mr potato
@tweetpotato314.bsky.social
“it’s even worse than it appears but, it’s alright”
Pinned
mr potato
@tweetpotato314.bsky.social
· Sep 14
gonna start using social media less and use the time saved to hit myself in the head with a shovel
Reposted by mr potato
cashier: can take your order?
me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)
me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)
November 11, 2024 at 12:13 AM
cashier: can take your order?
me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)
me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)
Reposted by mr potato
My niece is drawing everyone's picture, one by one revealing our deepest insecurities like a she's in a Stephen King book
November 27, 2025 at 7:15 PM
My niece is drawing everyone's picture, one by one revealing our deepest insecurities like a she's in a Stephen King book
Reposted by mr potato
TP314 Sotd
Alice's Restaurant - Original 1967 Recording
YouTube video by Stiletto
youtu.be
November 28, 2024 at 11:06 AM
TP314 Sotd
Reposted by mr potato
Reposted by mr potato
What I don't get about American history is during the Revolutionary War period everyone was named things like "John Adams".
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
November 26, 2025 at 4:47 PM
What I don't get about American history is during the Revolutionary War period everyone was named things like "John Adams".
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
Reposted by mr potato
Studio Sale!
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
Shop – whatmaddness
whatmaddness.com
November 24, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Studio Sale!
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
November 26, 2025 at 2:04 PM
[argument at thanksgiving dinner]
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
wife: *whispering to me* don’t start taking sides this time
me: why not? *sliding roast potatoes in pocket* they're too busy yelling to notice
Reposted by mr potato
idiot guy: i'm like the wolf i'm stalking my prey alone through the forest and being raw as fuck even if i'm in a group i'm the alpha
actual wolf: i love my friends so much!!! i love to romp and kiss my bros and work together as a family <3 awooo etc etc have you seen the puppies oh my god come see
actual wolf: i love my friends so much!!! i love to romp and kiss my bros and work together as a family <3 awooo etc etc have you seen the puppies oh my god come see
November 26, 2025 at 2:17 AM
idiot guy: i'm like the wolf i'm stalking my prey alone through the forest and being raw as fuck even if i'm in a group i'm the alpha
actual wolf: i love my friends so much!!! i love to romp and kiss my bros and work together as a family <3 awooo etc etc have you seen the puppies oh my god come see
actual wolf: i love my friends so much!!! i love to romp and kiss my bros and work together as a family <3 awooo etc etc have you seen the puppies oh my god come see
Reposted by mr potato
One of my best friends was raised JW, and I asked him the other day if they believed in the devil, since they don’t believe in Hell. He said “Very much so.”
And all I could think was, “But where does he LIVE?”
And all I could think was, “But where does he LIVE?”
November 26, 2025 at 1:40 AM
One of my best friends was raised JW, and I asked him the other day if they believed in the devil, since they don’t believe in Hell. He said “Very much so.”
And all I could think was, “But where does he LIVE?”
And all I could think was, “But where does he LIVE?”
doing the dishes in my sink so the guy coming to fix my heating doesn’t know i eat breakfast
November 25, 2025 at 1:24 PM
doing the dishes in my sink so the guy coming to fix my heating doesn’t know i eat breakfast
kind of shitty that we nail shoes to horse’s feet when their hooves are literally made of glue
November 25, 2025 at 1:22 PM
kind of shitty that we nail shoes to horse’s feet when their hooves are literally made of glue
Reposted by mr potato
I dont care about scaring the hoes. The hoes are wrong
November 24, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I dont care about scaring the hoes. The hoes are wrong
Reposted by mr potato
he died doing what he loved. crashing a hot air balloon into the eiffel tower in an effort to tell people what kind of sex organs his upcoming child would have
November 24, 2025 at 12:26 PM
he died doing what he loved. crashing a hot air balloon into the eiffel tower in an effort to tell people what kind of sex organs his upcoming child would have
Reposted by mr potato
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
November 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
dr: lets do two truths and a lie
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
November 21, 2025 at 9:21 PM
dr: lets do two truths and a lie
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
TP314 Sotd
The Killers & Bruce Springsteen: Encore At The Garden
YouTube video by TheKillersMusic
youtu.be
November 21, 2025 at 2:10 PM
TP314 Sotd
i accept grok painting him as morally superior to jesus christ and more athletically gifted than lebron james but i will NOT STAND for bear grylls erasure
November 20, 2025 at 10:15 PM
i accept grok painting him as morally superior to jesus christ and more athletically gifted than lebron james but i will NOT STAND for bear grylls erasure
if i found out ryan seacreast was keeping information from me i would say “ok, have it your way ryan secrets”
November 20, 2025 at 6:22 PM
if i found out ryan seacreast was keeping information from me i would say “ok, have it your way ryan secrets”
[sinking in quicksand]
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
November 19, 2025 at 3:00 PM
[sinking in quicksand]
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: dude i’m so f’n thirsty
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
November 19, 2025 at 12:37 PM
me: dude i’m so f’n thirsty
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
the auto collision shop by my job put up a new sign which kind of blocks the view of oncoming traffic and i gotta say…well played
November 16, 2025 at 2:05 PM
the auto collision shop by my job put up a new sign which kind of blocks the view of oncoming traffic and i gotta say…well played
they should leave an empty page at the end of history books to signify that the future is up to you…i’d draw a dragon with a huge wang on it
November 15, 2025 at 4:46 AM
they should leave an empty page at the end of history books to signify that the future is up to you…i’d draw a dragon with a huge wang on it
Reposted by mr potato
Here is your semi-annual reminder that I do draw stuff sometimes & have an online store: shop.roxiqt.com 👻
October 28, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Here is your semi-annual reminder that I do draw stuff sometimes & have an online store: shop.roxiqt.com 👻
Reposted by mr potato
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
November 9, 2025 at 5:44 AM
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that