Sunshine Jarboly
@sunshinejarboly.bsky.social
puppy petter. eagle trainer. drinker of milk. taker of naps. Writer. my books are available at https://linktr.ee/sunshinejarboly
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
me, the lector at mass: if at first you don’t succeed, then give up. don’t try again. you failed. move on with your life. go to bed. go to hell. what do i care.
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
November 16, 2025 at 6:49 PM
me, the lector at mass: if at first you don’t succeed, then give up. don’t try again. you failed. move on with your life. go to bed. go to hell. what do i care.
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
I wave whenever I hear a failing exhaust because I figure it’s someone I know
November 16, 2025 at 1:35 PM
I wave whenever I hear a failing exhaust because I figure it’s someone I know
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
It’s gonna take a lot more than that to change my mind. Maybe do a magic trick or something
November 16, 2025 at 1:41 PM
It’s gonna take a lot more than that to change my mind. Maybe do a magic trick or something
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Some things we simply cannot know on this plane: is there a god? What is our purpose? Where did all my iTunes music go? The lyrics to Rocket Man etc…
November 16, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Some things we simply cannot know on this plane: is there a god? What is our purpose? Where did all my iTunes music go? The lyrics to Rocket Man etc…
sometimes when i’m sitting under a tree or next to a car with no wheels in an empty parking lot i’ll think to myself, “where does pudding come from?” & then there’s other times when i’ll think, “how long have i been dead?”
November 16, 2025 at 4:36 PM
sometimes when i’m sitting under a tree or next to a car with no wheels in an empty parking lot i’ll think to myself, “where does pudding come from?” & then there’s other times when i’ll think, “how long have i been dead?”
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Dear Patron Saint of Lost Causes and Desperate Situations,
Have you seen Bluesky?
Have you seen Bluesky?
May 18, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Dear Patron Saint of Lost Causes and Desperate Situations,
Have you seen Bluesky?
Have you seen Bluesky?
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
November 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
November 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Whenever you buy plumbing supplies at home depot they should be required to say ‘see you in an hour or so’’.
November 15, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Whenever you buy plumbing supplies at home depot they should be required to say ‘see you in an hour or so’’.
*christmas eve & i’ve pinned santa claus to the ground*
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
November 15, 2025 at 7:01 PM
*christmas eve & i’ve pinned santa claus to the ground*
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
A powdered wig on a barrister but the powder is cheeto dust
November 13, 2025 at 3:18 PM
A powdered wig on a barrister but the powder is cheeto dust
me: i can’t wait to stream one battle after another on my phone.
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
November 15, 2025 at 12:12 AM
me: i can’t wait to stream one battle after another on my phone.
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
*santa claus & his wife as played by frank & estelle costanza*
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
November 14, 2025 at 4:53 PM
*santa claus & his wife as played by frank & estelle costanza*
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
The Easter candy in the back of the cupboard is fresh now. That’s science. That’s how it works.
November 14, 2025 at 4:29 PM
The Easter candy in the back of the cupboard is fresh now. That’s science. That’s how it works.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Me: I need to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
November 13, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Me: I need to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
MARGARET: Are you there God, it's me, Margaret
GOD: I have a boyfriend
GOD: I have a boyfriend
November 11, 2025 at 10:22 PM
MARGARET: Are you there God, it's me, Margaret
GOD: I have a boyfriend
GOD: I have a boyfriend
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
*sees someone eating a piece of 14-grain toast*
My bread has 15 grains but no big deal
My bread has 15 grains but no big deal
November 12, 2025 at 4:05 PM
*sees someone eating a piece of 14-grain toast*
My bread has 15 grains but no big deal
My bread has 15 grains but no big deal
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
DOCTOR: *walks into waiting room* I'm sorry, he didn't make it
MY WIFE: What happened?
DOCTOR: The surgery was a success so we poured Gatorade over him and that killed him
MY WIFE: *sobbing* that's the same way his dad went
MY WIFE: What happened?
DOCTOR: The surgery was a success so we poured Gatorade over him and that killed him
MY WIFE: *sobbing* that's the same way his dad went
November 12, 2025 at 10:41 PM
DOCTOR: *walks into waiting room* I'm sorry, he didn't make it
MY WIFE: What happened?
DOCTOR: The surgery was a success so we poured Gatorade over him and that killed him
MY WIFE: *sobbing* that's the same way his dad went
MY WIFE: What happened?
DOCTOR: The surgery was a success so we poured Gatorade over him and that killed him
MY WIFE: *sobbing* that's the same way his dad went
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
You wouldn't think chucking 9 minicans of Coke from the airport lounge into your backpack is gonna weight that much but it's important to learn a new thing each day
November 14, 2025 at 2:03 AM
You wouldn't think chucking 9 minicans of Coke from the airport lounge into your backpack is gonna weight that much but it's important to learn a new thing each day
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
(Me, doing anything requiring all of my concentration)
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
November 14, 2025 at 1:03 AM
(Me, doing anything requiring all of my concentration)
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
catch up:
one time when my daughter was seven years old we went to a birthday party where there was a bunch of other kids. kids, if you haven’t guessed by now, LOVE to form groups with a leader or two as the nucleus & then sprint at full speed from one end of whatever
one time when my daughter was seven years old we went to a birthday party where there was a bunch of other kids. kids, if you haven’t guessed by now, LOVE to form groups with a leader or two as the nucleus & then sprint at full speed from one end of whatever
November 14, 2025 at 10:32 AM
catch up:
one time when my daughter was seven years old we went to a birthday party where there was a bunch of other kids. kids, if you haven’t guessed by now, LOVE to form groups with a leader or two as the nucleus & then sprint at full speed from one end of whatever
one time when my daughter was seven years old we went to a birthday party where there was a bunch of other kids. kids, if you haven’t guessed by now, LOVE to form groups with a leader or two as the nucleus & then sprint at full speed from one end of whatever
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Should I clean my house or call a Febreze location scout?
November 14, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Should I clean my house or call a Febreze location scout?
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Saw the rooster who wears pants again. I don't think a rooster needs pants but that's just my opinion.
November 10, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Saw the rooster who wears pants again. I don't think a rooster needs pants but that's just my opinion.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
The spider in my shower should've known better.
November 11, 2025 at 1:52 AM
The spider in my shower should've known better.