Wristy
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wristroom.bsky.social
Wristy
@wristroom.bsky.social
He/him. Probably autistic.

check out my skeets below

Random: https://tinyurl.com/ycxabsnk

Best: https://tinyurl.com/ys6vscup

recent: https://tinyurl.com/yc32n87e
Pinned
If i was a wizard I'd use my powers mainly for remembering why I entered a room
Reposted by Wristy
Denethor: Boromir would have made bratBEST
December 15, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Just a reminder to Christians not to pray to Jesus on Christmas day. It's not fair to bother him on his birthday.
December 15, 2025 at 11:39 PM
In England:

Upper class: detached house
Middle class: semi detached
Working class: terraced house

In Canada:

Upper class: snow plow
Middle class: snow blower
Working class: shovel
December 15, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Please call the town and let them know they should stop plowing the roads. My driveway is clear
December 15, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Like all good xennials, I learned everything I know about burning man from "Malcolm in the Middle"
December 15, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Denethor: Boromir would have made bratBEST
December 15, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Frodo: what will I see?

Galadriel: the mirror shows many things. Things that were, things that are, and things that have not yet come to pass

Frodo: you could just say "I don't know"...
December 15, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Reposted by Wristy
Orc: my lord, what does the eye command?

Saruman: we have work to do

Orc: could... Could you be more specific?
December 14, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Orc: my lord, what does the eye command?

Saruman: we have work to do

Orc: could... Could you be more specific?
December 14, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Hopefully this Christmas will be better than last. Last year some fat bastard came down my chimney and called my wife a ho
December 14, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Reposted by Wristy
i try to stay out of jazz clubs but now i'm being accused of sax evasion
December 11, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Reposted by Wristy
When a sex therapist asks if you’re into CBT or CBT you really need to ask follow up questions before saying yes
December 13, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Reposted by Wristy
Went to WholeFoods without a reusable bag and now I’m being airlifted to a black site for interrogation and torture.
September 21, 2024 at 1:14 PM
The Geneva convention is very clear about torture but surprisingly silent about group chats
December 13, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Reposted by Wristy
a 7 layer dip only every layer is pills
December 12, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Reposted by Wristy
an occupational hazard of being a scientist is that you tend to avoid saying anything too definite because you know there are ALWAYS exceptions. Most of the time, anyway. Usually. Except when...
December 12, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Reposted by Wristy
do y'all ever wonder which is worse asparagus pee or coffee pee?
December 12, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Reposted by Wristy
where is everyone throwing out their bathwater and why do they not have drains
December 12, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Reposted by Wristy
ChatGPT Convinced a Man to Cut Off His Dick and Balls, Then Display it as Baby Jesus in His Town’s Nativity Scene. Has AI Finally Gone Too Far?
December 12, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Reposted by Wristy
If you get rid of the Fs, Flava Flav becomes Lava Lav. Really makes ya think, man.
December 12, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Reposted by Wristy
An occupational hazard of working with homophones is falling off a latter.
December 12, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Reposted by Wristy
IRS Auditor: Says here you paid Ms. Sandy Urpine over $10,000 for “woodworking”?

Pinocchio: Yes, she worked on all the wood in this room *nose doesn’t move*
December 12, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Reposted by Wristy
Can’t. I’m refinishing the wood paneling in my den of iniquity.
September 20, 2024 at 9:16 AM
an occupational hazard of being a scientist is that you tend to avoid saying anything too definite because you know there are ALWAYS exceptions. Most of the time, anyway. Usually. Except when...
December 12, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Them: measure twice, cut once

Me: measure five times, cut wrong once, swear about it, blame the measuring tape, give up.
December 12, 2025 at 5:53 PM