Sunshine Jarboly
@sunshinejarboly.bsky.social
puppy petter. eagle trainer. drinker of milk. taker of naps. Writer. my books are available at https://linktr.ee/sunshinejarboly
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
For those about to fold a fitted sheet, we salute you.
January 29, 2025 at 11:31 AM
For those about to fold a fitted sheet, we salute you.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Hey guys, I wanted to announce I don’t have a podcast.
April 2, 2024 at 7:24 PM
Hey guys, I wanted to announce I don’t have a podcast.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
It was me. I sank the Edmund Fitzgerald. Sorry.
December 7, 2025 at 5:39 PM
It was me. I sank the Edmund Fitzgerald. Sorry.
i interrupt my grandma’s tupperware party & call everyone’s attention to the hi-fi stereo in the corner of the room where i gently lower a needle onto a record & the guests jaws drop as they are treated to 100 decibels of the mormon tabernacle choir version of tobacco toad.
December 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
i interrupt my grandma’s tupperware party & call everyone’s attention to the hi-fi stereo in the corner of the room where i gently lower a needle onto a record & the guests jaws drop as they are treated to 100 decibels of the mormon tabernacle choir version of tobacco toad.
*whispering to the dalai lama*
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 AM
*whispering to the dalai lama*
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
A good sandwich can cost anywhere from $4 to $62 and I’ll say “That makes sense”
December 7, 2025 at 3:57 AM
A good sandwich can cost anywhere from $4 to $62 and I’ll say “That makes sense”
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
December 7, 2025 at 3:58 AM
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
August 12, 2023 at 3:47 PM
"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
I showed my bluesky account to my psychiatrist and she said I could pick whatever medication I want
October 21, 2024 at 4:52 PM
I showed my bluesky account to my psychiatrist and she said I could pick whatever medication I want
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
(Rummaging through drafts): poop joke, poop joke, existential dread, poop joke
December 5, 2025 at 9:07 PM
(Rummaging through drafts): poop joke, poop joke, existential dread, poop joke
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Thinking about cultivating a sweet ben franklin mullet
December 6, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Thinking about cultivating a sweet ben franklin mullet
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
My ancestors ate or used every part of the wonderbread loaf
December 5, 2025 at 4:31 PM
My ancestors ate or used every part of the wonderbread loaf
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
being involved in a Point Break style bank robbery and ensuing car and foot chase would fix me
December 7, 2025 at 2:13 AM
being involved in a Point Break style bank robbery and ensuing car and foot chase would fix me
every year around christmas time daniel day-lewis emerges from an old growth forest &, in the name of ancient tradition, beats an elf to death with a hard cover copy of the sound & the fury.
December 6, 2025 at 7:10 PM
every year around christmas time daniel day-lewis emerges from an old growth forest &, in the name of ancient tradition, beats an elf to death with a hard cover copy of the sound & the fury.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
A new version of the Mayan calendar will just be some graph paper and pictures of Maya Hawke. You write the days in however you want.
December 2, 2025 at 10:18 PM
A new version of the Mayan calendar will just be some graph paper and pictures of Maya Hawke. You write the days in however you want.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
If you can't fit an entire 5lb bologna tube in your air fryer, it's too small.
December 6, 2025 at 12:53 AM
If you can't fit an entire 5lb bologna tube in your air fryer, it's too small.
*the millennium falcon is parked somewhere on the moon. from a distance, han solo is looking through a pair of binoculars watching neil armstrong planting an american flag into the ground. han slowly turns to chewbacca*
are we in the wrong story?
are we in the wrong story?
December 5, 2025 at 11:06 PM
*the millennium falcon is parked somewhere on the moon. from a distance, han solo is looking through a pair of binoculars watching neil armstrong planting an american flag into the ground. han slowly turns to chewbacca*
are we in the wrong story?
are we in the wrong story?
*3:72 am. i roll over, nudge my wife awake & whisper*
how come diarrhea is such a hard word to spell?
how come diarrhea is such a hard word to spell?
December 5, 2025 at 10:23 PM
*3:72 am. i roll over, nudge my wife awake & whisper*
how come diarrhea is such a hard word to spell?
how come diarrhea is such a hard word to spell?
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Not sure we'll hang up Christmas lights this year. Maybe I'll invite the neighbors over to watch the sparks as I saw up old pallets
December 5, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Not sure we'll hang up Christmas lights this year. Maybe I'll invite the neighbors over to watch the sparks as I saw up old pallets
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Nana always told us never to argue about religion or politics or the interdimensionality of bigfoot
December 5, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Nana always told us never to argue about religion or politics or the interdimensionality of bigfoot
kids, a new episode of @valleyheat.bsky.social is finally up. go to it. now. i promise, i would not lead you astray. unless you hate laughing. in that case, let me lead you to the nearest lake so that you may go jump in it. this has been delightful, thank you.
December 5, 2025 at 6:07 PM
kids, a new episode of @valleyheat.bsky.social is finally up. go to it. now. i promise, i would not lead you astray. unless you hate laughing. in that case, let me lead you to the nearest lake so that you may go jump in it. this has been delightful, thank you.
*speaking at my daughter’s class on career day*
well, the exact moment i realized that i was a completely powerless & ineffectual person was when my wife went & planned a whole vacation with her girlfriends right in front of my eyes.
well, the exact moment i realized that i was a completely powerless & ineffectual person was when my wife went & planned a whole vacation with her girlfriends right in front of my eyes.
December 5, 2025 at 4:38 PM
*speaking at my daughter’s class on career day*
well, the exact moment i realized that i was a completely powerless & ineffectual person was when my wife went & planned a whole vacation with her girlfriends right in front of my eyes.
well, the exact moment i realized that i was a completely powerless & ineffectual person was when my wife went & planned a whole vacation with her girlfriends right in front of my eyes.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
arrived 3 hours early for my flight but did not immediately go to my gate to make sure it exists. well guess what, Gate C32 is fictional and now I’m completely fucked
December 3, 2025 at 7:54 PM
arrived 3 hours early for my flight but did not immediately go to my gate to make sure it exists. well guess what, Gate C32 is fictional and now I’m completely fucked
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
You were studying the blade. I was studying algebra. Turns out your thing was way more useful.
December 4, 2025 at 8:39 PM
You were studying the blade. I was studying algebra. Turns out your thing was way more useful.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
[arguing with wife who briefly dated a guy that designs lego sets] sorry I'm not craig
December 3, 2025 at 3:53 PM
[arguing with wife who briefly dated a guy that designs lego sets] sorry I'm not craig