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Pessimus Prime

@pessimusprime.bsky.social

8.8K followers 400 following 3.3K posts

I invented the internet See mah tweets https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7nvnng43seboe73s5khzmkfw/feed/aaaloenm2yxgs

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Reposted by Pessimus Prime

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 1d

Werner Herzog voice: And this man, Joe, known for his Cotton Eye, where did he come from? And, perhaps more importantly for our story, where did he go?

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 1d

Pretty sure it's about Cotton-eyed Joe

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 1d

Rednex, ABBA and IKEA. Masterful exports

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 1d

Werner Herzog voice: And this man, Joe, known for his Cotton Eye, where did he come from? And, perhaps more importantly for our story, where did he go?

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 1d

Werner Herzog DO IT

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 1d

The song "Cotton Eyed Joe" raises more questions about the eponymous protagonist than it answers

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 12d

Broke chatGPT by asking it to reroute its own encryptions

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 19d

I'm *puts the phone to my ear* old

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 19d

I remember seeing or hearing a talk once where the bloke or woman said how paying attention was important (or something like that). Changed my life.

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 23d

Unless n>1. RIP werelands

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 25d

Can't believe you don't wear shoes at work

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 25d

Was down at the aquarium, yeah, and this guy knighted a long fish. Sir eel

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 25d

Reviews of Wonka's factory

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆
"Fun tour, loved the Oompa Loompas"

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"DELICIOUS! Chocolate river - WHAT?! Mind blown"

⭐☆☆☆☆
"Turned me into a fucking blueberry"

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Reposted by Pessimus Prime

Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · Sep 21

Yes I know them, we went to Twitter together.

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Reposted by Pessimus Prime

Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 26d

is it a bird is it a plane is it the loss of my ability to recognize everyday objects

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 26d

Sounds like my first date:

Starbucks -> bra's stuck -> sack burst

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 27d

Never forget

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 27d

Your friendly reminder that Starbucks is an anagram of bra's stuck

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 27d

I pronounce baguette with a soft g because I went to France once

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Reposted by Pessimus Prime

Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · Sep 17

A beautiful woman keeps calling and saying, “This is an attempt to collect a debt.” I hear you. A debt of love

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · Sep 19

UK productivity up 25%- Analysts put it down to huge reductions in screen time and a 100,000x increase in the sales of "printed material of an adult nature"

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Reposted by Pessimus Prime

That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝 @tanner68.bsky.social · Sep 1

Every Nigel is an asshole and also British.

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · Sep 18

Sea level rise is inescapable. If people weren't prepared to listen to Busted's prophecy (and absolute bop) Year 3000, they're not gonna listen to Extinction Rebellion or Greta Thunberg

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · Sep 18

Unpopular opinion, but I feel sorry for Nigel Farage. I mean, imagine waking up every single morning and remembering that you're Nigel Farage

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Reposted by Pessimus Prime

Moose Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · Sep 18

There is a cure for buffetphobia, but first you’ve got to want to help yourself.

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