heywood @clueheywood.bsky.social · 10h
Americans love to watch football while having moderate to severe ulcerative colitis
10 9 140
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social
Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 21h
When the federal government says that crime is out of control, they are projecting
10 48 270
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
oneyebogey.bsky.social
Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 13h
Alas, the hamburger needed more help than the box could provide.
3 56 160
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
bluesnowflake.bsky.social
Blue Fairylicious Girl🧚 @bluesnowflake.bsky.social · 15h
I don’t want to brag but I can shove 5 Reese PB cups in my mouth- 7 if I’m stoned, if you’re into that 😬
62 17 210
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
im-all-id.me
andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 14h
I'm going to buy a dog and tell it all of my problems
35 45 250
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
klaybourne.bsky.social
Kat Alderson 🎉 @klaybourne.bsky.social · 14h
me: *in Warcraft, fighting a rare elite alone* Oh, you fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you and your whole family. I'm gonna wear your guts for garters! They're gonna be picking up bits of you for DECADES!

my brother walking in from next door: are you talking to that dude from the HOA again?
1 8 41
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
kattsdogma.bsky.social
kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 14h
me, during turbulence on a flight: omg i think we’re gonna crash aaaarrrrggghhh !!

also me: i’ll have the goldfish crackers. and the plantains. thanks
2 19 54
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
thecard.bsky.social
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 21h
Just call me the cost of living, because I’m spiraling out of control.
2 4 19
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
kellalena.bsky.social
Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 16h
In a love triangle between dehydration and clenching my jaw.
4 27 69
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
itsabbyyep.bsky.social
Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 16h
I don't know why this two-year-old at the pool said "how dare you" to her dad but I'm on her side
4 15 190
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
wakeupangry.bsky.social
Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 19h
Well this was a good October film.
Letterboxd image of “Eraserhead” 1977 directed by David Lynch.
1 6 34
chalza.bsky.social
Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 17h
No, I'm not a martial arts expert. You're Kung Fusing me with someone else.
2 21 67
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
saga.iam.bi
Saga, sighs queen @saga.iam.bi · 19h
I need a man with an EU passport to marry me
2 4 22
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
mardigroan.bsky.social
Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 19h
There are smart phones and even smart water. I need smart pants to let me know when I accidentally left my fly open.
1 7 16
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social
Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 20h
Never doubt my ability to leave the house looking like I was just thrown from a moving vehicle.
7 9 73
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
bluesnowflake.bsky.social
Blue Fairylicious Girl🧚 @bluesnowflake.bsky.social · 19h
I hope Bad Bunny wears a tan suit at the superbowl 🤣
36 58 420
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
michelleroy78.bsky.social
Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 21h
I'm getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand.
9 45 350
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 2d
Sex and/or the City
2 13 35
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
m1keonl1ne.bsky.social
m-m-m-mike☺︎!👻 @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · 1d
Quitting pumpkin spice but can't fight the craving?

Get your fix with the new pumpkin patch!
8 15
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
alldolledup44.bsky.social
Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 20h
I just wanna be a cat laying on a heater vent.
9 39 190
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social
The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 20h
i had to give up microwave burritos the sexual tension was overwhelming
1 19 87
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
oldfriend99.bsky.social
josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 20h
I would never name my uncle "Fester"
16 23 180
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
qwertying.bsky.social
Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 22h
The only thing more terrifying than a ghost is the sound of your vegetarian cousin discovering the breadcrumb stuffing is cooked inside the turkey.
1 4 15
Reposted by Charlie Alzamora
riotgrlerin.bsky.social
RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 21h
boomer: you're lazy

millennial: you ruined the economy

gen z: tf is an encyclopedia britannica
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