Pinned
slate
@pleasebegneiss.bsky.social
· Nov 12
since bluesky doesn’t have a drafts folder i’m just going to write my drafts under this post. nobody look, these aren’t finished yet
i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar
December 5, 2025 at 11:55 PM
i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar
cop: have you been drinking tonight?
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
December 5, 2025 at 10:46 PM
cop: have you been drinking tonight?
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
cowboy: no officer
cop: i was talking to your horse
i just outbid netflix to buy WB an HBO 🙈
December 5, 2025 at 3:29 PM
i just outbid netflix to buy WB an HBO 🙈
i’m celebrating black friday tomorrow to avoid the crowds
December 5, 2025 at 3:58 AM
i’m celebrating black friday tomorrow to avoid the crowds
[mj lenderman voice]
December 5, 2025 at 2:51 AM
[mj lenderman voice]
Reposted by slate
Dreamed I got a chastising message at work that said, “You should know the names of all the Muppets,” and someone stuck up for me, saying, “I don’t think this one has a name,” and they attached a picture of like a white Gonzo with no eyes
December 4, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Dreamed I got a chastising message at work that said, “You should know the names of all the Muppets,” and someone stuck up for me, saying, “I don’t think this one has a name,” and they attached a picture of like a white Gonzo with no eyes
i don’t have a spotify wrapped. i haven’t been able to listen to music since The Curse
December 4, 2025 at 4:19 AM
i don’t have a spotify wrapped. i haven’t been able to listen to music since The Curse
as the law and order president i will be releasing the criminals and locking up innocent people to create the most lawful, orderly for-profit institutions in the history of america
December 4, 2025 at 4:06 AM
as the law and order president i will be releasing the criminals and locking up innocent people to create the most lawful, orderly for-profit institutions in the history of america
they should make a meal cost one hour of wages for everyone and then ask what billionaires think
Jeff Bezos and the Washington Post are at it again.
December 4, 2025 at 1:35 AM
they should make a meal cost one hour of wages for everyone and then ask what billionaires think
i’m sorry a WHAT, egg, and cheese mcmuffin??
December 3, 2025 at 5:01 AM
i’m sorry a WHAT, egg, and cheese mcmuffin??
we’ve got the juice
Mark Cuban Says ‘It Became Pointless’ To Post On Bluesky Due To The Hate He Gets There
Mark Cuban Says 'It Became Pointless' To Post On Bluesky Due To The Hate He Gets There
Mark Cuban, the billionaire entrepreneur and longtime "Shark Tank" star, says he’s done posting on Bluesky for now, and the reason is simple: it’s not worth
offthefrontpage.com
December 3, 2025 at 4:51 AM
we’ve got the juice
Reposted by slate
you’re 12 years old. ask jeeves just hit the market. and you can search for one thing.
December 2, 2025 at 1:42 PM
you’re 12 years old. ask jeeves just hit the market. and you can search for one thing.
doctor: are you sure? he will get bigger
mrs. cratchit: we’re naming him tiny tim
mrs. cratchit: we’re naming him tiny tim
December 2, 2025 at 8:12 AM
doctor: are you sure? he will get bigger
mrs. cratchit: we’re naming him tiny tim
mrs. cratchit: we’re naming him tiny tim
this is the land of opportunity. where anyone can start their life over with the world’s largest c-section
December 2, 2025 at 6:09 AM
this is the land of opportunity. where anyone can start their life over with the world’s largest c-section
seems reckless to war with venezuela while we’re in the middle of the war on christmas
December 2, 2025 at 4:16 AM
seems reckless to war with venezuela while we’re in the middle of the war on christmas
i will be the first to sign up for a social media site that lets you filter out all AI content
December 1, 2025 at 6:12 AM
i will be the first to sign up for a social media site that lets you filter out all AI content
going to bed on a sunday after a 4-day weekend
December 1, 2025 at 5:42 AM
going to bed on a sunday after a 4-day weekend
when the waiter tries to take our bread and wine
December 1, 2025 at 5:04 AM
when the waiter tries to take our bread and wine
nightmare shrooms rotation
Tomorrow Grimes will DJ a livestream of immortality influencer Bryan Johnson tripping on shrooms to determine its effect on longevity. Mr. Beast and the CEO of Salesforce will be there too.
Grimes DJing Immortality Influencer's Shroom Trip With Special Guest Mr. Beast
Grimes is a fan of Bryan Johnson, the multimillionaire and immortality influencer who spends his time trying to fight death. He is perhaps best known for undergoing plasma transfusions with donations ...
stereogum.com
December 1, 2025 at 3:14 AM
nightmare shrooms rotation
no my brain is fine i got the MRI for my friend
December 1, 2025 at 2:07 AM
no my brain is fine i got the MRI for my friend
strong floor, no ceiling, weird middle, price firm, i know what i got
December 1, 2025 at 1:00 AM
strong floor, no ceiling, weird middle, price firm, i know what i got
welcome to america, the rich are inventing new numbers for their bank accounts but at least the bottom is rock
No value, no villain, no vision. Sounds like the tagline for the earnings call of a collapsing appliance retailer
December 1, 2025 at 12:27 AM
welcome to america, the rich are inventing new numbers for their bank accounts but at least the bottom is rock
going from 4-day weekend to 5-day work week should be illegal. it’s a shock to the system. i can’t just quit loafing about cold turkey
November 30, 2025 at 8:21 PM
going from 4-day weekend to 5-day work week should be illegal. it’s a shock to the system. i can’t just quit loafing about cold turkey
who gave my phone number to the turkey community
November 30, 2025 at 3:23 AM
who gave my phone number to the turkey community
i’m not ready to take down my 12-ft tall turkey skeleton
November 29, 2025 at 4:39 AM
i’m not ready to take down my 12-ft tall turkey skeleton