Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
@hormonella.bsky.social
My body is not my temple
It’s more like my bar and grill
It’s more like my bar and grill
Pinned
good morning to everyone except people who are “ready for Christmas”
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
It's beginning to look a lot like crisis.
November 28, 2025 at 6:57 PM
It's beginning to look a lot like crisis.
Italian wedding soup is just regular wedding soup with more stabbing
December 6, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Italian wedding soup is just regular wedding soup with more stabbing
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
You haven’t met your deductible, Charlie Brown
December 4, 2025 at 7:36 PM
You haven’t met your deductible, Charlie Brown
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown.
December 3, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown.
didn’t understand why the toothpaste didn’t work until I realized the top was still on the tube in case you’re looking for someone to figure shit out
December 5, 2025 at 1:42 PM
didn’t understand why the toothpaste didn’t work until I realized the top was still on the tube in case you’re looking for someone to figure shit out
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
I can’t cook and I don’t like cleaning but boy oh boy can I also make you unhappy
December 4, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I can’t cook and I don’t like cleaning but boy oh boy can I also make you unhappy
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
If God really were a woman surely she'd have made dicks vibrate?
December 4, 2025 at 2:21 PM
If God really were a woman surely she'd have made dicks vibrate?
If your date is more than 30 minutes late, you’re allowed to start having sex without them.
I don’t care if it’s a lunch date. Those are the rules.
I don’t care if it’s a lunch date. Those are the rules.
December 4, 2025 at 2:08 PM
If your date is more than 30 minutes late, you’re allowed to start having sex without them.
I don’t care if it’s a lunch date. Those are the rules.
I don’t care if it’s a lunch date. Those are the rules.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
anything can be a christmas movie if you watch it at home alone
December 3, 2025 at 9:39 PM
anything can be a christmas movie if you watch it at home alone
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
logging in for my fix of surface level connections
December 3, 2025 at 12:48 PM
logging in for my fix of surface level connections
good morning to everyone except assholes who send Christmas cards with glitter
December 3, 2025 at 2:23 PM
good morning to everyone except assholes who send Christmas cards with glitter
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Are you a sucker for clickbait? Take this quiz to find out!
November 22, 2024 at 9:33 PM
Are you a sucker for clickbait? Take this quiz to find out!
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
It’s Giving Tuesday.
*gives you a headache*
*gives you a headache*
December 2, 2025 at 8:01 PM
It’s Giving Tuesday.
*gives you a headache*
*gives you a headache*
sixth in line to the throne takes on a different meaning when you’re not in the royal family but in a dive bar
December 2, 2025 at 8:08 PM
sixth in line to the throne takes on a different meaning when you’re not in the royal family but in a dive bar
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Dear Potential Spam, I don't even want to answer the phone when it's someone I know
December 1, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Dear Potential Spam, I don't even want to answer the phone when it's someone I know
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Wow, what a fucking idiot!!
*me scrolling through my old posts
*me scrolling through my old posts
December 1, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Wow, what a fucking idiot!!
*me scrolling through my old posts
*me scrolling through my old posts
Because I am his access to food and sunshine and affection, my dog thinks I am a god.
When I inadvertently shock him on the nose, he is sure I am.
When I inadvertently shock him on the nose, he is sure I am.
December 1, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Because I am his access to food and sunshine and affection, my dog thinks I am a god.
When I inadvertently shock him on the nose, he is sure I am.
When I inadvertently shock him on the nose, he is sure I am.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
The easiest way to cheer me up is by walking into a glass door you don't see with a full cup of coffee.
December 1, 2025 at 2:28 PM
The easiest way to cheer me up is by walking into a glass door you don't see with a full cup of coffee.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
God (watching humans): I’m beginning to regret taking that seventh day off.
November 21, 2025 at 12:40 PM
God (watching humans): I’m beginning to regret taking that seventh day off.
political commentators don’t use the word porcine enough
November 30, 2025 at 8:04 PM
political commentators don’t use the word porcine enough
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Therapist: have you ever stopped to think-
Me: no
Me: no
November 30, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Therapist: have you ever stopped to think-
Me: no
Me: no
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Carol of the Bells, Dave of the Tinnitus
November 29, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Carol of the Bells, Dave of the Tinnitus
Sudoku? Wordle?
Try finding his poop in the wet leaves before the dog does.
Try finding his poop in the wet leaves before the dog does.
November 29, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Sudoku? Wordle?
Try finding his poop in the wet leaves before the dog does.
Try finding his poop in the wet leaves before the dog does.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
sorry I went through your dog door and rearranged your furniture
November 29, 2025 at 2:32 AM
sorry I went through your dog door and rearranged your furniture
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Happy “Unsubscribe” to Black Friday deal emails, to all who celebrate!
November 28, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Happy “Unsubscribe” to Black Friday deal emails, to all who celebrate!