Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Stone Cold Jane Austen

@abbyhiggs.bsky.social

30K followers 1K following 8.1K posts

The OG. Feral essayist. Genderclear. Publicist. They/Thembo. Instructor/Professor. Words: @MarieClaire_sa @Guardian @The_Rumpus etc.🖖

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · Jun 22

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this

810 14K 63K

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 9h

Imagine hating me and I’m just in my room doing this—

2 2 53

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 10h

I have that one gene that makes trying to use Saran Wrap fucking impossible

1 4 42

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 11h

Got accused of being a “performative male” today. I’m conflicted on so many levels, yet proud.

2 64

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 12h

Da Vinci’s Last Supper

Seth Meyers, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Colin Jost and Michael Che all yelling and gesticulating

3 6 91

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 13h

So I can’t flex and take a selfie at the same time. So sue me, lol.

Me in a gym tank trying to flex but my hand is completely limp because I’m also taking a selfie and I clearly can’t do both this at once GYM

Me trying to flex but with my sweaty face hidden behind a sticker that reads “I’m dead”

4 1 26

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 13h

2 1 20

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 16h

I wonder why I put two Ns in “thousand” like that 🤔

2 8

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 16h

A haunted house but it’s just your LiveJournal entries written to Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousannd Miles” from 2002

2 2 46

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 17h

I, too, have the cardiac age of a 65-year-old

Reuters @reuters.com · 2d

Trump, 79, has "cardiac age" of 65-year-old, doctor says reut.rs/4mZNZbu

Trump, 79, has "cardiac age" of 65-year-old, doctor says

Donald Trump was found to be in "exceptional health" in a medical evaluation, the U.S. president's doctor said in a memo released by the White House on Friday, with his "cardiac age" 14 years younger than in "chronological age."

reut.rs

3 29

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

I’M DISCOMBOBULATED

2 59

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

Not specific enough. You could’ve been missing parlays for all I can tell

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

Woke up this mornin’. Made pumpkin pancakes. Ate ‘em. Went straight back to bed. Now, it’s 4:30 pm and I’m just rousing again. Did I waste the day or live it to its fullest so far? I can’t tell…

11 1 95

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

I’m watching how everyone mourns Diane Keaton. Be respectful or I’m calling your jobs.

4 8 150

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 1d

I used to be real self-conscious about my head being shaped like a guitar pick

1 20

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

Are you calling me a billionaire techno-demon

1 1

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

Had to repair the biodiesel pump on the paper straw spiralizer at the Antifa factory today #TGIF

8 4 79

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

What are you doing this weekend?

I’ll share first: I’m going to pick at my skin

6 1 25

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 2d

I’m sorry, but nothing screams I SWEAR I AM NOT THE ANTICHRIST more than hearing about some billionaire AI-obsessed technofascist’s obsession with the Antichrist. A billionaire whose face is actively melting off before our eyes to expose the digital demon beneath, I might add!