Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Miss Suzy

@sqrlymofo.bsky.social

740 followers 160 following 5.4K posts

A high AF goddamn Internet Squirrel, what the fuck more do you want? I'm here, I'm your little ray of sunshine. ABSOLUTELY NO STARTER PACKS https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaao2bqerpveq

bsky.app

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · Jan 24

You'll fuck better on a Stearns and Foster.

1 39 110

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 7h

You're the woman of my dreams but the woman is an old lady with purple hair who pops up out of nowhere telling me she's very disappointed in me

9 32

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 8h

Could go for cheese. Could.

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Sourise @souriscerise.bsky.social · 21h

make cheese not war

2 5 11

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 14h

If you’re ashamed of me that’s crazy because I’m literally adorable and only cry like twice a day

5 12 67

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 8h

Offended AND I'll go to bed mad, thank you very much.

1 1

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 8h

There's got to be somebody out there that would get off on trimming my toenails. Come on. My feet. So far away.

Reposted by Miss Suzy

feral streep @seanpaulmahoney.bsky.social · 12h

I’ll gladly ride the dick of whoever it was who invented tomato paste in a tube. 10/10 food innovation

14 3 170

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Lord Juiblex @lordjuiblex.bsky.social · 14h

Let's drink mugwort tea before bed and have fucked up dreams.

4 3 32

Reposted by Miss Suzy

🎃🐄🐤🐤🐤 @tweedle.bsky.social · 13h

extra long charging cables make me feel like a decadent slut

1 18 100

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 10h

(opens door all the way)

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 12h

I'll brush your tail.

1 3 6

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 22h

Giving each boob a playful slap once I've crammed it into my bra:

Alright team, let's go to the hardware store.

1 7 19

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 1d

Sometimes during a conversation I actually run out of awkward and my soul leaves to smoke behind the 7-11.

5 13

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 2d

Pothead Suzy here with the Too High report:

I am too high.

1 6

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 2d

Lubricate your snake, M'lady?

1 3

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Lee Harveryscary @valleyguitarist.bsky.social · 2d

People say snake oil salesperson derogatorily but it's actually a really difficult job, because so few people have snakes that require lubricaction

1 40 120

Reposted by Miss Suzy

ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 4d

Not to brag, but I’ve been called “strange and off-putting” by someone on a dating app before

7 32 130

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 5d

Just know that your great grandparents are looking down at you from heaven feeling so proud of your butthole skeets

4 39 100

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 2d

We've profiled you based on your actual profile and it reads disconnectedly as an erotic thriller of the highest intelligence, I might add hilarious. If you ever commit a crime I'll be the first to put red herring in bio, let's alt away together

3 36 62

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 2d

Let's just say that I have lived my life in such a way that it would be impossible to notice if I began having a mid-life crisis.

3 30 190

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Glasgow Kiss @xanderglasgow.bsky.social · 2d

Congratulations, you’re through to the next round of Bluesky.

3 19

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 3d

There's...

pancakes
air
weed
nuts

(takes off shoes)

Panca...ah, fuck. Already di

CHEESE

a cartoon squirrel sitting on a tree branch

Alt: A cartoon squirrel looks around and blinks as if they don't remember what they came out on that branch for or how to count.

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Miss Suzy

headless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 3d

It’s time for the muppets to die.

I’ll do it, you don’t have to watch

4 14 28

Miss Suzy @sqrlymofo.bsky.social · 3d

That's insane. I just want to EAT pancakes.

1 1

Reposted by Miss Suzy

Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 3d

You know what it is, the mind yearning to commune with the night and knowing not to say day things like talking to ambience solves nothing let's fuck up afternoons

1 42 69