Ben Rosen
@benrosen.bsky.social
WINTER OLYMPIC ATHLETE: *does the most impressive and dangerous athletic maneuver I have ever seen in my life*
COMMENTATOR: oooh she has to be disappointed with that run. if she commits self harm we would all understand
COMMENTATOR: oooh she has to be disappointed with that run. if she commits self harm we would all understand
February 7, 2026 at 5:07 PM
WINTER OLYMPIC ATHLETE: *does the most impressive and dangerous athletic maneuver I have ever seen in my life*
COMMENTATOR: oooh she has to be disappointed with that run. if she commits self harm we would all understand
COMMENTATOR: oooh she has to be disappointed with that run. if she commits self harm we would all understand
my wife loves me because i’m handsome. yeah i handsome money to her to go shopping. folks
February 6, 2026 at 1:41 AM
my wife loves me because i’m handsome. yeah i handsome money to her to go shopping. folks
*guy who has the wrong takeaway from the epstein files* he was doing email too much. thats too much screentime
February 3, 2026 at 4:47 PM
*guy who has the wrong takeaway from the epstein files* he was doing email too much. thats too much screentime
every epstein email exchange is like
TENURED PROFESSOR: jeffrey,, another wonderful trip with your "friend's" . i hope to visit your wild wild island aggain soon. your life is a delicilous secret :)
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: yes
TENURED PROFESSOR: jeffrey,, another wonderful trip with your "friend's" . i hope to visit your wild wild island aggain soon. your life is a delicilous secret :)
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: yes
January 31, 2026 at 3:36 AM
every epstein email exchange is like
TENURED PROFESSOR: jeffrey,, another wonderful trip with your "friend's" . i hope to visit your wild wild island aggain soon. your life is a delicilous secret :)
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: yes
TENURED PROFESSOR: jeffrey,, another wonderful trip with your "friend's" . i hope to visit your wild wild island aggain soon. your life is a delicilous secret :)
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: yes
george: jerry, i'm going to the bone temple!
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
January 17, 2026 at 3:39 AM
george: jerry, i'm going to the bone temple!
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
jerry: bone temple?
george: bone temple!
elaine: a guy took me to the bone temple once....he wasn't exactly samson
kramer: *bursts into apartment, infected*
why is everyone randomly talking about 2016, that was 3 to 6 years ago
January 16, 2026 at 12:07 AM
why is everyone randomly talking about 2016, that was 3 to 6 years ago
the problem with an untrained secret police squad that shoots people in their cars isn’t that they’re untrained
January 15, 2026 at 1:19 AM
the problem with an untrained secret police squad that shoots people in their cars isn’t that they’re untrained
more training, more money, better people - these ideas won’t fix anything. the only way to put an end to this ongoing national embarrassment is to abolish the new york jets
January 12, 2026 at 8:48 PM
more training, more money, better people - these ideas won’t fix anything. the only way to put an end to this ongoing national embarrassment is to abolish the new york jets
schumer: we don't need to abolish ice, we need to abolish PRICE...s.....that are........bad....and high
January 7, 2026 at 7:02 PM
schumer: we don't need to abolish ice, we need to abolish PRICE...s.....that are........bad....and high
directors from the 30s are so cool, they all made one stone cold undeniable triumph that will live forever and 47 other movies called “She’s Running Around”
January 7, 2026 at 2:17 AM
directors from the 30s are so cool, they all made one stone cold undeniable triumph that will live forever and 47 other movies called “She’s Running Around”
yeah i have peter pan syndrome
(dustin hoffman wants me dead)
(dustin hoffman wants me dead)
January 2, 2026 at 3:40 AM
yeah i have peter pan syndrome
(dustin hoffman wants me dead)
(dustin hoffman wants me dead)
forgetting all my old acquaintances unless I am convinced otherwise by song
January 1, 2026 at 2:20 AM
forgetting all my old acquaintances unless I am convinced otherwise by song
jeremy strong in the springsteen movie looks like they made an oscar bait minions adaptation
December 27, 2025 at 6:50 AM
jeremy strong in the springsteen movie looks like they made an oscar bait minions adaptation
kevin mcallister:
every single person in kevin mcallister’s immediate and extended family:
every single person in kevin mcallister’s immediate and extended family:
December 27, 2025 at 4:41 AM
kevin mcallister:
every single person in kevin mcallister’s immediate and extended family:
every single person in kevin mcallister’s immediate and extended family:
was visited by three ghosts last night who said i’m making great choices and to basically keep doing what i’m doing
December 25, 2025 at 4:38 PM
was visited by three ghosts last night who said i’m making great choices and to basically keep doing what i’m doing
I was born in 1601. I am a vampire. And for that reason I’m out.
December 23, 2025 at 4:13 AM
I was born in 1601. I am a vampire. And for that reason I’m out.
is there any better feeling than when the scissors just effortlessly glide along as you’re starting a c-section
December 23, 2025 at 2:19 AM
is there any better feeling than when the scissors just effortlessly glide along as you’re starting a c-section
the songwriter who figured out holly rhymes with jolly: oh my god. oh my GOD
December 21, 2025 at 1:35 AM
the songwriter who figured out holly rhymes with jolly: oh my god. oh my GOD
does anyone know who they redacted here
December 20, 2025 at 2:26 AM
does anyone know who they redacted here
scrooge: you there boy! what day is today?
boy: why it's disclosure day!
scrooge: *unnerving clicking noises*
boy: why it's disclosure day!
scrooge: *unnerving clicking noises*
First trailer for Steven Spielberg’s Disclosure Day 👀
In theaters on June 12, 2026.
In theaters on June 12, 2026.
December 16, 2025 at 5:07 PM
scrooge: you there boy! what day is today?
boy: why it's disclosure day!
scrooge: *unnerving clicking noises*
boy: why it's disclosure day!
scrooge: *unnerving clicking noises*
askjeeves ceo: if you don't use askjeeves your family will die
December 9, 2025 at 6:20 PM
askjeeves ceo: if you don't use askjeeves your family will die
why wasn’t yukon cornelius in more movies? were there allegations
December 9, 2025 at 3:33 AM
why wasn’t yukon cornelius in more movies? were there allegations
*sarah connor narration* cyber monday
December 1, 2025 at 6:01 PM
*sarah connor narration* cyber monday
118 minute movie: quick, easy, maybe i will watch a second movie after
135 minute movie: when will i EVER in my LIFE have the time
135 minute movie: when will i EVER in my LIFE have the time
November 29, 2025 at 4:33 AM
118 minute movie: quick, easy, maybe i will watch a second movie after
135 minute movie: when will i EVER in my LIFE have the time
135 minute movie: when will i EVER in my LIFE have the time