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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

@hormonella.bsky.social

3.5K followers 2.8K following 890 posts

My body is not my temple It’s more like my bar and grill

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · Jun 22

Much like the current administration, I have no idea what I’m going to fuck up today.

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 2d

People don't really like it when I'm gerrymandering the pizza to get the most toppings

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Kelly🆘🇺🇸 @kimtopher22.bsky.social · 23h

Peace, love and punch Nazis.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 1h

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my day but perhaps my greatest regret is buying the dog that stuffed animal with the squeaker in it.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 6h

Get a big box!

Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 14h

Dave & Buster’s, where a drunk can be a kid

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 14h

The only acceptable form of turkey bacon, is turkey wrapped in sliced bacon.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 11h

imagine hating me and I’m just over here licking yogurt off the kitchen counter

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 12h

Do it!

Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 22h

You’re like if a cold stethoscope was a personality.

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 1d

One more time but with less feeling.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 1d

why bother setting an alarm when you can wake to the sound of your dog sucking his junk

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 2d

I’m like if Spirit Halloween stores were a person

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 2d

My superpower is letting my sarcasm make me look like an idiot.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 2d

If, by false idols, you mean espresso machines then, yes, I worship false idols.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 3d

that one time

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Amish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 3d

Trump’s not targeting political violence. He’s inciting political violence against his political opposition.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 3d

🏆 @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 3d

I hope your dog lives long enough to grow grizzled and cranky and wise. And if not, let them at least teach you how to live in the absolute moment 🐾

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 3d

[ scrubs dog barf out of carpet ]

[ checks for abs ]

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · Jul 2

Ladies, I’m not usually one to give advice, but he’s not an asshole when he drinks. He’s an asshole. He just can’t hide it when he drinks.

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 4d

Following me improves your credit score.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 4d

How about they award him the Nobel Peace Prize posthumously?

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 5d

I’ll just migrate from my chair to my bed. That’s enough platform hopping for today.

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Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺

BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 17d

kash patel eats grape nuts rectally and enjoys them

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 5d

“I don’t need to wear deodorant”

~ people who need to wear deodorant

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