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elgatoesmio.bsky.social
Dreamer
@elgatoesmio.bsky.social
2.8K followers 1.1K following 670 posts
wondering through the woods bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy
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elgatoesmio.bsky.social
Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 12d
“breast milk” implies that we can milk other body parts
12 34 110
elgatoesmio.bsky.social
Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 7h
describing a metal riff as “face ripping” may feel cool but it’s super insulting to pet chimps
4 8
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geftokingmongoose.bsky.social
Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 1d
Make sure to talk to your kids about existential dread
5 65 330
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jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 20h
Yes I dangled a modifier, but I did it for you.
5 53 150
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brickmahoney.bsky.social
Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 20h
Thank you for pointing out the logical fallacy in my fart joke
3 45 130
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uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 19h
I just felt a small, but genuine thrill when noticing we’d finally finished the awful lemon-scented hand soap in the kitchen, and it had been replaced with my favorite cherry blossom soap. It would seem that I have a favorite hand soap. Such is the rock and roll lifestyle I lead.
31 44 430
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benedictsred.bsky.social
Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 10h
Florida is wild. If you leave a room in your house empty for long enough, a Dollar General opens in there
5 40 240
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ennuidoofen.bsky.social
Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 1d
One great thing about having a chest wound is you can walk around with a real "what are ya gonna do to me, stab me in the chest?" attitude. I'm just here to remind you that one can have two chest wounds, so you may wanna say,"What are you gonna do to me, stab me in the chest TWICE?"
11 57 270
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msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social
The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 1d
practicing quiet queefing so i don’t disrupt this christening
10 32 190
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blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social
Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 16h
Tossed a rolling pin for my dog to fetch, and he (eventually) returned with a batch of buttermilk biscuits, sans butter or marmalade. Stupid dog.
8 49
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tuskjenkins.bsky.social
Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 14h
There once was a limerick at sonnetcon? Wow even poetry news is anarchy
2 27 55
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ashhull.bsky.social
ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 15h
Uses candy corn as ear plugs.
15 45 150
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azedand2knots.bsky.social
chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 1d
We just keep letting Jared Leto happen for some reason.
31 69 410
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riotgrlerin.bsky.social
RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 21h
the grim reaper driving a taxi full of meats and cheeses makes it a death cab for charcuterie.
11 60 280
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msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social
The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 17h
i had to give up microwave burritos the sexual tension was overwhelming
1 17 83
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im-all-id.me
andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 11h
I'm going to buy a dog and tell it all of my problems
34 42 230
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bigthinkingcap.bsky.social
Bigthinkingcap @bigthinkingcap.bsky.social · 11d
you’ve some nerve telling me I can do better when I gave you my best
48 96
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chalza.bsky.social
Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 14h
No, I'm not a martial arts expert. You're Kung Fusing me with someone else.
2 21 64
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bestestname.bsky.social
Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 1d
I would like to apologize to both Bushes for saying they were the worst president ever
19 26 370
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mardigroan.bsky.social
Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 2d
I had an apple on the side instead of chips, in case you're looking for potential nominees for prestigious prizes.
2 18 68
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xinicit.bsky.social
Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 2d
Anything can be a puppet if you don’t care what happens to your hand
1 39 140
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ficklenuts.bsky.social
ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 2d
If I ever tell someone to “get my good side” in a pic, I’m probably talking about my butt
5 29 110
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deeks549.bsky.social
Phantom Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 2d
All of my shortcuts just lead to roadblocks
1 27 45
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gypsymoon1969.bsky.social
RXSarsparilla🎉 @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social · 2d
Now to figure out which pajamas I'll be wearing to work tomorrow.
2 22 55
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hatesnicethings.bsky.social
Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 3d
I could die from embarrassment if I hadn’t already died inside like twelve times already.
1 24 53
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ayankdownunder.bsky.social
GᵣₐbₜₕₑInflatableWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d
Lowered expectations is the hot new trend.
3 28 50