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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

@lizzlepants.bsky.social

4.3K followers 900 following 3.6K posts

resident pantologist https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3dg5zlv5v6tbzizwatnunvwu/feed/aaabx33niyxtm

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 9d

It’s the oxytocin we’re all after
put it in a pill and bottle that shit up for everyone

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Karim Wafa-Al Hussaini @karimwafa.bsky.social · 1d

bring back critical thinking.

please and thank you.

7 37 160

Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 1m

y’all watch out for those hot ones pringles
I munched on 3 of the verde flavor and my mouth was in pain for half an hour 🥵

Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 1m

whoa whoa whoa
all pro rain here

Whoa GIF

Alt: Whoa GIF

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 5h

Imagine paying hundreds of dollars per month for the privilege of carrying around a state surveillance device.

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 7h

Supplier: Our blowdryers have 2 settings—screaming banshee or old man wheezing

Hotelier: I'll take your whole inventory

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 4h

can we stop building walls and roll away together

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Juan Thicc @gabemathewsband.bsky.social · 1h

Damnit! I just pulled a muscle reaching for my potential.

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 8h

You can try to think of a better early 80s power pop hit than “Magic Power” by Triumph but you’ll fail because dammit you’re still young wild and free despite those high cholesterol numbers

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 4h

Not only do I want to be ungovernable, I want to be unalgorithmable.

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

GᵣₐbₜₕₑInflatableWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 20h

We can smell Mastodon’s perfume on you.

36 96

Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 22h

practicing self restraint by being like “i could get 19 hot dog/soda combos from costco for the price of this”

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 6d

don’t be jealous that the full moon howls at me

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

nay (dino) 🖤🦇 @lilblackheart.bsky.social · 2h

i’d be fine with a ghost in the house if every time a message in blood appeared on a wall it was something helpful like YOUR GLASSES ARE ON YOUR HEAD

3 6 40

Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

stuforreal.bsky.social @stuforreal.bsky.social · 2h

Sorry i'm late there were dark clouds in the crystal ball, you see

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Midge @midge.bsky.social · 2h

I’m not Monday for ready yet

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 2h

Desperate attempt to advertise Mondays:
''I can't believe it's not Friday''

9 18

Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 4d

Just detoxed from human interaction for 72 hours. Highly recommend. It’s a great way to realize everyone else is the source of your inflammation.

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Rebel Yankee @tnrefugee.bsky.social · 11h

Seeing a therapist to figure out what the fuck is wrong with my sister.

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 2d

Hey guys please stop calling my girlfriend a “hallucination”

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

Skip “Skippy” Skipperson @yippyskippy.bsky.social · 3h

Happy Gray Sweatpants Season to all who observe

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Reposted by Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️

John @johncnj.bsky.social · 20h

Someone was telling me that they were on their way to a pet pharmacy. Pretty disappointed that I couldn’t go with them, since I’m certain that dogs in lab coats filling prescriptions would be adorable.