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Scare Blair

@blairloudly.bsky.social

8.3K followers 700 following 5K posts

my cats run this account 🇨🇦🏳️‍🌈 my thumbs typed these https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:oj3db6konv7tykrlt5qhd4ei/feed/aaamyrujnfzcc top things my thumbs typed https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:oj3db6konv7tykrlt5qhd4ei/feed/aaahsiujuhedi

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 4d

everything is a joke but nothing is funny anymore

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

[interview] it says here under skills ‘useful member of society’

[me] oh shoot it smudged i wrote useless

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 5d

it is acceptable to wipe your hands on a sleeping relative because they are your napkin

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 5d

JUDGE: will the jury read the verdict

JUROR: on the charge of possession of coke we find the defendant-

ME & JUROR AT THE SAME TIME: -guilty

ME: jinx you owe me coke

JUROR: w-what no

JUDGE: *bangs gavel* pay up it’s the law

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 2d

19TH CENTURY ENGLISH PROVERB: may you live in interesting times
ME, IN 2025: first of all, fuck you

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 2d

Who needs sex when you have cool ranch doritos?

Therapist: *scribbling furiously*

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

semi automatic feelings

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

if you stay grumpy you dont have to get grumpy

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

[watching popular media as an old guy] thank fuck i dont know who any of these people are

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grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 2d

the best human on the planet can't compete with a halfway decent dog. would you pick up the best human's shit for them? the defense rests.

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💀Tombkick💀 @doomkick.com · 2d

The heartbreak of writing a banger, and knowing you won't be able to top it for weeks.

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 2d

This is why they don't let me sit near the emergency doors now

Inside of an empty passenger aircraft, with the slide fully deployed and twisted all over the place. Date on photo is 12/9/2003

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 2d

AMERICA: let’s give $20 billion to Argentina, what is money anyway

ALSO AMERICA: HeaLtHcaRe FoR aLL? wHo iS gOinG to PaY FoR It

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debbspook @debbshock.blue · 2d

give a dude a fish, nobody knows what the fuck he'll do with it. he could wear it on his head. dudes are so weird

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 2d

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do scrapbooking.

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 2d

Lady Gaga implies he existence of Gentlemen Gugu, I'm not deleting this.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

A shortwave radio is a thoughtful gift choice for that friend who’s afraid of swimming.

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Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · 2d

Rolling up in the low rider

Who ordered more cowbell?

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 2d

ME: Is there another name for the large seaweed that grows to form underwater forests?

GIRLFRIEND: Sea kelp

ME: Omg that's why I'm asking YOU Sharon

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Angry Chango @angrychango.bsky.social · 2d

It turns out that life is neither a comedy nor a tragedy. It’s a fucking infomercial

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🎃punkin spice spooky geist💀 @pretty-vulgar.bsky.social · 2d

girl dinner, she says as she unhinges her jaw and swallows an extra large pizza whole

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

I didn’t win a Nobel either.

*kicks dirt*

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grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 2d

before you partake in the bluesky exodus, remember what father flannigan said: mastodon causes blindness.

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

awe amy thank you 🥰❤️

Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

thamk u mel ❤️🥰

Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 2d

my skull cracks open and my thoughts swirl up into the sky my feelings creating stars that shine back down on me sitting still and finally ever so quiet

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