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@dopeshow.bsky.social

2.1K followers 940 following 2K posts

Cigarette butt collector, esquire. Legal Advice: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7kbe2ppvlcrszkduecbj4syj/feed/aaai5iu6grewk

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · Sep 9

One day you'll make your little DIY toilet seat cover with three pieces of tissue paper for the very last time

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 10h

thousands of tomatoes had to die for your ketchup you bastard

6 24 73

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AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 10h

Balls are the tits of the taint

9 25 85

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 19h

I’m like if Spirit Halloween stores were a person

4 58 150

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 9h

"Never ask a panty thief to water your plants"

~ ancient proverb

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Amish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 3d

In Hell, everyone watches you trying to parallel park.

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One Dog’s Opinion 🐾 @onedogsopinion.bsky.social · 11h

filling my weekly pill organizer with hopes and dreams

1 17 66

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meliss-AAAH! @mel.bzky.team · 9h

if you ever point out a typo of mine im starting a 10000 year blood war btw

6 3 22

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Phantom Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 1d

Not everyone gets it. I actually prefer it that way

2 39 64

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 13h

I don't know why this two-year-old at the pool said "how dare you" to her dad but I'm on her side

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Used Robot Salesman @urs-annex.bsky.social · 13h

just have this sneaky suspicion, that the elevator music in heaven is pretty fucking good.

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Fulkery @fulkery.bsky.social · 13h

Always rootin for shit that ain’t gonna happen

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 12h

i’m suing jd vance for causing my tubes to tie themselves

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Pot Shop Boo @potshopboy.bsky.social · 15h

The fact that I have to capitalize Alfredo and Parmesan but not cheddar or mozzarella is why I have trust issues.

6 16 58

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 16h

excited for when my peach fuzz chin hairs finally become a beard

4 10 31

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 14h

It's Canadian Thanksgiving, the day we traditionally gather to run through the corn maze, eat beaver, and watch Cool Runnings

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Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 16h

Giving each boob a playful slap once I've crammed it into my bra:

Alright team, let's go to the hardware store.

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 15h

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 19h

muting people irl with a hammer

6 33 140

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 9d

I'll do anything to stay in shape, other than work out or eat right.

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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 1d

“I shaved for you,” is a great icebreaker on a first date.

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 1d

No, I’m not calm. I’ve just given up.

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 21h

if it doesn’t rain when you’re sad
that means mother nature doesn’t like you

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 20h

Yes I dangled a modifier, but I did it for you.

5 53 150