Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
1. Be excellent to each other
2. Party on dudes
Mine: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaad7aufcmm3c
2. Party on dudes
Mine: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaad7aufcmm3c
Pinned
Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
· Apr 5
"Your laugh is like a sunset," I say right before I nail gun my hand to the frame of a revolving door
Reposted by Chestbursty
Going to the Silent Hill dispensary and it fucking sucks
January 23, 2026 at 3:24 AM
Going to the Silent Hill dispensary and it fucking sucks
Reposted by Chestbursty
just had to chase a grinch off my lawn in fucking january. it was picking pinecones off my tree to eat. that's not a christmas decoration, dumbass. you're eating a normal january tree
January 22, 2026 at 10:32 PM
just had to chase a grinch off my lawn in fucking january. it was picking pinecones off my tree to eat. that's not a christmas decoration, dumbass. you're eating a normal january tree
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Timeline cleanse.
January 23, 2026 at 3:26 AM
Timeline cleanse.
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gotta pee but can't get up because cats
January 23, 2026 at 2:57 AM
gotta pee but can't get up because cats
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and you may ask yourself
“well, how did I get here?”
and you may say to yourself
“my god, what have I done?"
“well, how did I get here?”
and you may say to yourself
“my god, what have I done?"
January 23, 2026 at 1:32 AM
and you may ask yourself
“well, how did I get here?”
and you may say to yourself
“my god, what have I done?"
“well, how did I get here?”
and you may say to yourself
“my god, what have I done?"
Reposted by Chestbursty
You're like the steaming hot soup dumpling that I know is gonna burn the shit outta my mouth but I just can't wait for it to cool down before I shove it into my gaping maw, babe.
January 23, 2026 at 3:01 AM
You're like the steaming hot soup dumpling that I know is gonna burn the shit outta my mouth but I just can't wait for it to cool down before I shove it into my gaping maw, babe.
Reposted by Chestbursty
Also, here’s a sweet grey fox from 2021
January 23, 2026 at 3:01 AM
Also, here’s a sweet grey fox from 2021
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If LinkedIn went down for a few days, c suite execs might be forced to look at other social media platforms and realize that every concept touted on LinkedIn is utterly despised.
January 23, 2026 at 1:32 AM
If LinkedIn went down for a few days, c suite execs might be forced to look at other social media platforms and realize that every concept touted on LinkedIn is utterly despised.
Reposted by Chestbursty
Can we PLEASE just make something better after the already shitty status quo is demolished
January 23, 2026 at 1:47 AM
Can we PLEASE just make something better after the already shitty status quo is demolished
Reposted by Chestbursty
There is a lot of ethereal paper work in becoming a ghost and there is a backlog of- they are a bit behind. You should see ghosts coming from the 1960's soon
They stopped making ghosts after the civil war. That's why you never see one talking on a cell phone
January 23, 2026 at 2:15 AM
There is a lot of ethereal paper work in becoming a ghost and there is a backlog of- they are a bit behind. You should see ghosts coming from the 1960's soon
Reposted by Chestbursty
They stopped making ghosts after the civil war. That's why you never see one talking on a cell phone
January 23, 2026 at 2:12 AM
They stopped making ghosts after the civil war. That's why you never see one talking on a cell phone
Reposted by Chestbursty
Look at this strawberry's beautiful ass
January 22, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Look at this strawberry's beautiful ass
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[Christoper Walken voice] "Everything's coming up Milhouse!"
January 23, 2026 at 2:33 AM
[Christoper Walken voice] "Everything's coming up Milhouse!"
Reposted by Chestbursty
Turns out you can just buy & eat a birthday cake whenever you want to.
Nobody checks.
Nobody checks.
January 22, 2026 at 6:48 AM
Turns out you can just buy & eat a birthday cake whenever you want to.
Nobody checks.
Nobody checks.
Reposted by Chestbursty
Some people belong in the past tense
January 21, 2026 at 6:26 AM
Some people belong in the past tense
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are the adults in the room with us right now
January 21, 2026 at 7:54 PM
are the adults in the room with us right now
Reposted by Chestbursty
"Jeggings are so out of style, but jorts just evolve to new trends."
"Wtf you talking about"
"You know- jean leggings. Jean shorts. ... What's that stench?"
"I jarted"
"Wtf you talking about"
"You know- jean leggings. Jean shorts. ... What's that stench?"
"I jarted"
January 22, 2026 at 10:02 PM
"Jeggings are so out of style, but jorts just evolve to new trends."
"Wtf you talking about"
"You know- jean leggings. Jean shorts. ... What's that stench?"
"I jarted"
"Wtf you talking about"
"You know- jean leggings. Jean shorts. ... What's that stench?"
"I jarted"
Reposted by Chestbursty
I'm not sure I like being labeled a 'problematic parent' when I'm just one mom in a sea of parents. I think I'd prefer 'evil succubus parent', give the staff and faculty a more accurate and full picture.
January 22, 2026 at 9:58 PM
I'm not sure I like being labeled a 'problematic parent' when I'm just one mom in a sea of parents. I think I'd prefer 'evil succubus parent', give the staff and faculty a more accurate and full picture.
Reposted by Chestbursty
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i will only support greyhound racing if the greyhounds are busses
January 23, 2026 at 12:58 AM
i will only support greyhound racing if the greyhounds are busses
Reposted by Chestbursty
When you die, they should publish your weight at birth and at death, like they do the dates.
January 20, 2026 at 10:12 PM
When you die, they should publish your weight at birth and at death, like they do the dates.
Reposted by Chestbursty
Kinda sucks that the first thing everyone wants to know when you're born is how much you weigh
January 17, 2026 at 5:37 PM
Kinda sucks that the first thing everyone wants to know when you're born is how much you weigh
Reposted by Chestbursty
Humans in track events, conversely, should be required to run on their arms and legs.
January 23, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Humans in track events, conversely, should be required to run on their arms and legs.
Reposted by Chestbursty
i will only support the continuation of horse racing if they make the horses run on two legs like people
January 23, 2026 at 12:57 AM
i will only support the continuation of horse racing if they make the horses run on two legs like people