Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
1. Be excellent to each other
2. Party on dudes
Mine: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaad7aufcmm3c
2. Party on dudes
Mine: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaad7aufcmm3c
Pinned
Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
· Apr 5
"Your laugh is like a sunset," I say right before I nail gun my hand to the frame of a revolving door
Reposted by Chestbursty
The opposite of a smoothie is a roughie, a glass full of food you choke down whole.
January 21, 2026 at 6:54 PM
The opposite of a smoothie is a roughie, a glass full of food you choke down whole.
Reposted by Chestbursty
[me in a bed with existential dread] “oh fuck, you’re gonna make me succumb.”
January 24, 2026 at 8:18 AM
[me in a bed with existential dread] “oh fuck, you’re gonna make me succumb.”
Reposted by Chestbursty
it’s nice to mute you too
October 20, 2025 at 5:22 AM
it’s nice to mute you too
Reposted by Chestbursty
30 years in and I can still buckle my wife laughing. Okay, so years 23-28 she didn’t laugh, but I must have gotten funnier.
January 24, 2026 at 4:37 AM
30 years in and I can still buckle my wife laughing. Okay, so years 23-28 she didn’t laugh, but I must have gotten funnier.
Reposted by Chestbursty
are they not monsters?
January 22, 2026 at 12:08 AM
are they not monsters?
Reposted by Chestbursty
If a man ever asks if I came, I say “you betcha” and pump my arm like Popeye.
January 22, 2026 at 1:55 AM
If a man ever asks if I came, I say “you betcha” and pump my arm like Popeye.
Reposted by Chestbursty
I feel like I have run out of intelligent things to say, so I'm starting from the beginning again, only this time I am saying them all backwards in a lower voice and with my eyes rolled far back into my head.
January 21, 2026 at 8:24 PM
I feel like I have run out of intelligent things to say, so I'm starting from the beginning again, only this time I am saying them all backwards in a lower voice and with my eyes rolled far back into my head.
Reposted by Chestbursty
gonna listen to this every morning for the rest of the year to stay alive. ✊
the Mountain Goats - This Year (Official Video)
YouTube video by the Mountain Goats
youtube.com
January 22, 2026 at 3:34 PM
gonna listen to this every morning for the rest of the year to stay alive. ✊
Reposted by Chestbursty
I found a notebook where I only used one (1) page
January 23, 2026 at 8:02 PM
I found a notebook where I only used one (1) page
Reposted by Chestbursty
The best way to untangle a chainsaw chain is with an Ornette Coleman solo in your heart
January 23, 2026 at 7:53 PM
The best way to untangle a chainsaw chain is with an Ornette Coleman solo in your heart
Reposted by Chestbursty
raw sewage implies the existence of cooked sewage
November 15, 2023 at 7:50 PM
raw sewage implies the existence of cooked sewage
Reposted by Chestbursty
I'm cleared & have secured funding to be certified for a hand-controlled vehicle.
I have logbooks for millions of miles driving 18 wheelers, but I've driven nothing but simulators since 12/7/24.
I'm as excited as in '85 anticipating, again, being able to fucking leave without arranging transport.
I have logbooks for millions of miles driving 18 wheelers, but I've driven nothing but simulators since 12/7/24.
I'm as excited as in '85 anticipating, again, being able to fucking leave without arranging transport.
January 23, 2026 at 9:20 PM
I'm cleared & have secured funding to be certified for a hand-controlled vehicle.
I have logbooks for millions of miles driving 18 wheelers, but I've driven nothing but simulators since 12/7/24.
I'm as excited as in '85 anticipating, again, being able to fucking leave without arranging transport.
I have logbooks for millions of miles driving 18 wheelers, but I've driven nothing but simulators since 12/7/24.
I'm as excited as in '85 anticipating, again, being able to fucking leave without arranging transport.
Reposted by Chestbursty
the past tense of advised is adviseded
January 23, 2026 at 7:47 PM
the past tense of advised is adviseded
Reposted by Chestbursty
“I asked Chat GPT”
Ok, well, I asked Dr. Bronner and he said: FAMILY SOAPMAKERS SINCE 1858. DR. BRONNER’S. 18-IN-1 HEMP TEA TREE. PURE-CASTILE SOAP. CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE. MADE WITH ORGANIC OILS. Ingredients: Water, Organic Coconut Oil*, Potassium Hydroxidet, Organic Palm Kernel Oil*, Organic Olive
Ok, well, I asked Dr. Bronner and he said: FAMILY SOAPMAKERS SINCE 1858. DR. BRONNER’S. 18-IN-1 HEMP TEA TREE. PURE-CASTILE SOAP. CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE. MADE WITH ORGANIC OILS. Ingredients: Water, Organic Coconut Oil*, Potassium Hydroxidet, Organic Palm Kernel Oil*, Organic Olive
January 23, 2026 at 10:31 PM
“I asked Chat GPT”
Ok, well, I asked Dr. Bronner and he said: FAMILY SOAPMAKERS SINCE 1858. DR. BRONNER’S. 18-IN-1 HEMP TEA TREE. PURE-CASTILE SOAP. CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE. MADE WITH ORGANIC OILS. Ingredients: Water, Organic Coconut Oil*, Potassium Hydroxidet, Organic Palm Kernel Oil*, Organic Olive
Ok, well, I asked Dr. Bronner and he said: FAMILY SOAPMAKERS SINCE 1858. DR. BRONNER’S. 18-IN-1 HEMP TEA TREE. PURE-CASTILE SOAP. CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE. MADE WITH ORGANIC OILS. Ingredients: Water, Organic Coconut Oil*, Potassium Hydroxidet, Organic Palm Kernel Oil*, Organic Olive
Reposted by Chestbursty
This asshole who ate my phone cord today.
January 23, 2026 at 11:05 PM
This asshole who ate my phone cord today.
I stupidly put some boveda packets in the jar with my mushrooms thinking they would make them dryer bc I forgot that humidity control means there is humidity and I was thinking like dessicant packs. It's okay, this is a learning process and more are growing
January 23, 2026 at 11:03 PM
I stupidly put some boveda packets in the jar with my mushrooms thinking they would make them dryer bc I forgot that humidity control means there is humidity and I was thinking like dessicant packs. It's okay, this is a learning process and more are growing
Reposted by Chestbursty
i have decided to become Annoying
January 23, 2026 at 6:43 PM
i have decided to become Annoying
Reposted by Chestbursty
Look out for your neighbors and love thy neighbor, don’t let bullies push them around.
January 21, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Look out for your neighbors and love thy neighbor, don’t let bullies push them around.
Reposted by Chestbursty
Knees are the elbows of the legs
January 23, 2026 at 1:28 AM
Knees are the elbows of the legs
Reposted by Chestbursty
“Your profile said you were open to polyamory, so I brought my sock puppets.”
January 23, 2026 at 7:01 PM
“Your profile said you were open to polyamory, so I brought my sock puppets.”
Reposted by Chestbursty
my dad said the only path forward is if the earth collapses and we all die, so I guess that’s where I get that optimism from
January 23, 2026 at 7:59 PM
my dad said the only path forward is if the earth collapses and we all die, so I guess that’s where I get that optimism from
Reposted by Chestbursty
Cum is the jizz of the penis
January 22, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Cum is the jizz of the penis
Reposted by Chestbursty
Reposted by Chestbursty
STABBED IN THE DICK BY A TINY LITTLE HORSE
January 23, 2026 at 9:09 PM
STABBED IN THE DICK BY A TINY LITTLE HORSE
Reposted by Chestbursty
I got things to ignore and people to avoid.
February 15, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I got things to ignore and people to avoid.