MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
Pinned
MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
· Jan 20
Sorry I said your boyfriend looks like Baron Harkonnen. It was childish & wrong. He's floating right behind me, isn't he?
Reposted by MrsFitz
Once called my Dad and asked him to come pick me up, I didn’t want to stay at this sleepover anymore.
He told me to stop whining and that I had to stay with my wife and kids.
He told me to stop whining and that I had to stay with my wife and kids.
December 13, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Once called my Dad and asked him to come pick me up, I didn’t want to stay at this sleepover anymore.
He told me to stop whining and that I had to stay with my wife and kids.
He told me to stop whining and that I had to stay with my wife and kids.
Reposted by MrsFitz
A friend of mine confessed that she was addicted to ChatGPT and she uses it for all of her business stuff and that explains why all of her emails sound like Borat wrote them
December 13, 2025 at 1:45 AM
A friend of mine confessed that she was addicted to ChatGPT and she uses it for all of her business stuff and that explains why all of her emails sound like Borat wrote them
Reposted by MrsFitz
Lucky for me the year's almost up because I've just about run out of scream.
December 12, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Lucky for me the year's almost up because I've just about run out of scream.
Reposted by MrsFitz
I don't believe Schenectady is a real place.
December 13, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I don't believe Schenectady is a real place.
Reposted by MrsFitz
sometimes i think i’d do ok during the apocalypse but then i remember how hysterical i get when i can’t find my chapstick in my purse
December 12, 2025 at 7:19 PM
sometimes i think i’d do ok during the apocalypse but then i remember how hysterical i get when i can’t find my chapstick in my purse
Reposted by MrsFitz
Room for one more shitty decision before the end of the year for the plot
December 12, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Room for one more shitty decision before the end of the year for the plot
Reposted by MrsFitz
Audioslave was playing on the classic rock station. I have more life to live, goddamnit
December 11, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Audioslave was playing on the classic rock station. I have more life to live, goddamnit
Reposted by MrsFitz
People get weird when you pull a bunch of baby teeth out of your pocket
December 12, 2025 at 9:17 PM
People get weird when you pull a bunch of baby teeth out of your pocket
Reposted by MrsFitz
whenever i watch an old timey movie and see the small handbags the ladies would carry all i can think is “that would never hide a rotisserie chicken”
December 12, 2025 at 9:24 PM
whenever i watch an old timey movie and see the small handbags the ladies would carry all i can think is “that would never hide a rotisserie chicken”
Reposted by MrsFitz
My brother went to Berlin to see Radiohead, did I mention that he doesn’t have any kids
December 12, 2025 at 10:40 PM
My brother went to Berlin to see Radiohead, did I mention that he doesn’t have any kids
Friday night listening.
December 13, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Friday night listening.
Reposted by MrsFitz
waiting for the bus & not having the schedule but it’s actually me waiting for the gummy to kick in
December 13, 2025 at 12:17 AM
waiting for the bus & not having the schedule but it’s actually me waiting for the gummy to kick in
Reposted by MrsFitz
head & shoulders,
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
December 9, 2025 at 12:36 AM
head & shoulders,
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
knees & toes,
i can touch
just 2 of those .
im old, is what im saying😫
Reposted by MrsFitz
of course calibri is a woke font, all fonts are woke. you should only communicate with hieroglyphics of wojaks
December 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
of course calibri is a woke font, all fonts are woke. you should only communicate with hieroglyphics of wojaks
Reposted by MrsFitz
My car is an eight speed problematic.
December 12, 2025 at 4:46 PM
My car is an eight speed problematic.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Our defeat took its toll. The very air was melancholic. That’s when I withdrew a flageolet from my vest pocket and began playing All Star by the band Smash Mouth
December 12, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Our defeat took its toll. The very air was melancholic. That’s when I withdrew a flageolet from my vest pocket and began playing All Star by the band Smash Mouth
Reposted by MrsFitz
one notification simply does not supply the dopamine i need where can i get some cocaine
December 12, 2025 at 5:19 PM
one notification simply does not supply the dopamine i need where can i get some cocaine
Reposted by MrsFitz
[reading The Night Before Christmas]
son: what's a kerchief?
daughter: what's a clatter?
son: what's a sash?
daughter: what are coursers?
son: what's soot?
daughter: what's a peddler?
son: what's a thistle?
me: *closing book* Santa is fake. It's all fake. Goodnight.
son: what's a kerchief?
daughter: what's a clatter?
son: what's a sash?
daughter: what are coursers?
son: what's soot?
daughter: what's a peddler?
son: what's a thistle?
me: *closing book* Santa is fake. It's all fake. Goodnight.
December 9, 2025 at 5:31 PM
[reading The Night Before Christmas]
son: what's a kerchief?
daughter: what's a clatter?
son: what's a sash?
daughter: what are coursers?
son: what's soot?
daughter: what's a peddler?
son: what's a thistle?
me: *closing book* Santa is fake. It's all fake. Goodnight.
son: what's a kerchief?
daughter: what's a clatter?
son: what's a sash?
daughter: what are coursers?
son: what's soot?
daughter: what's a peddler?
son: what's a thistle?
me: *closing book* Santa is fake. It's all fake. Goodnight.
Reposted by MrsFitz
This gift could’ve been a gift card.
December 9, 2025 at 5:37 PM
This gift could’ve been a gift card.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Welcome to bluesky. If you like pithy observations on all your shitposts you'll love it here.
December 9, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Welcome to bluesky. If you like pithy observations on all your shitposts you'll love it here.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Hiring Manager: I see here you have experience building your own omelettes.
December 8, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Hiring Manager: I see here you have experience building your own omelettes.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Reposted by MrsFitz
i could draw a sideways eight forever
December 7, 2025 at 3:49 PM
i could draw a sideways eight forever
Reposted by MrsFitz
idk who put the pity in serendipity but I’ll take it
December 8, 2025 at 3:43 PM
idk who put the pity in serendipity but I’ll take it