Grimm
@grimmreality.bsky.social
Sometimes drunk. Profoundly undateable. I use the c-word as if I am Scottish but am not. Shitposting through the dumbfuckpocalypse. Vet my stupid shit here: https://
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagblxcbo6g6
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Pinned
Grimm
@grimmreality.bsky.social
· Oct 19
HEY, we can do pinned posts now so I am going back to this old chestnut as my calling card.
Reposted by Grimm
Reposted by Grimm
We don't make balloon animals in this house. We make balloon vegetables. Here's a cucumber and a zucchini, you fucks.
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 AM
We don't make balloon animals in this house. We make balloon vegetables. Here's a cucumber and a zucchini, you fucks.
Reposted by Grimm
wow, he doesn't even NEED to jerk himself off in front of women. you're doing it for him!
November 29, 2025 at 11:18 PM
wow, he doesn't even NEED to jerk himself off in front of women. you're doing it for him!
A) psh whatev fuck that knob
B) the FUCK is going on with that umlaut?
B) the FUCK is going on with that umlaut?
When a cancelled performer reënters the culture, we expect them to offer us a great work, channelling their newfound clarity into the finest art they’ve ever made. With his new comedy show and début novel, has Louis C.K. met the bar?
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
Louis C.K.’s Next Chapter
In a new standup special, and a début novel, the comedian navigates murky, post-#MeToo terrain: not quite exiled, not quite welcomed back.
www.newyorker.com
November 30, 2025 at 2:57 AM
A) psh whatev fuck that knob
B) the FUCK is going on with that umlaut?
B) the FUCK is going on with that umlaut?
Reposted by Grimm
Next week: half cup of milk.
Then a pinch of salt. We’re only a month off from fresh chocolate chip cookies.
Then a pinch of salt. We’re only a month off from fresh chocolate chip cookies.
France’s far-right leader hit by egg, days after flour attack
French far-right leader hit on the head with an egg
Jordan Bardella, leader of France’s far-right National Rally party, was hit on the head with an egg Saturday, just days after another incident in which a protester threw flour at him.
www.ctvnews.ca
November 30, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Next week: half cup of milk.
Then a pinch of salt. We’re only a month off from fresh chocolate chip cookies.
Then a pinch of salt. We’re only a month off from fresh chocolate chip cookies.
I can't say I give Shit One who wins the USC-UCLA game but what I can say is it is probably the prettiest football game imaginable if you like primary colors.
November 30, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I can't say I give Shit One who wins the USC-UCLA game but what I can say is it is probably the prettiest football game imaginable if you like primary colors.
Reposted by Grimm
Tennessee people, vote for this lady this week. She's cool and she puts the country perilously close to having a single check and/or balance.
November 30, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Tennessee people, vote for this lady this week. She's cool and she puts the country perilously close to having a single check and/or balance.
Reposted by Grimm
when I detach my post from your quote post I hope it feels like you’re bombing a stand-up set and we can hear the sweat on your forehead drip and hit the stage
November 30, 2025 at 12:15 AM
when I detach my post from your quote post I hope it feels like you’re bombing a stand-up set and we can hear the sweat on your forehead drip and hit the stage
Reposted by Grimm
Ope, Mother Nature needs a Busch light, a casserole and to calm the fuck down
November 29, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Ope, Mother Nature needs a Busch light, a casserole and to calm the fuck down
Reposted by Grimm
DONT TAKE SKYRIZZI IF YOURE ALLERGIC TO SKYRIZZI YOU SIMPLETON YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL
November 30, 2025 at 12:56 AM
DONT TAKE SKYRIZZI IF YOURE ALLERGIC TO SKYRIZZI YOU SIMPLETON YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL
Reposted by Grimm
Fascinating how many wealthy Americans are like “guillotine me, I dare you!”
Tomorrow Grimes will DJ a livestream of immortality influencer Bryan Johnson tripping on shrooms to determine its effect on longevity. Mr. Beast and the CEO of Salesforce will be there too.
Grimes DJing Immortality Influencer's Shroom Trip With Special Guest Mr. Beast
Grimes is a fan of Bryan Johnson, the multimillionaire and immortality influencer who spends his time trying to fight death. He is perhaps best known for undergoing plasma transfusions with donations ...
stereogum.com
November 29, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Fascinating how many wealthy Americans are like “guillotine me, I dare you!”
Reposted by Grimm
Timeline cleanse and why NY rules.
Michael Rappaport hit in the head with snowball #nyc #snow #newyork #news #funny
YouTube video by BNB
www.youtube.com
November 29, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Timeline cleanse and why NY rules.
Reposted by Grimm
Louis C.K.? More like Louis No See, K. Thanks, I'll be here all night. Tip your waitresses
November 29, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Louis C.K.? More like Louis No See, K. Thanks, I'll be here all night. Tip your waitresses
"Hi, are my shoes ready?" I say.
The cobbler turns, stiffens, holding what appears to be a halberd behind his back. A monkey in bee costume turns and straightens, dropping a revolver. A weasel in a xmas sweater sits and pretends to read a newspaper.
"So," I say, "you guys see that Bears game?"
The cobbler turns, stiffens, holding what appears to be a halberd behind his back. A monkey in bee costume turns and straightens, dropping a revolver. A weasel in a xmas sweater sits and pretends to read a newspaper.
"So," I say, "you guys see that Bears game?"
November 29, 2025 at 10:24 PM
"Hi, are my shoes ready?" I say.
The cobbler turns, stiffens, holding what appears to be a halberd behind his back. A monkey in bee costume turns and straightens, dropping a revolver. A weasel in a xmas sweater sits and pretends to read a newspaper.
"So," I say, "you guys see that Bears game?"
The cobbler turns, stiffens, holding what appears to be a halberd behind his back. A monkey in bee costume turns and straightens, dropping a revolver. A weasel in a xmas sweater sits and pretends to read a newspaper.
"So," I say, "you guys see that Bears game?"
Reposted by Grimm
sorry I went through your dog door and rearranged your furniture
November 29, 2025 at 2:32 AM
sorry I went through your dog door and rearranged your furniture
Reposted by Grimm
New Yorkers BLOCK ICE from leaving their parking garage ahead of a flopped mass raid attempt on Canal Street
November 29, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Reposted by Grimm
my father has dementia and sometimes his actions can be alarming so when he kept going out to the garage i finally followed him only to discover he’d hidden the last of the banana cream pie in the spare fridge and keeps going for back for more bites
November 29, 2025 at 7:25 PM
my father has dementia and sometimes his actions can be alarming so when he kept going out to the garage i finally followed him only to discover he’d hidden the last of the banana cream pie in the spare fridge and keeps going for back for more bites
Reposted by Grimm
To all the elderly ladies who told me I’d be a real heartbreaker when I was 7, I have some pretty devastating news
November 29, 2025 at 3:08 PM
To all the elderly ladies who told me I’d be a real heartbreaker when I was 7, I have some pretty devastating news
Reposted by Grimm
600 ICE agents were supposed to be deployed to Canal Street. Hundreds of New Yorkers gathered instead.
Quick summary by me:
Quick summary by me:
November 29, 2025 at 6:55 PM
600 ICE agents were supposed to be deployed to Canal Street. Hundreds of New Yorkers gathered instead.
Quick summary by me:
Quick summary by me:
Reposted by Grimm
Home Depot wanted holiday cheer, got a whole-ass choir calling out their partnership with ICE instead…
November 29, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Home Depot wanted holiday cheer, got a whole-ass choir calling out their partnership with ICE instead…
Reposted by Grimm
Every single time a young republican gets famous for being unfairly judged you look at what they did and it's always them being utterly fucking mediocre.
It's always them being embarrassingly shit at something and then pissing and moaning about being expected to have met any standards.
It's always them being embarrassingly shit at something and then pissing and moaning about being expected to have met any standards.
November 29, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Every single time a young republican gets famous for being unfairly judged you look at what they did and it's always them being utterly fucking mediocre.
It's always them being embarrassingly shit at something and then pissing and moaning about being expected to have met any standards.
It's always them being embarrassingly shit at something and then pissing and moaning about being expected to have met any standards.
LIFEHACK: Encourage your precious new baby to redeem the world so we can get shed of the vast legion of assholes festishizing the last one.
November 29, 2025 at 8:08 AM
LIFEHACK: Encourage your precious new baby to redeem the world so we can get shed of the vast legion of assholes festishizing the last one.
Reposted by Grimm
"Well. That's a bit much."
- me whenever I see an inordinately beautiful person
- me whenever I see an inordinately beautiful person
April 12, 2024 at 2:51 AM
"Well. That's a bit much."
- me whenever I see an inordinately beautiful person
- me whenever I see an inordinately beautiful person
If you like really GOOD, BREWMASTER-BREWED, QUALITY beer, to the point where you'd call yourself a hophead, I absolutely want you to enjoy whatever beer you like but please never recommend any beer to me because I do not trust you.
November 29, 2025 at 4:56 AM
If you like really GOOD, BREWMASTER-BREWED, QUALITY beer, to the point where you'd call yourself a hophead, I absolutely want you to enjoy whatever beer you like but please never recommend any beer to me because I do not trust you.