Sunshine Jarboly
@sunshinejarboly.bsky.social
puppy petter. eagle trainer. drinker of milk. taker of naps. Writer. my books are available at https://linktr.ee/sunshinejarboly
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
the year 2056. scientists have finally unlocked the secrets of the ‘energy burger’, which is made of the grass-fed beef of a hyperactive cow, essence of ghinko biloba, a carburetor of a vw scirocco & a little bit of dark matter that was responsibly harvested from deep space.
December 9, 2025 at 2:42 PM
the year 2056. scientists have finally unlocked the secrets of the ‘energy burger’, which is made of the grass-fed beef of a hyperactive cow, essence of ghinko biloba, a carburetor of a vw scirocco & a little bit of dark matter that was responsibly harvested from deep space.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Most of your basic space odysseys are pretty relaxing.
December 4, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Most of your basic space odysseys are pretty relaxing.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Found a tiny container of caesar salad dressing in the fridge, anything can happen if you just believe.
December 5, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Found a tiny container of caesar salad dressing in the fridge, anything can happen if you just believe.
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Just saw my future self walk by and honestly it wasn't all that enlightening.
December 6, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Just saw my future self walk by and honestly it wasn't all that enlightening.
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A famous person walked past me and I googled him to make sure he was still alive.
December 8, 2025 at 2:42 AM
A famous person walked past me and I googled him to make sure he was still alive.
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Going to decorate the curb mattress with some lights and maybe a little tinsel.
December 9, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Going to decorate the curb mattress with some lights and maybe a little tinsel.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
“You ever dropped acid?”
*flashback to the chemistry class accident with my lab partner Gary “No Feet” Johnson*
No
*flashback to the chemistry class accident with my lab partner Gary “No Feet” Johnson*
No
December 9, 2025 at 1:13 AM
“You ever dropped acid?”
*flashback to the chemistry class accident with my lab partner Gary “No Feet” Johnson*
No
*flashback to the chemistry class accident with my lab partner Gary “No Feet” Johnson*
No
i’ve finally developed a very reliable method for dealing with my anxiety. for example, if i get invited to a party what i’ll do is i’ll drink a glass of lukewarm milk, set the glass down & then walk out deep, deep into the forest behind my house & then i’ll drop completely dead.
December 9, 2025 at 1:14 AM
i’ve finally developed a very reliable method for dealing with my anxiety. for example, if i get invited to a party what i’ll do is i’ll drink a glass of lukewarm milk, set the glass down & then walk out deep, deep into the forest behind my house & then i’ll drop completely dead.
me, waking up from a 23 hour nap: let’s see an a.i. robot do THAT.
December 8, 2025 at 2:11 PM
me, waking up from a 23 hour nap: let’s see an a.i. robot do THAT.
cyberdyne systems engineer with a really bad attitude: here’s the t-800 terminator that you ordered so you can {air quotes} send back in time to 1984 to kill john connor’s mom or whatever.
skynet time machine operator: okay, why does he have an austrian accent?
skynet time machine operator: okay, why does he have an austrian accent?
December 8, 2025 at 1:25 PM
cyberdyne systems engineer with a really bad attitude: here’s the t-800 terminator that you ordered so you can {air quotes} send back in time to 1984 to kill john connor’s mom or whatever.
skynet time machine operator: okay, why does he have an austrian accent?
skynet time machine operator: okay, why does he have an austrian accent?
*i lean in real close & whisper to the cop as he writes my ticket for loitering*
i can fit 43 chimichangas in my backpack.
i can fit 43 chimichangas in my backpack.
December 8, 2025 at 1:14 PM
*i lean in real close & whisper to the cop as he writes my ticket for loitering*
i can fit 43 chimichangas in my backpack.
i can fit 43 chimichangas in my backpack.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
For those about to fold a fitted sheet, we salute you.
January 29, 2025 at 11:31 AM
For those about to fold a fitted sheet, we salute you.
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Hey guys, I wanted to announce I don’t have a podcast.
April 2, 2024 at 7:24 PM
Hey guys, I wanted to announce I don’t have a podcast.
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It was me. I sank the Edmund Fitzgerald. Sorry.
December 7, 2025 at 5:39 PM
It was me. I sank the Edmund Fitzgerald. Sorry.
i interrupt my grandma’s tupperware party & call everyone’s attention to the hi-fi stereo in the corner of the room where i gently lower a needle onto a record & the guests jaws drop as they are treated to 100 decibels of the mormon tabernacle choir version of tobacco toad.
December 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
i interrupt my grandma’s tupperware party & call everyone’s attention to the hi-fi stereo in the corner of the room where i gently lower a needle onto a record & the guests jaws drop as they are treated to 100 decibels of the mormon tabernacle choir version of tobacco toad.
*whispering to the dalai lama*
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 AM
*whispering to the dalai lama*
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
…& that’s when i reached MY state of enlightenment when i realized that i was standing inside a taco bell that was located inside an arby's which was located inside a chipotle.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
A good sandwich can cost anywhere from $4 to $62 and I’ll say “That makes sense”
December 7, 2025 at 3:57 AM
A good sandwich can cost anywhere from $4 to $62 and I’ll say “That makes sense”
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
December 7, 2025 at 3:58 AM
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
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"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
August 12, 2023 at 3:47 PM
"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
I showed my bluesky account to my psychiatrist and she said I could pick whatever medication I want
October 21, 2024 at 4:52 PM
I showed my bluesky account to my psychiatrist and she said I could pick whatever medication I want
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
(Rummaging through drafts): poop joke, poop joke, existential dread, poop joke
December 5, 2025 at 9:07 PM
(Rummaging through drafts): poop joke, poop joke, existential dread, poop joke
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Thinking about cultivating a sweet ben franklin mullet
December 6, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Thinking about cultivating a sweet ben franklin mullet
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
My ancestors ate or used every part of the wonderbread loaf
December 5, 2025 at 4:31 PM
My ancestors ate or used every part of the wonderbread loaf
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
being involved in a Point Break style bank robbery and ensuing car and foot chase would fix me
December 7, 2025 at 2:13 AM
being involved in a Point Break style bank robbery and ensuing car and foot chase would fix me
every year around christmas time daniel day-lewis emerges from an old growth forest &, in the name of ancient tradition, beats an elf to death with a hard cover copy of the sound & the fury.
December 6, 2025 at 7:10 PM
every year around christmas time daniel day-lewis emerges from an old growth forest &, in the name of ancient tradition, beats an elf to death with a hard cover copy of the sound & the fury.