Dreamer
@elgatoesmio.bsky.social
wondering through the woods
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy
Pinned
do beavers really give a dam?
decided to never listen to “Free Bird” while sober
November 27, 2025 at 4:39 AM
decided to never listen to “Free Bird” while sober
wait you’re telling me that my members only jacket is not ironically cool and all the smiles I’ve been getting are actually people laughing at me???
November 27, 2025 at 3:24 AM
wait you’re telling me that my members only jacket is not ironically cool and all the smiles I’ve been getting are actually people laughing at me???
Reposted by Dreamer
my neighbour ryan: I was at a zombie walk we all dressup and walk around downtown
me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do
me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do
October 31, 2025 at 7:45 PM
my neighbour ryan: I was at a zombie walk we all dressup and walk around downtown
me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do
me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do
Reposted by Dreamer
I only buy bread so I don’t have to suffer the ignominy of putting slabs of butter directly in my mouth
November 18, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I only buy bread so I don’t have to suffer the ignominy of putting slabs of butter directly in my mouth
Reposted by Dreamer
It is okay to smell like wet dog if you have been making friends with a wet dog.
November 23, 2025 at 1:17 AM
It is okay to smell like wet dog if you have been making friends with a wet dog.
Reposted by Dreamer
The panini grill broke down so I just drew the lines on with a felt pen
November 22, 2025 at 11:33 PM
The panini grill broke down so I just drew the lines on with a felt pen
Reposted by Dreamer
At the end of a dark sunbeam, you'll find a braille full of soul.
November 26, 2025 at 1:34 PM
At the end of a dark sunbeam, you'll find a braille full of soul.
Reposted by Dreamer
Pepto Bismol shooters for in between the main course and dessert
November 26, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Pepto Bismol shooters for in between the main course and dessert
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Dulcolax isn’t just a stimulant laxative. It’s a 24 hour commitment.
November 21, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Dulcolax isn’t just a stimulant laxative. It’s a 24 hour commitment.
Reposted by Dreamer
It used to be when the bathwater drained out I’d be cold but that was before my body starting cooking itself from the inside out. I got at least an hour, maybe two to lie here.
November 25, 2025 at 4:25 AM
It used to be when the bathwater drained out I’d be cold but that was before my body starting cooking itself from the inside out. I got at least an hour, maybe two to lie here.
Reposted by Dreamer
Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
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I don’t know what I’ve done that every third ad is for cloth clogs, but I don’t want them. Please leave me alone.
November 26, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I don’t know what I’ve done that every third ad is for cloth clogs, but I don’t want them. Please leave me alone.
Reposted by Dreamer
An ashtray, but to tap off cookie crumbs in between bites.
January 20, 2024 at 10:16 PM
An ashtray, but to tap off cookie crumbs in between bites.
Reposted by Dreamer
I've been staring at a typo for 1/2 hour.
I may not make it through the night.
I may not make it through the night.
November 24, 2025 at 2:28 AM
I've been staring at a typo for 1/2 hour.
I may not make it through the night.
I may not make it through the night.
Reposted by Dreamer
Im a fraud. I eat trail mix but never go on a trail. I drink Gatorade but no part of me is gator. I buy kind bars and throw them at people
November 13, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Im a fraud. I eat trail mix but never go on a trail. I drink Gatorade but no part of me is gator. I buy kind bars and throw them at people
Reposted by Dreamer
If your doctor’s handwriting could sing, it’d sound exactly like Eddie Vedder.
November 25, 2025 at 11:06 PM
If your doctor’s handwriting could sing, it’d sound exactly like Eddie Vedder.
Reposted by Dreamer
I hope you pooped on company time today
November 25, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I hope you pooped on company time today
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Pestering someone to literal death is called annoyhilation.
November 25, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Pestering someone to literal death is called annoyhilation.
Reposted by Dreamer
cats only want what's best for you (subservience)
November 26, 2025 at 12:06 AM
cats only want what's best for you (subservience)
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If you get an email with the subject “Knock knock”, don’t open it.
It’s probably from a Jehovah’s Witness working from home.
It’s probably from a Jehovah’s Witness working from home.
November 27, 2025 at 12:21 AM
If you get an email with the subject “Knock knock”, don’t open it.
It’s probably from a Jehovah’s Witness working from home.
It’s probably from a Jehovah’s Witness working from home.
Reposted by Dreamer
Me: (after eating 8 fun size Snickers) omg this IS fun
November 12, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Me: (after eating 8 fun size Snickers) omg this IS fun
Reposted by Dreamer
I know how to make contact with the dead. I've got it down to a séance.
November 25, 2025 at 8:26 PM
I know how to make contact with the dead. I've got it down to a séance.
Reposted by Dreamer
People surprised at RFK Jr's appeal don't realise how fashionable distressed leather is in some circles.
November 26, 2025 at 5:25 AM
People surprised at RFK Jr's appeal don't realise how fashionable distressed leather is in some circles.
Reposted by Dreamer
It's the little things, like leaving work early, grabbing some takeout, and eating it in your car while parked by the river with a view
November 24, 2025 at 11:25 PM
It's the little things, like leaving work early, grabbing some takeout, and eating it in your car while parked by the river with a view
Reposted by Dreamer
*takes a leaf blower to my thoughts
November 24, 2025 at 8:24 PM
*takes a leaf blower to my thoughts