batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
my mom fucked a bat
just my bullshit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6ljac3gxzqxy56fhx7qu3jqd/feed/aaali652rhjzc
just my bullshit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6ljac3gxzqxy56fhx7qu3jqd/feed/aaali652rhjzc
Pinned
batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
· Jul 5
I stand under the shower's spray—blood from my would-be usurper clone twisting down the drain—and slowly realize all my scars are missing…
The shocked malaise upon realizing the terrible price levied by wastrel predecessors is too costly an inheritance.
December 1, 2025 at 11:32 PM
The shocked malaise upon realizing the terrible price levied by wastrel predecessors is too costly an inheritance.
starting my sci fi novel like “the synthetic carbohydrate farmers trek through the electrolyte mine to reach the amino acid excavation site…”
December 1, 2025 at 7:56 PM
starting my sci fi novel like “the synthetic carbohydrate farmers trek through the electrolyte mine to reach the amino acid excavation site…”
Reposted by batkaren
Ordered the bottomless brunch, and now I’ve been in free-fall for hours.
The mimosas could be boozier.
The mimosas could be boozier.
May 31, 2024 at 1:21 PM
Ordered the bottomless brunch, and now I’ve been in free-fall for hours.
The mimosas could be boozier.
The mimosas could be boozier.
Reposted by batkaren
For the 0.01% of germs not killed by bleach, the worst part is the crippling survivors guilt
November 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
For the 0.01% of germs not killed by bleach, the worst part is the crippling survivors guilt
Reposted by batkaren
Once again, if you haven't been convinced by [waves arms at fucking everything], if you do not live in the United States, DO NOT FUCKING VISIT THE UNITED STATES.
Matt Blaze (@[email protected])
Attached: 1 image
FFS. For the first time, non-citizens will be charged a hefty surcharge to enter US national parks (an extra $100/person, and annual passes for noncitizens will cost $250 instead of...
federate.social
November 26, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Once again, if you haven't been convinced by [waves arms at fucking everything], if you do not live in the United States, DO NOT FUCKING VISIT THE UNITED STATES.
Reposted by batkaren
"Strong floor, no ceiling" is very literally the basis of like every Gilded Age political cartoon
November 30, 2025 at 9:41 PM
"Strong floor, no ceiling" is very literally the basis of like every Gilded Age political cartoon
Reposted by batkaren
Strong floor, no ceiling.
November 30, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Strong floor, no ceiling.
Any minute now these two Ziploc halves will actually connect.
Any. Minute. Now.
Any. Minute. Now.
December 1, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Any minute now these two Ziploc halves will actually connect.
Any. Minute. Now.
Any. Minute. Now.
Reposted by batkaren
One fun game you can play in your middle age is "Am I Having a Heart Attack or am I Just Constipated?"
November 22, 2025 at 6:49 PM
One fun game you can play in your middle age is "Am I Having a Heart Attack or am I Just Constipated?"
Reposted by batkaren
you will be visited by four ghosts on Christmas Eve: the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, the Ghost of Christmas Future, and Patrick Swayze, who will assist you in pottery class
December 11, 2023 at 10:57 PM
you will be visited by four ghosts on Christmas Eve: the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, the Ghost of Christmas Future, and Patrick Swayze, who will assist you in pottery class
Reposted by batkaren
what even is dirt? rocks! who authorized this??
July 22, 2025 at 8:47 PM
what even is dirt? rocks! who authorized this??
Reposted by batkaren
She was insecure, like a Parisian museum situated next to a ladder store
October 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
She was insecure, like a Parisian museum situated next to a ladder store
Reposted by batkaren
Reposted by batkaren
*guy who fixes the direction the toilet paper roll faces in the bar bathroom*
November 28, 2025 at 10:20 PM
*guy who fixes the direction the toilet paper roll faces in the bar bathroom*
Reposted by batkaren
[powerful black mold crawls out from bathroom stall, posts on social media]: I also lived with Olivia Nuzzi for 4 years
November 18, 2025 at 2:44 PM
[powerful black mold crawls out from bathroom stall, posts on social media]: I also lived with Olivia Nuzzi for 4 years
Reposted by batkaren
(TV Ad)
"Have psoriasis?
"Yes"
"Want to be able to leave the house?
"I leave the house all the time"
"But ur a hideous monster"
"It's just dried sk.."
'HIDEOUS MONSTER"
"I barely think about it"
"LEPER"
"It's nothing"
"FREAK"
"Freak?"
"MUTANT!"
"Mutant?"
"GET UR SELF ESTEEM BACK WITH OTEZLA™️"
"Have psoriasis?
"Yes"
"Want to be able to leave the house?
"I leave the house all the time"
"But ur a hideous monster"
"It's just dried sk.."
'HIDEOUS MONSTER"
"I barely think about it"
"LEPER"
"It's nothing"
"FREAK"
"Freak?"
"MUTANT!"
"Mutant?"
"GET UR SELF ESTEEM BACK WITH OTEZLA™️"
November 29, 2025 at 6:04 AM
(TV Ad)
"Have psoriasis?
"Yes"
"Want to be able to leave the house?
"I leave the house all the time"
"But ur a hideous monster"
"It's just dried sk.."
'HIDEOUS MONSTER"
"I barely think about it"
"LEPER"
"It's nothing"
"FREAK"
"Freak?"
"MUTANT!"
"Mutant?"
"GET UR SELF ESTEEM BACK WITH OTEZLA™️"
"Have psoriasis?
"Yes"
"Want to be able to leave the house?
"I leave the house all the time"
"But ur a hideous monster"
"It's just dried sk.."
'HIDEOUS MONSTER"
"I barely think about it"
"LEPER"
"It's nothing"
"FREAK"
"Freak?"
"MUTANT!"
"Mutant?"
"GET UR SELF ESTEEM BACK WITH OTEZLA™️"
Reposted by batkaren
No better way to really strike at the heart of illegal drug importation than by pardoning a significant public figure convicted of just that.
November 29, 2025 at 8:15 PM
No better way to really strike at the heart of illegal drug importation than by pardoning a significant public figure convicted of just that.
ROBOT: You cannot defeat us.
ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?
ROBOT: [twitch, spark]
ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?
ROBOT: [twitch, spark]
November 28, 2025 at 6:07 PM
ROBOT: You cannot defeat us.
ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?
ROBOT: [twitch, spark]
ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?
ROBOT: [twitch, spark]
Reposted by batkaren
Let me at least have a sip of arsenic before more unprecedented reveals.
September 15, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Let me at least have a sip of arsenic before more unprecedented reveals.
Reposted by batkaren
John Wick was cool but those movies would have been way cooler if that was Queen Elizabeth II
November 22, 2025 at 7:56 AM
John Wick was cool but those movies would have been way cooler if that was Queen Elizabeth II
Reposted by batkaren
DON'T TRY TO FORCE THE POSTS OR YOU'LL INFECT THE WHOLE AREA.
November 26, 2025 at 4:26 AM
DON'T TRY TO FORCE THE POSTS OR YOU'LL INFECT THE WHOLE AREA.
Reposted by batkaren
*gets last year’s discounted sale items out of the attic*
November 28, 2025 at 4:21 PM
*gets last year’s discounted sale items out of the attic*
The Peanuts gang sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table, a seed dropping in slow motion from Woodstock’s fork as Charlie Brown brings out the roasted turkey.
November 27, 2025 at 10:34 PM
The Peanuts gang sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table, a seed dropping in slow motion from Woodstock’s fork as Charlie Brown brings out the roasted turkey.
Just let Grim die, The New Yorker
November 27, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Just let Grim die, The New Yorker
Reposted by batkaren
[30 seconds into listening to me ramble on how the simulation dictates our perception of a reality in which we are both consuming and being consumed]
November 14, 2025 at 2:17 AM
[30 seconds into listening to me ramble on how the simulation dictates our perception of a reality in which we are both consuming and being consumed]