batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
my mom fucked a bat
just my bullshit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6ljac3gxzqxy56fhx7qu3jqd/feed/aaali652rhjzc
just my bullshit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6ljac3gxzqxy56fhx7qu3jqd/feed/aaali652rhjzc
Pinned
batkaren
@batkaren.bsky.social
· Jul 5
I stand under the shower's spray—blood from my would-be usurper clone twisting down the drain—and slowly realize all my scars are missing…
Reposted by batkaren
"Cheat day," I whisper, clicking to buy another off-brand Hummel.
November 17, 2025 at 10:02 PM
"Cheat day," I whisper, clicking to buy another off-brand Hummel.
Reposted by batkaren
Sharing a bed should be like boxing:
• meet in the middle
• fist-bump
• put in mouthguards
• go to separate corners
• no touching until 1st bell
• meet in the middle
• fist-bump
• put in mouthguards
• go to separate corners
• no touching until 1st bell
January 21, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Sharing a bed should be like boxing:
• meet in the middle
• fist-bump
• put in mouthguards
• go to separate corners
• no touching until 1st bell
• meet in the middle
• fist-bump
• put in mouthguards
• go to separate corners
• no touching until 1st bell
Reposted by batkaren
Channeling my anger into something more productive*
*a wank and a nap
*a wank and a nap
November 14, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Channeling my anger into something more productive*
*a wank and a nap
*a wank and a nap
Reposted by batkaren
Kohl's has assured me that my Kohl's Cash is stable and backed by some terrific deals on accessories for Fall.
November 15, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Kohl's has assured me that my Kohl's Cash is stable and backed by some terrific deals on accessories for Fall.
Reposted by batkaren
replacing my all seasonal decorations with welcome interstellar vessel
3i/atlas adornments.
3i/atlas adornments.
October 24, 2025 at 4:50 PM
replacing my all seasonal decorations with welcome interstellar vessel
3i/atlas adornments.
3i/atlas adornments.
Reposted by batkaren
if i unclench my butthole my insides might fall out, and other miscellaneous 3AM worries
November 9, 2025 at 8:55 AM
if i unclench my butthole my insides might fall out, and other miscellaneous 3AM worries
Reposted by batkaren
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
November 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
Reposted by batkaren
first date idea: I eat a rotisserie chicken and you're in your home, eating your own rotisserie chicken
November 17, 2025 at 10:24 PM
first date idea: I eat a rotisserie chicken and you're in your home, eating your own rotisserie chicken
Reposted by batkaren
In an adjustment period (accidentally left the largest text setting on for days and now everything looks really small)
November 18, 2025 at 1:23 PM
In an adjustment period (accidentally left the largest text setting on for days and now everything looks really small)
"Cheat day," I whisper, clicking to buy another off-brand Hummel.
November 17, 2025 at 10:02 PM
"Cheat day," I whisper, clicking to buy another off-brand Hummel.
Reposted by batkaren
Wrote in my Gratitude Journal this morning, like I do every day, that I’m particularly thankful for my Spite Journal, which now comprises several handsome volumes.
November 25, 2024 at 1:03 PM
Wrote in my Gratitude Journal this morning, like I do every day, that I’m particularly thankful for my Spite Journal, which now comprises several handsome volumes.
Reposted by batkaren
[purring seductively in your ear] omg babe my heart is racing not because of you i just have severe anxiety
October 27, 2024 at 11:46 PM
[purring seductively in your ear] omg babe my heart is racing not because of you i just have severe anxiety
Reposted by batkaren
Sometimes you find an old take out menu and see the most expensive sandwich on it was like 7 bucks and then you cry a little
November 17, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Sometimes you find an old take out menu and see the most expensive sandwich on it was like 7 bucks and then you cry a little
Reposted by batkaren
I think I've got more critical mass than the average person
July 1, 2025 at 3:01 AM
I think I've got more critical mass than the average person
At what financial inflection point does one transition from believing taxes are a reasonable tool for funding government programs to becoming a hungry ghost whose desire for wealth can never be satiated?
November 16, 2025 at 5:15 PM
At what financial inflection point does one transition from believing taxes are a reasonable tool for funding government programs to becoming a hungry ghost whose desire for wealth can never be satiated?
Reposted by batkaren
That one judge on Chopped that only likes chicken nuggies and ketchup
November 16, 2025 at 12:16 AM
That one judge on Chopped that only likes chicken nuggies and ketchup
Reposted by batkaren
Before getting involved with someone, ask yourself: Is this a person I can visualize cropping out of pictures one day?
November 6, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Before getting involved with someone, ask yourself: Is this a person I can visualize cropping out of pictures one day?
Reposted by batkaren
the fellowship of the arts: thread
October 7, 2025 at 10:00 PM
the fellowship of the arts: thread
Reposted by batkaren
so apparently 15yos are all lolitas preying on these men and are also old enough to be tried as an adult for a crime but can’t decide their own gender affirming care oh ok
November 15, 2025 at 9:08 PM
so apparently 15yos are all lolitas preying on these men and are also old enough to be tried as an adult for a crime but can’t decide their own gender affirming care oh ok
Reposted by batkaren
I'd eat less mcdonalds if other restaurants also had a ketchup tap for folks lookin to get wild with their soda
November 14, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I'd eat less mcdonalds if other restaurants also had a ketchup tap for folks lookin to get wild with their soda
Reposted by batkaren
Hate when my country rolls out new terms of service
September 16, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Hate when my country rolls out new terms of service
Reposted by batkaren
the face i make when i have a great idea, before i realize the inevitable repercussions
October 30, 2025 at 12:36 PM
the face i make when i have a great idea, before i realize the inevitable repercussions
Reposted by batkaren
They want $60 for an hour at the axe throwing place? For that money I can buy a case of beer and my own axe, and throw it at whatever I want until I'm arrested again
November 14, 2025 at 5:20 AM
They want $60 for an hour at the axe throwing place? For that money I can buy a case of beer and my own axe, and throw it at whatever I want until I'm arrested again
A recording tells you to leave a message at the tone, then emits a sound unlike any you've heard before. Your neck feels wet—you reach up to find your ear is bleeding. You watch the phone absorb your blood, and the mechanical voice informs you that your message has been received.
November 15, 2025 at 1:11 AM
A recording tells you to leave a message at the tone, then emits a sound unlike any you've heard before. Your neck feels wet—you reach up to find your ear is bleeding. You watch the phone absorb your blood, and the mechanical voice informs you that your message has been received.
Reposted by batkaren
Shout at the devil. Holler at ya boy. Speak at a reasonable volume to clerical staff.
November 8, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Shout at the devil. Holler at ya boy. Speak at a reasonable volume to clerical staff.