Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out.
Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023.
Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023.
Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
Pinned
Wife: "Love, what exactly is discharge?"
Me: "Uh... Okay... Well, you should know, but when a woman is ovulating, her cervix makes a mucus that..."
Wife: [showing me her phone] "no, what exactly is THIS CHARGE"
Me: "Oh. I bought a hat for my penis from penis hat dot com."
Me: "Uh... Okay... Well, you should know, but when a woman is ovulating, her cervix makes a mucus that..."
Wife: [showing me her phone] "no, what exactly is THIS CHARGE"
Me: "Oh. I bought a hat for my penis from penis hat dot com."
I asked ChatGPT to explain your joke and it killed itself.
November 29, 2025 at 7:27 AM
I asked ChatGPT to explain your joke and it killed itself.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
One of history's greatest monsters has to be Godzilla.
November 28, 2025 at 6:03 AM
One of history's greatest monsters has to be Godzilla.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
I feel bad for the kids of millennials. their moms are so hot.
November 28, 2025 at 7:50 AM
I feel bad for the kids of millennials. their moms are so hot.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
Cauliflower is just racist broccoli.
November 28, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Cauliflower is just racist broccoli.
Every time I look at you, I feel inspired to paint or draw some new feature of your body that I never noticed before. I think it's finally time I introduce myself,
November 28, 2025 at 8:56 AM
Every time I look at you, I feel inspired to paint or draw some new feature of your body that I never noticed before. I think it's finally time I introduce myself,
Cauliflower is just racist broccoli.
November 28, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Cauliflower is just racist broccoli.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
To my future children, mommy is so sorry.
I feel bad for the kids of millennials. their moms are so hot.
November 28, 2025 at 8:07 AM
To my future children, mommy is so sorry.
I feel bad for the kids of millennials. their moms are so hot.
November 28, 2025 at 7:50 AM
I feel bad for the kids of millennials. their moms are so hot.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
me: do you have any black friday deals?
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
November 28, 2025 at 6:32 AM
me: do you have any black friday deals?
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
I know I'm not very funny these days but I'm not sad anymore so we get what we get
November 28, 2025 at 6:00 AM
I know I'm not very funny these days but I'm not sad anymore so we get what we get
One of history's greatest monsters has to be Godzilla.
November 28, 2025 at 6:03 AM
One of history's greatest monsters has to be Godzilla.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
Call me Post Malone the way I'm posting when I'malone
May 22, 2024 at 5:03 AM
Call me Post Malone the way I'm posting when I'malone
My wish for you is that you and your partner are as horny for each other as the guy that invented the turducken.
November 28, 2025 at 4:13 AM
My wish for you is that you and your partner are as horny for each other as the guy that invented the turducken.
the joke was “holy frijoles.” It wasn’t funny, just helping you out if you saw this and wasted time on it.
Wow! Thats amazing! It’s like religiously significant beans!
November 28, 2025 at 1:51 AM
the joke was “holy frijoles.” It wasn’t funny, just helping you out if you saw this and wasted time on it.
“Be warned, I listen to white noise to go to sleep” [turns on “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey]
November 28, 2025 at 12:31 AM
“Be warned, I listen to white noise to go to sleep” [turns on “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey]
Up up down down left right left right. Do that to the clitoris a few times and she’ll be good to go.
November 27, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Up up down down left right left right. Do that to the clitoris a few times and she’ll be good to go.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
There’s still time to revoke the Thanksgiving invitations of anyone that supported this.
It is *Morally Correct* to disinvite your racist uncle, or rabbit holed grandmother. No one contributing to this deserves your love.
It is *Morally Correct* to disinvite your racist uncle, or rabbit holed grandmother. No one contributing to this deserves your love.
November 25, 2024 at 10:49 PM
There’s still time to revoke the Thanksgiving invitations of anyone that supported this.
It is *Morally Correct* to disinvite your racist uncle, or rabbit holed grandmother. No one contributing to this deserves your love.
It is *Morally Correct* to disinvite your racist uncle, or rabbit holed grandmother. No one contributing to this deserves your love.
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
We’re soon going to find out that the real thanksgiving turkey was all of us.
November 25, 2024 at 10:46 PM
We’re soon going to find out that the real thanksgiving turkey was all of us.
Everybody shut up, I can’t hear the airplane safety instructions.
November 26, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Everybody shut up, I can’t hear the airplane safety instructions.
Boogeyman [creepily]: “more neutrals, fewer hoodies”
My closet ghosts have been questioning my fashion choices
November 26, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Boogeyman [creepily]: “more neutrals, fewer hoodies”
My closet ghosts have been questioning my fashion choices
November 26, 2025 at 8:09 PM
My closet ghosts have been questioning my fashion choices
Reposted by Surprised Face Guy
I wear 50 shirts at all times so if I die on the street my chalk outline is fucking jacked.
November 9, 2024 at 5:33 AM
I wear 50 shirts at all times so if I die on the street my chalk outline is fucking jacked.
Slathering deodorant in my private areas so if I die unexpectedly the coroner is like “damn this dude’s balls smelled like lilac”
November 26, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Slathering deodorant in my private areas so if I die unexpectedly the coroner is like “damn this dude’s balls smelled like lilac”
Wow! Thats amazing! It’s like religiously significant beans!
November 24, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Wow! Thats amazing! It’s like religiously significant beans!
You’re a green one, wicked witch
November 24, 2025 at 7:12 PM
You’re a green one, wicked witch