Theciscokidder
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theciscokidder.bsky.social
Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
Trying to make you laugh. Stay home dad. Left af. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

he/him

My fav posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaaczmcypwicq

Everyone else's fav posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaabm4x5djh5k
Pinned
You can never be too safe when driving. *puts on condom*
Reposted by Theciscokidder
my cousin: we’re all checked into the hotel and thought we’d come over and hangout for a bit
me: no
November 27, 2025 at 12:22 AM
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Please stop saying spatchcock.
November 27, 2025 at 12:08 AM
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I just emptied the trash on my phone of all the images I've deleted over the last month and my phone literally weighs less.
November 26, 2025 at 3:57 AM
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I found one of my childhood photos
November 26, 2025 at 3:59 AM
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First step of the plan has already failed so it’s actually not over for you bitches.
I have developed a plan.

It’s over for you, bitches.
November 25, 2025 at 8:55 PM
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I know how to make contact with the dead. I've got it down to a séance.
November 25, 2025 at 8:26 PM
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I made myself a big cup of tea. It was chaigantic.
November 22, 2025 at 8:09 PM
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Look i really think you ought to know that i just farted
November 26, 2025 at 10:18 PM
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Cleaning out that turkey cavity turned out to be a bigger chore than I expected.

Chasing the turkey was a big problem too. Next year, I'm going to kill it first.
November 26, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Now and Later isn't just a candy, it's also how I like my sex.
November 27, 2025 at 12:25 AM
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*takes a leaf blower to my thoughts
November 24, 2025 at 8:24 PM
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If you’re telling people what to do or how to bsky, I will notice and it’ll go in your file.
November 25, 2025 at 7:05 PM
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I have developed a plan.

It’s over for you, bitches.
November 25, 2025 at 6:30 PM
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A spittoon and a singing bowl walk into a dark den of deep meditation. Zen says is none of you lost. Singing bowl spits out a mallet and spittoon says see I told you, if you got me hammered they would not be able to tell us apart, that was my cowboy
November 26, 2025 at 5:39 AM
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I’ve never paid for sex.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
November 26, 2025 at 9:15 PM
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gtfo if your cranberry sauce isn’t shaped like a can like nature intended
November 26, 2025 at 1:57 PM
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how im rolling up to thanksgiving
November 26, 2025 at 6:40 AM
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I prefer solitude too much to compromise with the world.
November 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
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Serving it like this.
Raw.
Deconstructed.
Cold.
Apple pie ala nope.
November 26, 2025 at 9:03 PM
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(To the tune of It’s Hip To Be Square) it’s gay to be straight
November 24, 2025 at 2:42 PM
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Just a reminder... spending time with family out of "obligation" is toxic and a joy sucker.

If you don't like your family - create a "social family" you do like. - THAT is where you should be spending Thanksgiving.❤️
November 26, 2025 at 5:29 PM
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Thanksgiving is gonna be lit.
November 26, 2025 at 8:09 PM
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Weeks ago, the (new) fan was making a tapping sound so I pulled it apart and tightened the blade. Tapping stopped. Now it has returned. I was about to pull it apart to inspect it again when I looked down and noticed the fan leg touching the wall. Moved it away from the wall. Tapping stopped. 👀🤦‍♀️😂
November 26, 2025 at 7:47 AM
Reposted by Theciscokidder